Miss Margo’s latest post – My Night with the Sailor – isn’t femdom at all, but one part of it made me smile and put me in mind of when I play. As the post title suggests, it features a sexual encounter with a naval man, and this was the part that caught my eye…
He thanked me for the sex…well, he didn’t say “Thanks for the sex,” he just said “thank you” after he came. It always makes me feel weird when guys thank me for sex. I don’t know why.
I have two consistent reactions after kinky play or even vanilla sex. One is laughter and the other is to say thank you. Neither are directed at a specific thing. I’m not laughing at what just happened or saying thank you for hitting me with stuff (although I’m always grateful for anyone doing that). The laughter is a joyous thing. It can be a release of tension after a particularly intense scene, it can be a sense of ‘Wow, I can’t believe we pulled that crazy thing off”, but mostly it’s just an expression of happiness and well-being. Similarly, the thank you isn’t about being polite or acknowledging a debt. It’s far more general. It’s a thank you for being alive, for being into kink, for being open to a shared experience, for being there in that moment with me. Whether I’m getting sweaty in the sheets or being beaten and tormented, the end result makes me very happy, and laughter and thanks are my natural way to acknowledge that.
I found this image on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr. I picked for the combination of sex and what looks like happy laughter. It seemed appropriate to the topic but also vaguely familiar. It wasn’t till I came to post it that I figured out where it was from. Before looking at the attribution below it, can you name the actors and the movie?
This is actually Ewan McGregor & Kelly Macdonald from the movie Trainspotting. In the context of a femdom tumblr, with comments on tickling, I interpreted it quite differently to how it looked when I came to view it in isolation.
paltego! Thanks for the shout-out! I’ve been off the internet for a few days, and I’m just catching up with your blog! Just read this!
Come on, now. The way that I picked him up was SLIGHTLY femdom! I picked him out and approached him and controlled the circumstance, and he did all the wooing, and coughed up the bucks for the food, and changed my lightbulbs. A very attentive man. And a good sub is attentive!
I’ll give you the pick up and control of the situation does have a femdom angle. Hadn’t really thought about that. And attentiveness is certainly an important trait.
However, it’s interesting to ponder the role reversed situation. Things are never symmetric of course, but would a guy be considered a male dominant in your shoes in that story? I’m going to say no. That’s just guys being guys. Where should femdom start and healthy normal female assertiveness end? It makes me think of the bossy campaign I blogged about a while back.
-paltego