In my recent post entitled Discovery Femdom one of the commentors mentioned that he found narcissistic dommes to be very sexy (this comment by honestpower). That’s not one of my personal kinks, but I do kind of get it on an intellectual level. A lot of D/s service type activity focuses on putting the dominant on a pedestal and trying to make their life run as smoothly and as happily as possible. A narcissistic domme is just a continuation of that, where she puts herself at the center of her own attention. I suspect there are also elements of objectification and humiliation woven into the idea, with the domme putting herself forward as the only person worthy of any kind of attention.
Personally I tend to find narcissists annoying, but I couldn’t help thinking of that particular comment when I stumbled across these two images. I like the simplicity of the scene. There’s no fancy fetish gear or elaborate setting. Just some towels, a little bit of tubing and a woman getting ready in a bathroom. Despite the simplicity, they come across as excitingly severe. I particularly like her foot resting on his towel draped head in the first shot. I get the impression she dried herself with the towel and then simply drop it onto him.
I found these on the Perony bog. Unfortunately it seems to have been a blog that burst into life at the start of 2010 and then died before the end of that year.
Hi Paltego:
I can relate to this post. The pro I saw was the quintessential narcissist. It was hot in it’s way. Trouble is people like that tend to be kind of shallow. Still a beautiful narcissist who abuses her fawning slaves is certainly a recurring femdom theme.
I like the simple service oriented theme of these photos. Serving in a bathroom setting implies others acts of service that are not shown. Nice.
Hi hmp,
Shallow is definitely my problem with the narcissistic mindset. I don’t mind being ignored or objectified, but a focus purely on the self is normally a bad sign for me.
And yes, I agree about the bathroom setting. That normally gives a little extra edge to an image.
-paltego
Thanks for the post! Love the bathroom shots – good find!
Some thoughts regarding power exchange within a non-commercial D/s relationship, ie not working with pro dommes:
Shallowness is not my problem with narcissistic Dommes, because narcissists can actually be very learned and intelligent in addition to maximizing their outward appearance.
The danger/opportunity (dangertunity?) with narcissist Dommes is their lack of empathy. Lack of empathy is certainly a terrible trait for a Domme in that she won’t be intuitive about how to treat their sub, nor will she motivated to spend much energy learning how.
But lack of empathy has its Domme advantages, too. She won’t be too concerned about hurting you or using you, which cn be great for a certain type of sub (up to a point).
Narcissists tend to be quite immune to social conventions, especially in private.
Narcissists also enjoy being fawned over, a natural Domme trait.
So while a narcissist won’t be an ideal Domme (unless that’s exactly your kink) they can be a pretty close second if you are into service and objectification, especially if they are of the mindset that their performance and skill as a Domme enhances their overall self.
Narcissists can be workaholics and perfectionists for the same reason.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment. Hadn’t really analyzed it or understood it in that way before.
I do question the bit about not being concerned about hurting you. I’ve played with dommes who I think are very empathetic, and yet they’ve still really push upto and beyond my limits. I’m not sure you need a narcissistic domme for that. A good sadist will work just fine and, as you say, lack of empathy has its risks. But the other characteristics you raise are interesting. Sadly I’ve never experienced that kind of domme to really comment further.
Glad you enjoyed the bathroom shots. As I said in the post, as soon as I saw them I flashed back to your comment and thought I had to post them.
-paltego
Yes, that is a thoughtful comment – very insightful. I had a narcissistic girlfriend who played all sorts of subtle and not so subtle mind games aimed at making me feel small and worthless – she also took advantage of the fact that I enjoyed being submisive – especially in bed – playing mind games with my sexuality, letting me know she enjoyed abusing me, whilst trying to say I had a sexual hang-up, distancing herself from her own sadistic feelings, they didn’t fit in with her workaholic ‘wholesome’ facade, her coldness and self centredness was what made her such a good dominant – but there’s a limit to how much crap anyone can take, without real love and affection and a mutual exploration there’s nothing in it for you at all with a narcissist – you are just an object. By the way – even the workaholic thing is a load of crap – these people like to go on about how hard they work, but most of it is bluster and show, they don’t put real value into the work – they want to look good to be seen as perfect. Try contradicting a narcissist and wait for the anger and hostility to come spewing your way. I ca understand the attraction – she really turned me on! But that’s no way to live. Stay well away I say, for your own mental health!