After publishing yesterdays post, I had a couple of follow-up thoughts on the TimeOut pro-domme guide.
Firstly, the byline used for the article was pretty weak – ‘If you’ve suddenly found yourself in the market for a dominatrix…’ That makes it sound like a plumbing or electrical emergency. If you suddenly find yourself with a leaking tap, a blown fuse or a desire for kinky sex, then hey, we can point you in the right direction. It acts to distance the writer from the reality of the service. A more honest one would be – ‘If you’re sexually interested in the idea of a dominant woman, but currently can’t explore that desire in a personal setting, then a pro-domme might be the answer.’ Of course they couldn’t use that byline as it puts sexual desire in the fore, and that would be taboo.
That brings me to my second thought, which is the fact this article would never be written for escorts. Which I think is a shame. In the non-professional realm, BDSM and sex are intimately intertwined. In the professional realm they’re strongly bifurcated. Pro-dommes don’t offer actual sex and therefore get written up in TimeOut articles. Escorts do offer sex and therefore get arrested, harassed and not featured in mainstream publications. I like the idea of femdom getting mainstream coverage but worry about what message the professional version of it sends. Our crazy laws have distorted the professional sex worker market in weird ways. I’m a huge admirer of pro-dommes and I’ve had some truly life altering experiences with then. But it would be unfortunate if the pro-domme model of femdom became absorbed into the mainstream and seen as the definitive model.
Of course, all these random thoughts do give me an excuse to feature another image from the TimeOut list. This is Mistress Iris.
