Ways to Help

Last week I wrote a short post on International Sex Workers Day, with a few suggestions on how non-workers can offer support. For anyone looking for more detailed suggestions, then Bustle has put together a good article.

One thing it highlights, and something that I’ve heard directly from workers themselves, is the importance of people speaking up in non sex work settings to reduce stigma and challenge prejudice.  Laws only change when politicians think there’s enough public support for a change. Or, more cynically, when they think they can get away with a change that nobody will notice . So creating the right kind of attention across a broad swathe of the public is a key step.

Convincing readers of blogs like this or people browsing kinky forums like fetlife is the easy part. But what happen when the topic comes up in the context of friends or family? That’s a more challenging conversation. Anyone bought into the idea that all sex workers are abused women lacking autonomy will tend to look askew at anyone – particularly a man – speaking up against those myths. It’s tough to convince someone when the very act of speaking up immediately causes them to classify you as an abuser of women.

I’m not sure there’s a great solution to that problem, other than just being brave and sticking to your guns. I’m out to some of my friends, which makes it easier to talk about. I don’t get into kinky details, but it does let me describe the smart, independent and creative pro-dommes I encounter, as well as the problems of laws like SESTA/FOSTA.  There’s also enough coverage of the topic in mainstream publications that it’s possible to share and direct people towards articles without necessarily getting into a deeply personal discussion. And at the very least, don’t let slurs and casual bigotry against sex workers go unchallenged.

This lady looks like someone who doesn’t need any help in getting her point across. She looks very familiar, but I can’t place the face to a name. Feel free to leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful comment I now believe this is Lady Sophia Black, a UK based pro-domme. Main site here and twitter here.