While I’d describe myself as both a submissive and a masochist, I’d always put my masochism before my submission. The D/s and power exchange components are a critical part of a scene for me, but it’s the pain that brings those elements into focus. I’m certainly not a service submissive. If you want something cleaned or tidied then I’ll be happy to hire you a housekeeper. I have better (for me) things to do.
As such, I’ve never made body worship a critical part of scenes I’ve done. This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy kissing a dominant woman’s feet, or ass, or indeed any part of her body that I’m allowed to touch. It can be a very pleasant experience, and one that helps achieve a certain initial head space. But it always struck me as a kind of BDSM foreplay. Nice to do if the domme wants to take the scene in that direction, but really just a happy bonus to the main event.
However, when playing with Domina Yuki last week, I discovered a quite new aspect of worship that made me view it in a very different light. We’d been doing some fairly intense pain play, whipping my back and then heavily torturing my nipples. As a result of this I was fairly deep in subspace, and feeling that wash of positive emotions I often get towards a dominant in that situation – gratitude, affection, caring, closeness, protection, etc. In the past this has often led me to thank the dominant, typically immediately after she’s done something particularly vicious to me. This has not been a rote thank-you, demanded as part of the scene, but an instinctive one, originating from my desire to acknowledge the emotions I’m feeling.
In this particular scenario, while experiencing these similar emotions, Mistress Yuki demanded that I kiss her ass. Suddenly, an act that was previously playful and erotic, had been transformed into something that was far more powerful. It created a physical manifestation of what I was feeling, and gave me an outlet for my emotions. Nothing at that moment was more important than those kisses and what they represented. She managed to create a perfect moment, intimacy mixed with submission, eroticism mixed with catharsis. I kissed and was profoundly grateful to do so.
I played with Domina Yuki a couple of months back and I had a similar experience to yours. At one point she had me gagged, hooded and tied spread eagle to the bed with nipple clamps on. The hood and the gagged prevented me from seeing or saying anything. Domina Yuki sat on my face positioning her anus right above my nostril. The way Domina Yuki sat on my head also blocked my most of my hearing, so I was pretty much deprived of all of my senses.
After a long period of teasing, Domina Yuki she took the nipple clamps off. The pain was intense. I struggled, but the bonds held me tight. I could not see or hear or feel anything but pain. Suddenly I smelt Domina Yuki’s anus. That aroma at at moment was like a lifeline to me. I remember thinking that it was my one connection to the real world, that if I could not smell it anymore, I would be lost in space. I breathe it in again and again as if my life depended on it.
I don’t know if Domina Yuki intended it that way, but for me it was the most perfect moment of BDSM play I had ever experienced.
Hi Leland,
It’s funny to think of the scent of someone’s ass being a lifeline to the world, but I know exactly what you mean.
I actually struggle when playing with hoods. I like the intensity of the feelings they can provoke, but sometimes the combination of bondage, sensory deprivation and pain can be too much of an overload for me. The best way I’ve found to deal with it is to picture the dominant in my mind and hold onto that image. Whatever happens I try and concentrate on my mental vision of her and use that to ground myself. It sounds like you were doing a similar thing, but with a slightly more tangible means of connection!
I’m glad you had as much fun with Domina Yuki as I did. It sounds like a very intense and moving session. And thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
– paltego