Interesting thread here by Lady Vi on how she feels session time should be measured. In her view negotiation and aftercare is very much part of the scheduled session time, not something that happens outside it. She therefore always allows at least 15 minutes before the session ends for that aftercare and clean-up process.
Obviously every pro-domme runs her sessions how she sees fit. Totally not my place to suggest differently. However, I will make a few observations from my experience on the client side.
Firstly, while that approach is the most common one, it’s not entirely universal. I’ve sessioned with experienced dommes who used most of the booked time for play and let aftercare spill beyond that. They presumably built that fact into their schedules and their pricing structure.
Secondly, because there’s not a single approach, it can be confusing when playing with different dommes. My first domme used to play for almost all of the scheduled time, so I assumed that was the standard. I was confused and a little put out when I played with others and found that it wasn’t common. Of course I adjusted my expectations in time, but what a domme might have assumed was entitlement on my part was really just differing experiences.
Finally, there is the risk of feeling shortchanged if the aftercare period wraps up quicker than expected. Miss Grey makes this point in a tweeted reply. I’ve walked out of some sessions feeling buzzed, looked at my watch and realized there was theoretically 10+ minutes of session time left. That’s a quick way to lose the buzz.
Personally, I like the approach Miss Grey adopts. I’d rather pay a higher hourly rate and allow some flexibility on the time for aftercare. To draw a slightly odd analogy, I think of it a bit like the bonus dishes that a fine dining restaurant may send out. Logically, you know you’re still paying for them as part of the overall charge, but it creates a happy positive energy when you get them.
This shot of Miss Grey and friend is from her website. She’s an SF based pro-domme and disciplinarian.
I’ve played with a number of Mistresses and as you say timings vary. I was very lucky to find the wonderful Mistress Ava over 24 years ago. She is a magnificently cruel woman able to hand out a severe thrashing when required and able to be kind and considerate as well but after our first few sessions she basically let a session run for as long as she or I could stay. So I had sessions that lasted a couple of hours and ones that lasted five hours. It wasn’t continuous play, sometimes she would leave me tied up whilst she attended to another client. Sometimes she would involve me in another clients session. Other times I would have to clean up the rooms (usually naked) or sterilise implements whilst she did something else but I enjoyed that almost as much as the beatings etc. I never expected other Mistresses to have a similar system but it is surprising how many are flexible about sessions once you have got to know them. Sadly, due to ill health, sessions of any length at all are but a memory but they are great memories.
Yes, your point about getting to know domme’s and playing regularly is a good one. Depends on the domme’s approach and the relationship of course, but it can create more flexibility in session planning. Although I’ve never had anyone switch from my session to someone else and then back again! That’s pretty special. Sorry about the health limits, but those are certainly some unique and amazing memories to have!
-paltego