A few posts ago I was writing about domination for dummies. This post is the double converse of that – submissive who are dumb. It was sparked by the tumblr of Mistress Ouch and her series of posts on some of the dumb things wannabe clients say to her. I found them highly entertaining. A few of my favorites were…
“Hi Mistress, I want a really simple easy session and since all that other stuff you do is gross and weird you’re probably really glad to have such a simple easy boring session. Can I have a discount?”
“I disagree with your boundaries. I am very logical and your boundaries are very illogical. Let me use my awesome logic skills to show you how stupid and crazy your boundaries are. Why aren’t you agreeing with me? You’re stupid and crazy.”
“Wait, you’re letting me choose when I get to come in? You mean you don’t dominate me during the booking process?”
She has plenty more amusing example of obtuseness from the little s brigade. They’re well worth a read as examples of the kind of idiocy that pro-dommes have to regularly sort through.
I thought picking a picture for this post might be tricky until I stumbled on the one below. Butthead would make the stupidest submissive possible. I don’t think they ever did a Beavis and Butthead episode featuring a pro-domme, which feels like they missed a trick. The dialog just writes itself. It starts with “Uh huh huh huh. We’re totally going to do it. Come to Butthead”. Swiftly followed “Owww! Get off me you asswipe! That hurts”.
This image was never part of the TV show. It’s taken from a 1997 book called The Butt Files.
*Sigh*
Guys like this whether in the pro-Domme arena or crawling out from under stones on Fetlife or the femdom blogs really do get male submissives a bad name.
I wrote this on a femdom blog a few weeks ago and it was well-received, so no apologies for re-posting:
There are men who genuinely worship women and for whom submission offers blessed release from the vast gender-prison that patriarchy has built for men and women alike, and there are men who have about as much insight into their inner selves as a two-year-old on the verge of a temper tantrum.
As a man, it shames me to say it, but it’s not so much the shortage of good Dommes that’s the problem. It’s the surfeit of immature, emotionally illiterate arseholes.
I’m not sure if there’s a large number of immature arseholes in proportional terms, or they’re just the most noisy and noticeable. The problem often is that idiots don’t know they’re idiots and are usually the loudest members of any crowd.
-paltego
Ha ha ha!!! Brilliant! In fact I think I recognize that guy and all of his quotes from “The Hang!”! 🙂
Yes, there’s definitely a few in here that sounded familiar from the less sharp members of that particular forum! 🙂
-paltego
Oh my God, this is so funny–your commentary, paltego; Mistress Ouch’s anecdotes; and the picture of Butthead. I just might have to link to it on my blog.
One email that I get at least once or twice a week is from a resentful NOT-sub type who wants me to know that “IF-YOU-WERE-REALLY-A-DOMME-YOU-WOULDN’T-HAVE-TO-GET-PAID-FOR-IT!!!” Yeah, because I should spank your flabby decrepit hairy old ass for free, buddy.
And then, of course, HOUSEBOY REQUESTS. My domme friends and I are convinced that authentic male service submissives are basically unicorns. Lots of guys think that the fantasy sounds hot, but then when they actually have to, you know, clean stuff…while not being supervised by a Hawt Mistress in Leather…they don’t think it’s so fun anymore. lol.
Glad you liked it Miss Margo. Mistress Ouch takes all the credit for the entertaining spin she put on the comments she gets.
I have heard of a couple of cases where houseboy scenarios worked out, so it’s not a complete myth. But I’ve also heard of way way more that don’t. It’s a scenario that does absolutely nothing for me so I’m never tempted to try it. Cleaning stuff is very un-fun. I’m more of a organizing interesting trips and cooking dinner type service submissive :).
-paltego