I’ve experienced a strange emotional response in recent weeks. People hitting me has made me angry. That’s obviously not unusual for most people but for me, in the context of kink, it’s very strange. Corporal play was one of my primary fantasies for many years and a staple of my scenes. Yet recently it has generated less of an “Ooohhh, yeah….” and more of a “Hey! That hurts goddamn it!”
I have no idea why this is. Other painful things like needles, electricity, clamps and miscellaneous spiky things still get me buzzed and into that submissive floaty space. I can lean into their pain and relax under the dominants control. Yet corporal play had triggered the bad kind of ‘fight or flight’ response where I just want to make it stop.
I’m really hoping it’s a temporary thing. Maybe it’s to do with external stress or me being general angry at the state of the world. I’m not conscious of that kind of mental shift, but clearly something is awry. I’ve never met a domme yet who didn’t enjoy some form of corporal play, and I’d hate to lose such an important part of my kinky repertoire. Anyone else find they’ve had a favorite activity suddenly twist on them like this?
While my physical response might be screwed up, my visual response to corporal is still working just fine. I love this action shot from the Glasgow based Mistress Scarlet (found on her twitter feed).
Nipple play for me. I used to be like “is that as hard as you can pinch?” But lately it’s left me flat. Not sure why.
Oh that sucks. Sorry to hear about that shift in your response. I love nipple play, so I’d hate to lose that. That’s the opposite to corporal for me, in that I never fantasized about it originally, but it’s grown to be a big part of my desires.
Hope you rediscover that one in time.
-paltego
Something similar happened to me as well. I used to do fairly heavy CP, and one day I just couldn’t any more. It was like a switch flipped. I didn’t get angry but I began to have panic attacks before sessions.
Interesting. If also somewhat troubling. Sorry to hear you had that change.
I’m wondering if it’s actually a disconnection from my fantasies that has triggered it. I think about lots of other things these days, but rarely fantasize or connect corporal play to my submission. Possibly my natural connection to it has grown weak and I’ve been taking it for granted and haven’t been replenishing it.
I’ve also had panicky feelings before sessions, but generally managed to breathe through them. Sometimes a sense of ‘Why am I doing this?’ has come over me. Have your sessions evolved now without CP? Or has that issue but a constraint on your sessions?
-paltego
Perhaps stress levels are altering your response to corporal pain levels? Are you getting decent sleep? Had anything in your health been off? Those do factor in.
My health is generally OK, but it’s tough to tell with things like stress. I find that it can be hard to tell when you’re close to something. Only later, when you can step back and look with perspective, do you see exactly what stress or pressures you might have been under and what effects that had. I figure I’ll take a break from it and see how I feel in time.
Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts.
-paltego
I don’t this phenomena is restricted to kink-play.
I have in the past been a keen runner and they the urge to run palled.
I took time off and found myself more and more interested again when I saw others running . They just seemed to do it so well. It was the flowing aesthetic of it.
Gradually my wish to run returned.
So I suggest you give your body a rest from heavy CP. Enjoy other sensations. Allow your appetites to recover.
And by the way, I am sure you are right about how our present emotional state affects out appetites, kink and otherwise
Thanks for the suggestion and feedback. Interesting to hear your experience.
I am going to take a break from it. See how my feelings evolve, and if can rediscover my corporal mojo. Hopefully it’s just a temporary affliction. Reconnecting to some of my old feelings and fantasies will probably happen over time.
-paltego
Hello
If it’s okay send me an email, I have had the same reaction lately but I would prefer not to discuss this, even in the semi-anonymity of this wonderful blog, and I have some ideas about why.
G