Project manager

I’m afraid my blogging might be a bit erratic for the next few weeks. I have contractors in to do some remodeling work on my place. Unfortunately our work habits don’t mesh all that well. I like to stay up late drinking wine and writing. They like to turn up very early and hit things with hammers. Asking them to hammer quietly has so far not met with success. The end result is a grouchy paltego with not much time to write at night before he falls asleep.

What I really need is a take charge project manager who can get things done in half the time and a quarter the volume. The lady below looks like she wouldn’t take any nonsense when it came to civilized working hours.

BossThis is Yulia Kharlapanova shooting for Harper’s Bazaar.

Kinky Kitchen

While I’m on the topic of slightly odd kinky scenes in unusual places – here’s some rope bondage in the kitchen. Again, I’ve no idea what the idea behind this shot is but, unlike the last post, I do kind of like this scene. The smartly dressed guys and the play on the 50’s style housewife with a wink and a whip makes me smile.

Kinky KitchenI found this on the Gentle Mistress tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have any idea where it’s originally from.

Unusual centerpiece

I have no goddamn clue what’s going on here. There’s a guy with his head in the table, some pegging action in his rear, and a random group of people eating lunch. I like a bit of theater with my food, but I’m not sure sweaty anal action is the ideal accompaniment. Nobody should have to send a salad back because some santorum landed in the dressing.

OddPeggingI’m afraid I’ve no idea where this is from. Please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Updated: Thanks to Isa for pointing out this is a scene from kink.com’s Upper Floor site and that it’s actually a F/f pair on the table rather than a F/m one. Apologies for the initial incorrect description, although I still stand by my original view that it’s a really weird set-up.

There’s always something new to learn

I thought that after years of writing this blog and hanging out on kinky sites, that I’d seen pretty much every kink there was. In hindsight that seems somewhat naive, given the complexity of human sexuality. For example, I’d never heard of a kink based on being a human statue, yet here we have it. Given I’ve featured people being lamps in the past, I guess being a statue isn’t so strange. If you’re into CFNM and mental bondage then it makes some sort of sense.

I used to think that cleaning up after hot wax play was the most annoying post-session chore, but this body paint is probably worse. At least he’s indoors and doesn’t have to worry about pigeons.

Statue1I found this shot at the Brat Princess tumblr (you can see another shot from the same scene here). There’s no watermark, but I assume it’s from the original Brat Princess site.

Romance

I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s day. Whether I’m single or dating, I’ve always thought it was a silly artificial holiday. Although possibly that attitude might explain why I am currently single. Anyway, whatever my romantic failings, if you’ve come here looking for a post featuring cupids, hearts and submissives bearing chocolates, then you’ve come to the wrong place. Instead let me offer you something much more interesting – Lobster Fucking.

I guess I should clarify that I mean lobsters fucking lobsters, not any kind of perverse cross-species relationships. There are limits to how kinky I’m willing to go. As this article makes clear, how lobsters get it on is fascinating. Their courtship last days, features tease and denial, a seductive female and copious amounts of piss play. Appropriately enough, for a blog like this one, it’s most the female pissing on the male to grab his attention. That’s an approach that would certain liven up the typical romantic restaurant on Valentine’s night.

Oddly enough, there’s isn’t a lot of femdom imagery featuring lobsters. Or crustacean of any kind. So instead I’ve gone with the watersports angle. This artwork is by Namio Harukawa. It’s a little subtler than some of his other piss play pictures, but given where the man’s head is, I think we all know what’s going on.

Toilet

Hotness

Here’s a great example of a hot image that completely avoids the porn-y stereotypes. There’s nobody in fetish gear, no sneering and no surgically enhanced models. There’s not even any standard BDSM equipment in sight. Yet his kneeling and hand position give a strong D/s vibe, while their kiss and his obvious arousal communicate the intimacy of the moment. I’ve no idea what kind of scene is about the play out, but it looks like it’ll be a fun one.

KneelingI found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Sleepy Paul

Here’s my final celebrity themed post for the moment. This time it’s Paul Giamatti and the incident in question is a fictional one from his latest showtime series Billions. He plays a kinky attorney who enjoys being dominated by his wife (played by Maggie Siff). I personally haven’t watched it but, according to this article, it sounds like they’re treating the kinky dynamic in a more mature and respectful fashion than usual. Normally a domme is just thrown in mid-season to spice a series up and provide an excuse to feature a hot woman in leather.

You can watch the opening scene from the series here. There’s bondage, torture and the strong suggestion of a golden shower. Not exactly your standard opening to a Wall Street drama. I was also amused to read that Paul Giamatti was tied up by a specialist rigger and reacted by falling asleep. That’s not a rare reaction to bondage, as it can create a soothing and protected sensation. However, I wouldn’t have expected an actor dealing with a script and a film crew to have responded quite so strongly to the bondage.

MaggieSiffDommeYou can see an extended version of the above image in animated gif form here.

Don’t be scared Kanye

I’m continuing the celebrity theme – moving from Beyonce to Kanye West. In one recent silly and pointless twitter feud (is there any other kind?) he was accused of enjoying ass play, a claim which he firmly denied. So amazingly dumb was the whole thing it made Jenny McCarthy look like the smart one. That’s not a phrase I ever thought I’d find myself writing.

If he genuinely keeps partners ‘away from that whole area’ then he’s really missing out. Ass play can be a lot of fun. But I suspect Kanye knows that already. Shame he couldn’t own up to it.

Ass play artwork by Yumine GuoImage is by the brilliant and talented Yumine Guo. The original, inspired by the artwork of Junji Ito, can be found here.