There is a school of thought that it’s impossible to be on the receiving end of penetration and remain dominant. This teachers of this school are very stupid. No single activity is inherently dominant or submissive. What matters is the context and the dynamic between the participants.
I actually had a dominant express this thought to me last year, and to my everlasting shame I didn’t challenge her on it. I should have said that she absolutely had the right to draw her personal boundaries wherever she felt comfortable, and define activities however she thought was appropriate, but there was no single global rule about what penetration meant. Unfortunately at the time I was horny, naked and starved of kinky play. So I think my answer was along the lines of “Errrm…. Yeah. I guess. Sure. So when can we start with the beating?” Not exactly my finest hour. I did get the beating, so that was at least a plus, but I felt bad about it afterwards.
I believe this is fan art inspired by a series known as Tower of God.
Reminds me of a cartoon I saw recently. Boy and girl, about 8 years old, showing each other what they have in their underpants. Says the girl, pointing to her pubes: “… and with that I’m going to control your life.”
And of an old, crude and vulgar Dutch expression that roughly translates as: “That thing between a woman’s legs exerts more pulling power than thirteen places of religious worship.”
But you are right, paltego.
Balances and imbalances of erotic and sexual power and dominance depend on so much more than: “… the manner whereon who does what, and with what, to whom.” (from a limerick I once read, if I remember correctly)
Time to put this tired old discussion to bed and enjoy the peace and quiet while it sleeps, don’t you agree? No doubt it will wake up and rear it’s miserable head again.
Regards
(Post edited to match the other comment 🙂 )
I suspect the underlying idea behind that cartoon and expression has found life in a lot of cultures – http://www.badideatshirts.com/I-HAVE-THE-PUSSY-SO-I-MAKE-THE-RULES-T-SHIRT-P1254.aspx
I think I average a cycle or every couple of years on this particular topic! Although anecdotally is seems to be less prevalent than it used to. Maybe I’m just ignoring it more, or maybe it’s actually becoming less of an issue.
-paltego
Many years ago I had a partner who, while she was okay being penetrated, had it in her head that having an orgasm was “not dominant,” and would occasionally apologize to me for coming and “spoiling” her domme moment. This as I was manacled and decked with clamps. Go figure.
People get the weirdest ideas.
That’s certainly a strange one. Sounds like she picked up the ‘ice queen’ model for how femdom should be done. Although I guess if she associated the intense sensation of orgasm with loss of control and focus then that could have been her rationale.
-paltego
Hmm. I’m trying to leave a comment, but it’s kicking me out again.
Dammit, it’s those naughty words I’m using again.
She had seen some of that “cruel mistress” stuff which, while it aroused her, also left her with the impression that having an orgasm was a loss of control. This led to me trying harder to get her off, and her fighting to regain the “domme” role – leading to some interesting feedback loops, as you might imagine.
I can definitely see how someone could get that kind of impression, given some of the porn that’s out there. Certainly years ago the material was more slanted that way. It seems to have a shifted, or at least broadened, in recent years.
Certainly a problematic feedback loop!
-paltego
Do you know magic word or words you were using? Can you reproduce it and send me the problem comment? I thought I’d fixed all those issues, but maybe there has been some sort of rule update that has sneaked them back in again. I’ll be very annoyed if so.
Thanks for the heads-up.
-paltego
If I recall, my original reply contained the words f3md0m, d0m1n4tr1x, pr0n, and maybe a couple others.
Thanks. I can reproduce that. Some fucking stupid auto-update script has re-installed the screwed up filter, so now I have to dig through the files and try and figure out how to redo what I did last time. I really hate shitty software design. But thanks for the heads-up.
-paltego