I was recently entertained by the story of a Catholic priest who locked himself in handcuffs and had to call 911 to escape them. The linked article even has the audio of the call, complete with the dispatcher asking where he was (the rectory) and did he work there (he admitted he did). The thing I found surprising wasn’t the restraint loving priest, but the slightly incredulous tone of the dispatcher. In a previous life I spent some months working with operators answering emergency calls and, like ER doctors, nothing seemed to really faze them. They’d heard it all before.
Part of me feels a little sorry for the good Father. I’m sure a lot of kinky people experimented with self-bondage when they were young. I know I did, and it was more good luck than judgement that saved me from any similarly embarrassing public situations. On the other hand the priest in question works for Bishop Thomas Paprocki. His various claims to fame include blaming the lawsuits resulting from the Catholic child abuse scandal on the devil, attacking gay marriage as discrimination against Christians and preaching that voting Democrat will send you to hell. Anyone keeping company with a fine ‘Christian’ like that doesn’t get a lot of sympathy from me.
Next time the kinky clergyman feels the urge to restrain himself from sin, he should find himself a Nun to help out. She can take care of the handcuff keys and also any flagellation that might be necessary for such a naughty priest. Perhaps the young lady below would be willing to ensure he repents properly?
You might be surprised to learn that this very authentically costumed ‘nun’ has not actually taken her holy vows. It’s the model Miranda Kerr, as photographed by Greg Kadel for Numéro magazine. I originally stumbled across it on the Kinky Games tumblr.
A day without a kinky latex nun is like a day without sunshine!
So that’s what Seattle’s problem is. I always thought it was geography and climate. But clearly a lack of kinky latex nuns is the reasons for our grey skys and rain. I demand an immediate government program to supply them forthwith! 🙂
-paltego
The dispatcher’s voice cracked me up.
Self-bondage can actually get very restrictive and elaborate, which I only learned recently. There are internet forums where people–mostly dudes–exchange ideas and experiences. They get very creative–like locking themselves in chains with a padlock, and having the key to the padlock frozen in the middle of a block of ice. They can’t get out till the ice melts. They photograph the adventure with a camera on a timer. I find the subculture sort of fascinating.
What really skeeves me out is autoerotic asphyxiation. I enjoy breath play myself–have gotten those little pinprick hematoma on more than one occasion–but I sure as hell wouldn’t do it to myself when I’m all alone! It’s a great way to get yourself killed.
For a Man of God who really “went big” with self-bondage, nobody beats Rev. Gary Aldridge. Father Handcuffs is an amateur in comparison. Aldridge was found hogtied wearing two wet suits and rubber underwear (and more).
Check it out:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/dead-reverends-rubber-fetish
The existence of that kind of sub-culture doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s not one I’ve been involved in, but I can very much imagine kinky geeky hobbyist guys getting very involved in that kind of thing.
I love breathplay. I think it pushes me into subspace more quickly and deeply than anything else. But yes, doing it alone is nuts.
I had heard the Gary Aldridge story before, but he seemed worth bringing him to other people’s attention. So thanks for the reminder, that’s now the subject of my latest post. 🙂
-paltego
Nice post paltego. Love the audio and thanks Miss Margo for your contribution as well.
I think parochial schools could raise significant monies by creating an adult education division and staffing it with teachers like the good sister shown here.
RW
Glad you liked it Rich Wussy. It made me smile when writing it.
Personally I’m not normally a fan of the nun outfit. I like a lot of the conventional kinky tropes (teacher, nurse, military, etc.) but the nun thing doesn’t do much for me. However, I think I’d make an exception for the lovely Miranda Kerr, or other good sisters like her!
-paltego