There’s one comparison that always annoys me when the topic of kinky public play comes up. Inevitably someone will liken it to gay people kissing or holding hands in public. Which is a stupid comparison. The problem of straight people complaining about that isn’t the act itself, it’s the double standard. A valid act for one group can’t suddenly become perverted if a different group does it. That’s obviously not analogous to leading a semi-naked slave on a leash through a public space. Nobody else is doing it and it’s very different to a simple hug or a kiss.
On the flipside I think it’s important to be wary of the idea of pleasing everyone when it comes to public behavior. There’s often a framing that suggests people need to compromise so that everyone can enjoy the space and nobody is upset. That’s not a compromise. That’s using the lowest common denominator to set the standard. It makes everyone conform to the most conservative person in the room. A true compromise is when you’re annoying an equal number of people at either extreme. That’s when you know you’ve got it right.
I’ve no idea where these shots were taken, but I do like the mix of expressions in the second shot. If they were aiming for public humiliation I think they failed, as most people in the crowd look to be having a great time.
A question regarding the question of public d/s play: Perhaps the ethical question around taking kink public has to do with the high ethics of bdsm play rather than public morality? Without consent, there is no ssc. In public play, where otherwise uninvolved people become unwitting participants, consent is difficult, if not impossible.
Interesting thought. I think that it’s a tricky line to draw. I guess the question comes down to – when does someone become a participant? Obviously if someone is doing a scene and getting off on making random strangers uncomfortable, that’s a clear violation of consent. But what if there’s not intent to upset someone? Can that still violate consent? Or what if a small fraction of people are inadvertently upset? It’s an interesting area, but I think very fuzzy to define clearly.
Thanks for taking time to share thought. My third and final post was prompted by exactly this kind of discussion!
-paltego
Interesting picture. Seems like everyone in the front row is male. Maybe they’re waiting for their turn?
I hadn’t noticed that, but yes. It does look like the women there are all ‘whatever….’ and the men are all at the front with big smiles š
-paltego
I think those photos are from Union Square, in NYC.
I think you’re right about that. Certainly looks like it.
-paltego
It is a complicated topic. I guess we can all agree that grossly offensive behaviour in public is wrong but equally we should not allow standards to be set entirely by the most over-sensitive and prudish members of society.
I myself occasionally hear males disagreeing with women in public, answering back and refusing to do as they are told – all behaviour which frankly I find disgusting and incomprehensible, but I generally let it pass without comment, even when I am not wearing a gag under my mask. It takes all sorts, as they say.
I used to have a long-run relationship with a domme and her lesbian companion in which we would spend time together outside sessions. I recall being constantly terrified in public, which in retrospect is lovely. She was mostly quite subtle, though – little things like ordering for me in a restaurant without seeking my opinion. She did once turn when we were entering a restaurant, to slap my face hard without warning. It was an extraordinary shock but so quick – and I think the only witness was this teenage boy, who was just leaving the restaurant with his parents. I can still recall the horrified look on his face as our eyes met. Was that undue involvement of someone else in our play, without consent? Maybe. But I suspect he just thought I had the worst girlfriend in the world.
On the other hand, if it left him twisted and perverted, perhaps he reads this blog and can get in touch. Restaurant on the South bank of the Thames, near Tower Bridge, 2010 during the travel ban due to that Icelandic volcano? Guy in his 40s (then) getting slapped by a dark-haired lady who looked quite like Anne Hathaway (no, really, she did)? If that’s the origin of your kink, I can only apologise (or take credit) but I was the receiver not the originator of the slap.
Despite the fact I’m not at all into humiliation scenes, that face slap does sound kind of hot. It’s a nicely judged moment. Kinky if you know what’s going on, but just a very angry girlfriend if you don’t.
I’ve done a few external events (typically dinners) where the domme picked a moment to exert power. It’s definitely a real head spinner, even if there isn’t a slap to the face involved. They can pick their moment, but you’ve no idea that’s what they’re doing. Fun times!
-paltego