How to Deal with Men

This NYTimes article is pretty much perfect link fodder for this blog. It features an ex-dominatrix teaching a class for women on how to tackle power imbalance when dealing with men in conversation and negotiation. I particularly like the fact that the course apparently draws on BDSM, Taoist martial arts and Cesar Millan’s book on dog training. I love the idea of a woman in a business meeting sternly telling a loud man to sit down and be quiet, and then tossing him a biscuit from her handbag.

One quote that I did find slightly surprising was this…

“If I’m in control of you, my attention is outward, so precisely fixed on the other person that I almost forget I exist,” Ms. Urbaniak told the audience. If you’re submissive, “your attention is focused inward, on yourself and your feelings.”

I found that curious, because that’s pretty much the opposite of how I function. When I’m deep in a submissive mind set my focus is intensely on the domme. Everything else floats away, my body is no longer mine and she’s the center of my universe. Conversely, when I’m being forceful in a work situation, my focus originates from a sense of self and confidence in my knowledge and expertise.

If you’re interested in the classes, they’re run by Kasia Urbaniak from something she calls The Academy. I’ve obviously no idea of their efficacy, but I do appreciate the goals and sentiment behind them.

I found this image via some random tumblr, but I believe that’s London based Mistress Evilyne with one of the ‘Boss’ mugs.