Tag: Bondage

Happiness

Greater Good Magazine has an interview with the sociologists Alicia M. Walker and Arielle Kuperberg on their new book – Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life.

The message of the interview and the book is the happiness BDSM can bring.

VL: What did you discover in your research that surprised you?

AW: I was just really shocked overall about how happy everybody was, which became the crux of the book. There’s never been another group of people that I’ve interviewed, for every single person that I talked to, who was just wildly happy. And this is a huge sample—96 completed interviews, but I talked to far, far more people who didn’t end up completing interviews. That is just extremely unusual.

Obviously, I’m happy that BDSM makes people happy. Far be it from me to knock such a positive message. But I do wonder if more careful qualification is needed here. They’re not necessarily talking about people who are kinky and attracted to BDSM. Nor are they even talking about people who simply practice BDSM. As far as I can tell, they’re talking about a narrower subset – the people who are part of a BDSM community. I think that means people who go to munches, attend play parties, go to community events, etc.

It makes me wonder what the data would look like if you separated kink from sociability. Are couples who practice kink purely in their private lives happier than non kinky couples? How about people who exercise their kinky side with pro-dommes? What about sociable community focused non-kinky people compared to people in the BDSM community? Is it BDSM that makes people happy or the community elements that form around it?

I guess I should read the book and find out if they tease apart that kind of data. In the meantime I’ll leave you with an image of a domme who certainly appears to be in her happy place. It’s less clear how the submissive feels about it, but I’m sure he’s smiling.

This is Miss Erika Rayne, a pro-domme based out of Bristol, UK. I sourced the image via her Bluesky feed. If you’re in the Bristol area and interested in finding some happiness of your own, her session and contact information is available on her website.

CFNM Fetish Style

In looking at this image it struck me how rarely I play with dommes in serious fetishwear. The common stereotype of a pro-domme is someone dressed head to toe like Vespa here from Reflective Desire. All tight latex, straps, heels and corsets. Yet in reality that look only gets widely used in content creation or in very specific fetish sessions. It looks fabulous but it’s just too much of a pain to put together and work with for a regular session of a couple of hours. If only these kind of outfits worked like the Futurama spray on bikini.

This is Vespa and Heavy shooting for Reflective Desire. You can see more via their site and their Bluesky feed.

Before and After

I remain conflicted on the topic of AI and femdom content. On one hand, I do like the fact people are producing interesting new material. For example, the image below by VelvetLash (who I’ve featured here before). I love this image and it’s not the kind of thing you’d see in regular femdom content. Medical and bondage material certainly exists, but this feels like something new and worthwhile.

On the other hand the sheer amount of AI dreck filling up sites is depressing. It’s so easy to pump out hundreds of variations on a theme. There’s a danger that any creative examples like this one will be buried beneath a tsunami of identikit Nvidia dommes.

Thinking about it tonight put me in mind of Low Background Steel. That’s an odd connection, but hear me out. If you’re making sensitive laboratory grade radiation devices, you need to use steel made prior to the late 1940’s. That’s because later steel is contaminated by airborne particles from nuclear testing. This uncontaminated steel can be collected from old shipwrecks or other pre-war steel construction. I wonder if in the future we’ll think about imagery having a similar before and after time. Images shown to be published pre 2024 (or thereabouts) will be considered differently than anything later. Post the AI explosion, we’ll always have visual contamination to keep in mind.

Dapper

This is a lovely blend of ideas. The neatly fitted and well made gag and blindfold both align with the suit and contrast against it. Her pose and outfit is more casual and relaxed, yet her positioning is clearly dominant. He looks in control of himself and yet controlled at the same time. Plus, it’s not often you see a pocket square in a bondage scene.

I’ve hunted around online but sadly I can’t find an original source. I’m wondering if it has been cropped from the original. It looks a bit like the kind of image that Domina M creates, but I can’t prove that. If anyone can help attribute then please leave me a comment.

Updated: Domina M kindly left a comment to indicate it’s not her (although she’s a fan of the aesthetic), but is fairly certain it’s Miss Grey of SF.

Stylish and Contemporary

This is a very sexy scene in a sleek stylish setting. It’s not often you see a contemporary furniture in a playspace. Although that’s not strictly true if you’re a regular reader of this blog – as that couch and its owner has been featured before. The bondage wrap, posture collar and inflatable gag make for a great predicament set-up, particularly in combination with the industrial strength vibrator.

The domme in charge here is Mistress Trinity, and this is from a collection of images she posted to Bluesky.

Inescapable

After the impressive bondage of the last post I thought I’d go in the other direction with this.

James Bond is notorious for escaping from many tight situations, but I don’t think he’ll be too taxed by this one. A good shrug would probably do it. Maybe the villainess has been looking at too much early bondage porn. That often featured a few randomly placed lengths of clothesline as a means of restraint. Of course if Karin Dor had tied me up, I probably wouldn’t be struggling too hard to get away either.

This is of course Sean Connery and Karin Dor in You Only Live Twice.

Inverting the Usual

Spectacular rope suspension bondage typically features young, lithe, female models. Which is undoubtedly hot, but can be a little predictable. This inverted suspension shot flips the script. It’s a super impressive set-up, both for the man in the ropes and those doing the rigging. The former is Tim Sangster and the latter is Mistress Wildfire and Mistress Vivienne L’Amour. From the limited rope suspension I’ve done, I know how tricky this must have been to get right.

Awful but slightly less so

I was being rude about Google a few posts back. They still suck and I hate how they’ve ruined so many great products, but their image search is just a tiny, tiny bit less terrible than I thought. Maybe 0.27% less bad.

Previously I was complaining that they had blocked reverse image search for explicit images and their definition of explicit was ridiculously broad. Having played with it some more I think they’ve tweaked it so it will still find explicit images, but only if they’re exact matches. Normally, if it can’t find an exact match, it’ll give you related or similar shots. If it thinks the image is explicit then it’ll either just give links to the exact matches or nothing at all. That’s still annoyingly puritanical of them, but at least it can sometimes help with image attribution.

For example, I found this image on a tumblr. Google’s reverse image search took me to The Deadly Doll Experience. That’s the site for Kissmedeadlydoll, a domme and talented kinky smut creator based in NYC. The combination of tight rope and latex encasement is beautiful, with the hand to the throat adding extra hotness.

You can see more from Kissmedeadlydoll at her OnlyFans, Film Site, Clips4Sale and ManyVids. Or schedule a session with her in NYC.

Three More Years

I renewed my domain name registration for this site this week. A couple of hundred bucks for another 3 years of internet existence. It feels like money well spent. With social media, big tech and credit card companies continuing to make a mess of the internet, it’s nice to have a bit of it under your own control. It might not be changing the world but it’s my little soapbox to stand on.

Not sure what’s the right image to commemorate a DNS registration, so I’ll simply go with some visual loveliness. This is Marie Sauvage from an article on her Shibari practice in Purple Magazine.