Tag: FFm

Session Time

Interesting thread here by Lady Vi on how she feels session time should be measured. In her view negotiation and aftercare is very much part of the scheduled session time, not something that happens outside it. She therefore always allows at least 15 minutes before the session ends for that aftercare and clean-up process.

Obviously every pro-domme runs her sessions how she sees fit. Totally not my place to suggest differently. However, I will make a few observations from my experience on the client side.

Firstly, while that approach is the most common one, it’s not entirely universal. I’ve sessioned with experienced dommes who used most of the booked time for play and let aftercare spill beyond that. They presumably built that fact into their schedules and their pricing structure.

Secondly, because there’s not a single approach, it can be confusing when playing with different dommes. My first domme used to play for almost all of the scheduled time, so I assumed that was the standard. I was confused and a little put out when I played with others and found that it wasn’t common. Of course I adjusted my expectations in time, but what a domme might have assumed was entitlement on my part was really just differing experiences.

Finally, there is the risk of feeling shortchanged if the aftercare period wraps up quicker than expected. Miss Grey makes this point in a tweeted reply. I’ve walked out of some sessions feeling buzzed, looked at my watch and realized there was theoretically 10+ minutes of session time left. That’s a quick way to lose the buzz.

Personally, I like the approach Miss Grey adopts. I’d rather pay a higher hourly rate and allow some flexibility on the time for aftercare. To draw a slightly odd analogy, I think of it a bit like the bonus dishes that a fine dining restaurant may send out. Logically, you know you’re still paying for them as part of the overall charge, but it creates a happy positive energy when you get them.

This shot of Miss Grey and friend is from her website. She’s an SF based pro-domme and disciplinarian.

Never A Kink Around When You Need One

I’m surprised I’ve never developed a humiliation kink. God knows, I’ve given myself enough opportunities.

My latest non-consensual attempt happened in my building’s elevator. I was heading out to get coffee, wrapped up warm against the chill of Seattle in April. A rather attractive younger woman got on, smiled at me and said hello. She kept glancing across at me, asking how my day was going and made some cheerful small talk about the weather. I wasn’t delusional enough to think she was flirting, but it’s always nice to have a positive interaction with neighbors. I walked up to my coffee shop in a cheerful mood. It wasn’t until I’d arrived and taken off my  black woolen hat that I realized that I’d put it on inside out. The white care label was sticking straight up on the top, like a giant surrender flag of lost dignity. No wonder she kept looking back at me. It’s not often you see a 50 year old man who still hasn’t figured out how to dress himself properly.

Here’s once answer to the problem of errant clothing – an official uniform and a domme who inspects every aspect of it extremely closely. That’d certainly help focus the mind of a morning. The drawing is – of course – by the brilliant Sardax.

Fetish Archive

Dazed magazine has a nice article on the UK Leather and Fetish Archive. Housed in London, it has over 70 different donated collections, covering a variety of kinks and sexualities from the last hundred or so years. I’d love to get chance to browse it, but unfortunately you need to be in London to do so. Maybe I should donate an archive of this site when I finally decide to shut it down?

One of the collections was donated by Eva Oh and includes this illustration of her by Sardax.

Vanishing Vice

Vice Media is killing a lot of jobs and its primary web site. You can read about some of the business shenanigans behind all that here. It’s bankrupt and shifting to publishing purely via other sites.

While it has been a controversial outlet, with an abhorrent founder, I’ll be sad to see it go. While it definitely wasn’t above kinky clickbait, it had some of the better kink coverage in mainstream media. Looking back I linked to its articles fairly often. For example, on kinky therapists, on gooning, on fin-domme, on pro-domme sessions, etc.

It’s funny how the internet is simultaneously so permanent and also impermanent. It’s true that it’s almost impossible to erase a salacious photograph, an unwise tweet or an incriminating screenshot. Yet at the same time, whole sites can be wiped out in seconds. Hundreds of years of work involving thousands of people gone. Just traces left in archive sites and inaccessible local copies.

Last night I was watching a documentary on the origin of the British Exchequer and it mentioned their earliest records – in the form of pipe rolls – date back to 1130. They form a series from then until 1833, just over 700 years. What are the odds that any of our current electronic records will still be as accessible in 2724?

I’ve no idea what femdom image best suits the failure of a major media company, so let’s run with that medieval theme instead. This is the unmistakably work of Augustine.

Guido Crepax

This artwork is by the Italian artist Guido Crepax. Based on this tweet it’s circa 1980. Searching through past posts, I’m kind of surprised to discover I’ve not featured his art before. He was a significant creator of erotic art through the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, with the character Valentina being his most famous creation. While he wasn’t a femdom illustrator, kink is a common theme in his work. The Lambiek Comiclopedia has a good article on him if you’re interested to learn more.

Tip of the Moon

Today’s post brings you a new (at least to me) artist – Tip of the Moon. Their work tends to focus on submissives and the tricky bondage predicaments they find themselves in. I’m sure that will be an appealing focus for some of my domme readers. If you like what you see, then they have very reasonably priced commissions open.

You can see more from Tip of the Moon on Twitter, on Deviant Art and on SubscribeStar.

Don’t Do This

A story out of Australia has been popping up in news outlets and clogging my inbox. As this article title suggests – Dominatrix Heide Bos handed three-year jail sentence for ordering ‘slave’ to attack her boyfriend – it’s not a happy one. The short version is that Heide Bos was in an abusive relationship. She meets a man on fetlife and asks him to persuade her boyfriend to leave town. Instead he kills the boyfriend, landing them both in jail.

The news sites love it for the obvious reasons. Article headlines like the one above and this one – Submissive admits murdering dominatrix’s boyfriend – are obvious clickbait for grabbing eyeballs. However, I don’t really think it’s a kink related story at all. Take out the labels like submissive and dominatrix and you’ve got a story that has been written a million times before. Someone’s in an unhappy relationship. They meet a new partner and conspire with them against the old partner. Bad things ensue. It’s the core plot from countless murder mysteries, detective stories and true crime documentaries. Nothing to do with kink. Just people being terrible to each other. A sadly widespread affliction.

If you are in a three-way relationship and two are conspiring to do terrible things to a third, then please adopt the approach of this delightful trio. I’ve no idea who created this or when, but it looks like they’re all having fun. Kink as it should be.

Augustine-esque Fiction

Posting the new Augustine artwork reminded me of some femdom fiction that follows similar themes. Lots of predicaments, heavy bondage, enemas and invasive procedures, all inflicted by faux-caring sadistic dommes.

The first is by Tyjord, who has a number of stories on the BDSM Library site. Searching around also led me to a couple of his stories at The Fet Library, which look like they’re slightly more recent.

The second is by switchbent. I originally stumbled across Playdate on the Utopia stories site, but it looks like he’s also got another one at The Fet Library called Go With the Flow.

I don’t think any of the stories will win prizes for realistic scenarios, but if you’re into the themes and like your femdom fiction extreme, then I think they’re worth checking out.

This enema themed artwork is by the artist sometimes known as the German.