Mistress T has written a good guide on how to email a pro-domme. These kind of posts are depressingly common online. I say ‘depressingly’ not because they’re bad, but because of the need to write them at all. Over the years I’ve seen numerous similar posts from other pro-dommes, which suggests the level of bad communication remains constant and high. I therefore feel compelled to point people at these posts when they pop-up on my radar.
I think a key point to keep in mind when writing these emails is the professional part of the job description, rather than the dominant bit. Imagine emailing a lawyer or a doctor. The goal is to convey the pertinent information in a concise and readable form. If you can get the professional bit taken care of in a efficient but friendly fashion, it leads to the far more interesting and in person dominant bit.
The only part of Mistress T’s write-up I’d qualify or comment on further is around the idea of sending a tribute or gift as part of the initial discussion. I personally have two approaches on this. If the domme is the kind who does a lot of different things – clips, modelling, custom videos, sessions, etc. – then I think that makes sense. She has lot of possible ways to invest her time and effort that you need to compete with. A gift give you an advantage in that prioritization decision. I think Mistress T herself falls into that category of professionals. On the other hand, if the domme has a more traditional and singular focus on in person sessions, then I’m not sure that’s necessary. I prefer in that case to tip on top of the regular session fee after we’ve played. That is still a gift, but it feels more like a more natural thank you for the time and effort you just invested in our time together.
I’ll finish with a nice shot of Mistress T looking professional in a femme fatale kind of way. She must have had ‘big gun’ as an item on her wish list…
