I was thinking today about two different styles of play that rarely get talked about. I say styles of play, but really they’re more categories that specific play styles can be grouped into. I’m not sure they have a well defined and widely understood name, so I’m just going to call them brain and no brain.
No brain is play where the submissive only has to exist and react to the domme in instinctual ways. Simply to be there, in the moment, and twitch, moan or scream is enough. The domme is still gathering feedback to guide the scene, but the submissive can be floating away in subspace, zoning out or trying to push through a pain threshold. There’s no higher level though process needed.
In contrast, play in the brain category involves the domme engaging with the submissive at a more conscious level. She wants to pull him back into the present, catch him off guard and generally stop him relaxing into the scene. This often involves asking questions, or have him verbalize what’s happening, or define some protocol to be followed. There’s an element of right and wrong for the submissive, with the heightened anxiety that brings.
Some styles of play naturally align with one or other of these categories. Mummification and sensory deprivation clearly align well with no brain. Predicament bondage is very much a brain thing. Other styles can work well in either. A domme could cane a submissive and let them focus on processing the sensations while draped comfortably over a padded bench. That would be a no brain approach. Alternatively, she could make him hold a particular pose and count the strokes, while trying to make him slip-up on the count. That’d clearly be in the brain category.
I mention all this because it struck me that these two categories rarely get talked about directly, but actually make a big difference to how play unfolds. In negotiating scenes I’ve seen lots of lists for activities to try and lots of suggestions for different roleplay scenarios, but nobody has ever asked me if I like to use my brain in a scene or not. In my experience, while no domme plays exclusively in one category, a dommes natural style does tend to align more towards one than the other. Some like a lot of verbal interaction and to create a D/s dynamic by keeping the submissive off balance, either literally or figuratively. Others are happy to work more instinctually, and let the submissive drift off into subspace as they build layers of sensation.
I personally prefer a no brain approach to sessions. I like to unplug my conscious mind and relax into whatever is about to happen. I think I might start calling that preference out in scene negotiation. Maybe it’s something for others to think about in their scene planning?
This rather elaborate predicament bondage set-up by Mistress Sidonia is definitely in the brain category. Hard to relax when you’re rigged up like that. You can see more of Mistress Sidonia’s devilish predicaments in this post at the English Mansion blog.
Great post. I hadn’t thought about it like that before. I think what I like most is actually a lot of brain in my mistress – going through the motions is a turn off, but someone who has a plan is very sexy, whether I’m the meat to be chewed on our the mouse for the cat.
Do you think sub space only happens really happens with no brain play?
Brain or no brain definitely applies only to the submissive side. I agree you always want a lot of brain being used by the domme, whatever the style of play. Adjusting, anticipating and pushing as appropriate clearly requires a lot of conscious effort.
As for sub space – that’s a really interesting question. Possibly I should do another post on it. For me that’s definitely true. I need to be able to relax into the experience and give myself up to it. But I don’t get off on humiliation or emotionally heavy roleplays. That’s definitely play involving the brain, but I could also believe it if people claimed that was play that pushed them into subspace. Probably wouldn’t be the same kind of subspace I look for however. Need to ponder on that idea a bit longer.
Thanks for stopping by to comment!
-paltego
For a hypno-fetish fan, this question takes on a whole other meaning…
Domme: Would you like your brain to be in the room at all during the session? Because I can get rid of it… all of it.
I’ve always been fascinated by hypnoplay, but I imagine it’s hard to find someone to get into it with? I’m with someone who’s not particularly interested, but would love to try.
It’s easy to learn. Most people don’t realize that.
Not interested? But it’s so convenient. That’s what lured my wife. She snaps her fingers to freeze my body like a statue (& gaged) instead of fumbling with all the bondage gears… Physical equipment are just not her thing.
Not even the pain from single tail whips can release me from her hypnotic bondage/gag. Safety? “If you feel unsafe, or not private you’ll be free to move or talk.” That’s all there is to it. It works remarkably well. So far, I have never been able to move freely because of the pain. But the instant I hear kids waking up, I am free to move. I image if I really feel unsafe, I’ll be able to move.
Of course my wife could have opted for hypnotic whip instead of a real one. My unconscious mind wouldn’t know the difference. Wife didn’t mind going through the hassle learning how to handle a single tail.
You can always find a pro hypno-domme and try a session to see if you like it.
You can also hypnotize your partner into liking it. That’s what I did to my wife. No, I’m not mind controlling her. It’s just a cool way of saying I made it fun for her so now she enjoys it immensely.