I have mixed feelings about enema play. I find the fantasy really hot, but the reality somehow doesn’t click in the same way.
I love the idea of something so invasive, intimate and controlling. There are exciting tubes, clinical looking apparatus and thick probes to be inserted. It hints at mad medical experiments by sadistic doctors, as well as a ‘it’s for your own good’ nurse dynamic. I like artwork featuring them (Augustine is always a reliable source) and fiction that describes them (for example Tyjord).
Unfortunately the reality involves stomach cramps, bowel movements and lots of sphincter clenching. None of these are in my list of top 1000 sexy things. They put me more in mind of food poisoning and nights out that go horribly wrong. There’s nothing worse than being packed shoulder to shoulder in a crowded dive bar when your curry from earlier that evening decides it needs to make a break for it. The effects of an enema remind me all to vividly of painful minutes spent desperately clenching while queuing for a scummy single stall toilet that wasn’t clean at the start of the evening, and certainly hasn’t improved since then.
Now that I’ve disgusted everyone with that particular mental picture, let me try and redeem myself with a hot enema related image. This has all the good stuff and not a clenched sphincter in sight.
I found this on the Wet Beehive tumbr. I’m afraid I couldn’t track down an original attribution, so if anyone knows who this striking looking lady is, feel free to leave a suitable comment.
A few years ago we bought a box at an auction, unseen, just sort of a “Let’s do this, it might be really interesting what’s in it” idea and it had a bunch of sealed enema kits, actually a lot of them and yup, the inflatable nozzle in that picture.
So all of a sudden I had about 500 of them and didn’t know what to do, we put them on eBay, first they didn’t sell well, sales picked up when we still advertised them as a health item, but I held them up with a rubber gloved hand, the text had kinky undertones but was well above board and not violating TOS. They sold like hot cakes and the emails we got were kind of “revealing”, the only thing that made me question the brains of some of the buyers were, you buy something that is obviously kinky, you ask for discrete packaging (a given anyway with those items, padded envelopes, sealed securely), then you use your business email and have them send to your business address… Not really the smartest move. I don’t mind bankers or heads of big insurance companies being kinky, but asking if you got some inflatable nozzle that will inflate even over 7″ from your business email that gives the full title and all that, NOT A GOOD IDEA! eBay has changed a lot now, but it was seriously a lot of “Don’t they have common sense?” moments there… And yes, quite a surprise about how popular enemas are 😉
I love the fact that of all the people to get a closed box of enema kits it was you. Most people would have been nonplussed by that, but you knew exactly how to do the appropriate sales pitch 🙂
I’ve often been surprised by what email addresses people will contact me with. It’s not like it’s difficult to grab an outlook or gmail address, yet people will go ahead and use their work email. I guess when it comes to shipping sex items your company shipping department is less likely to crack the package open than a spouse is!
-paltego
We still joke about it, it was seriously a rather innocent idea of going to those auctions where people don’t pick up their stored items.
I mean without giving too much away, I think if you’re head of a rather large bank, I’d be wondering if the secretary doesn’t open them? The highlight was actually a professor at the university (not my department) and for a brief moment I wondered if I should deliver personally and refund the shipping costs. Didn’t seem like such a good idea…
Mind you this was about 10 years ago, but the thought that crossed my mind was “Why do criminals spy people out? All they’d need to do would to sell kinky items on eBay and they’d get all the info delivered!” It wasn’t just the what they bought, but also the pictures and mails they sent (from the work accounts) that had me question their common sense.
And trust me the pictures were not pretty, you know what they say, what the eye has seen can never be unseen, it’s true 😉
We made a fortune on the auctioned box, but we paid with nightmares.
I tend to think the old days of people having secretaries dealing with mail are passed. But then again, I live and work on the West coast of the US, so I suspect it’s a little more relaxed and low key out here. Maybe on the East coast and in Europe there’s still the old school style of office administration.
I think delivering the box in person to the professor would have been brilliant. I mean, yes, it would have been a terrible idea. But just for that moment and the look on his face? That’s classic sitcom material. Ricky Gervais or John Cleese couldn’t have put together a better script.
-paltego
Depends really, in the banking world things tend to change slowly, and if your name is on the letterhead, I guess they don’t give up the status symbols of having a secretary (well the PC term would be PA) as I can’t imagine them dealing themselves with every letter… Just makes you wonder even more how they could actually have such jobs…
As for the prof, I was tempted, very tempted. I readily admit that while I sent the “item” in the mail, I did find myself in that department just to have a look. Curiosity did get the better of me…
I’m actually heading to your neck of the woods in a few weeks and while it will be rather busy, I decided I definitely need to make time to dip my toes into the ocean 😉
Yes, I suspect you’re right about the status symbols in the more old school businesses. We still have PA’s in the casual West coast software world, but there more about managing calendars and organizing schedules rather than traditional secretary type stuff.
As for my neck of the woods – do you mean the West coast generally or Seattle specifically? Because if it’s the former then it might be a little chilly to dip your toes in the ocean! The Puget Sound isn’t exactly hot at the best of times, let alone in March. However, if it’s California, then you might be in a more favorable situation 🙂 San Francisco has been pretty mild all winter and Southern California is always pleasant.
-paltego