In yesterday’s post I wrote how much I disliked the alpha v’s beta personality categories. Apparently I’m not the only one, as this post by Stabbity is a fine rant on submissive guys who also describe themselves as alpha males. She makes some good points, and I agree with most of it. However, contrarian that I am, I feel I should offer a defensive of submissives that use that terminology. Or if not a defense, perhaps what I think is an explanation for some cases.
One frequent complaint from dominant women is the number of men who approach them whilst proclaiming their worthlessness. Typically these are men who have spent far too long watching bad femdom porn. “Mistress,” they’ll say. “I’ll do anything you want. I exist to serve you. I’m just a doormat. Something beneath your beautiful feet that I’m not worthy to lick – although it’d actually be really great if I could do that.”
Women in kinky spaces are understandably annoyed by this and respond that they want a strong confident submissive. Someone who can think for himself, show initiative and make a positive contribution to a relationship. I believe some submissive guys see that kind of description and think “Aha! That description looks a lot like the stereotypical alpha male. That’s an ideal label to quickly differentiate myself from those worthless worm idiots.”
I don’t disagree with Stabbity that it’s a vague term, possibly insulting and probably a sign of insecurity. As I wrote yesterday, I hate the alpha and beta labels. But I can understand the underlying dynamic that provokes some submissive men to use the term. Essentially both sides are reacting to a negative portrayal of submission. Unfortunately in trying to differentiate themselves with the word alpha, submissive men drag in a bunch of additional baggage they (possibly) don’t intend.
I’ve not seen a ball gag with formal wear before, but it makes for a nice combination. Glad to see they color coordinated it as well. This image is from Men in Pain.