A few weeks ago I published a couple of posts on the subject of D/s dynamics in a pro-domme session (here and here). The second of those heavily referenced an earlier post by the Dishevelled Domina entitled ‘Power Exchange‘.
It stimulated a lengthy discussion, firstly in the comments and then secondly between the Dishevelled Domina and myself via email. That email discussion grew into a sprawling mini-epic that had a lot of interesting points but was far too enormous to easily share. We (mostly DD if I’m honest) then did some ruthless editing and produced a more digestible snack sized version of our conversation.
Even at snack size it’s still a pretty substantive discussion, and so I’ve published it on a separate page. If you were interested in my original posts, or the general topic of D/s and pro-dommes, I’d suggest taking a look. DD has also published the same discussion in a new post on her blog.
Hi Paltego:
Interesting discussion. I very much agree with your observation that being a client helped you better understand yourself and changed your internal wiring. It did for me as well. Also agree that being a client can help a man become a better sub. It helped me there as well.
Problem with these discussions is that they try to put a varied menu under a single category. There are many different kinds of clients as well as different kinds of Dommes. While the scripted session does exist I think most pros would much rather play with someone who simply lists interests, experience and limitations then turns the scene over to the her. That was my approach and I found it worked very well.
I hear what DD is saying about the difference between a personal romantic relationship and a professional one. While the two can sometimes share some similar aspects they are as different as apples and oranges. That said I prefer my friend Advo’s analogy that seeing a great prodomme is like eating a gourmet desert over DD’s comparison to Taco Bell. I suppose either could work though, depending on where you choose to dine! 😉
Hi hmp,
Absolutely agree where you talk about the difficulty in lumping everything together. As you say there are lots of different types of clients, lots of types of domme and lots of ways to construct a relationship between the two. Similarly, outside the professional realm, there’s a huge amount of variance. It really doesn’t make sense to simply talk about lifestyle v’s professional, as both those sides cover a huge amount of ground. That’s what I was trying to get when I said
I just want to sure the division isn’t seen as valid v’s non-valid or real v’s fake in someway. Certainly apples and oranges, but both are tasty things to eat!
-paltego