Romance

I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s day. Whether I’m single or dating, I’ve always thought it was a silly artificial holiday. Although possibly that attitude might explain why I am currently single. Anyway, whatever my romantic failings, if you’ve come here looking for a post featuring cupids, hearts and submissives bearing chocolates, then you’ve come to the wrong place. Instead let me offer you something much more interesting – Lobster Fucking.

I guess I should clarify that I mean lobsters fucking lobsters, not any kind of perverse cross-species relationships. There are limits to how kinky I’m willing to go. As this article makes clear, how lobsters get it on is fascinating. Their courtship last days, features tease and denial, a seductive female and copious amounts of piss play. Appropriately enough, for a blog like this one, it’s most the female pissing on the male to grab his attention. That’s an approach that would certain liven up the typical romantic restaurant on Valentine’s night.

Oddly enough, there’s isn’t a lot of femdom imagery featuring lobsters. Or crustacean of any kind. So instead I’ve gone with the watersports angle. This artwork is by Namio Harukawa. It’s a little subtler than some of his other piss play pictures, but given where the man’s head is, I think we all know what’s going on.

Toilet

Hotness

Here’s a great example of a hot image that completely avoids the porn-y stereotypes. There’s nobody in fetish gear, no sneering and no surgically enhanced models. There’s not even any standard BDSM equipment in sight. Yet his kneeling and hand position give a strong D/s vibe, while their kiss and his obvious arousal communicate the intimacy of the moment. I’ve no idea what kind of scene is about the play out, but it looks like it’ll be a fun one.

KneelingI found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Sleepy Paul

Here’s my final celebrity themed post for the moment. This time it’s Paul Giamatti and the incident in question is a fictional one from his latest showtime series Billions. He plays a kinky attorney who enjoys being dominated by his wife (played by Maggie Siff). I personally haven’t watched it but, according to this article, it sounds like they’re treating the kinky dynamic in a more mature and respectful fashion than usual. Normally a domme is just thrown in mid-season to spice a series up and provide an excuse to feature a hot woman in leather.

You can watch the opening scene from the series here. There’s bondage, torture and the strong suggestion of a golden shower. Not exactly your standard opening to a Wall Street drama. I was also amused to read that Paul Giamatti was tied up by a specialist rigger and reacted by falling asleep. That’s not a rare reaction to bondage, as it can create a soothing and protected sensation. However, I wouldn’t have expected an actor dealing with a script and a film crew to have responded quite so strongly to the bondage.

MaggieSiffDommeYou can see an extended version of the above image in animated gif form here.

Don’t be scared Kanye

I’m continuing the celebrity theme – moving from Beyonce to Kanye West. In one recent silly and pointless twitter feud (is there any other kind?) he was accused of enjoying ass play, a claim which he firmly denied. So amazingly dumb was the whole thing it made Jenny McCarthy look like the smart one. That’s not a phrase I ever thought I’d find myself writing.

If he genuinely keeps partners ‘away from that whole area’ then he’s really missing out. Ass play can be a lot of fun. But I suspect Kanye knows that already. Shame he couldn’t own up to it.

Ass play artwork by Yumine GuoImage is by the brilliant and talented Yumine Guo. The original, inspired by the artwork of Junji Ito, can be found here.

Game highlights

Superbowl 50 was played at the weekend. If you live in the US it’s an event that’s hard to avoid. It’s part of the culture here, like turkey on Thanksgivings and fireworks on the 4th of July. The game was poor, which isn’t unusual. The halftime show also mostly sucked, thanks to the worlds most boring band – Coldplay. Appropriately enough, in a male dominated event, the only redeeming bits of the whole experience were provided by two women. Lady Gaga did a great version of the National Anthem and Beyonce rescued the halftime show.

Normally, none of this would be relevant to a blog like this one. However, I couldn’t let Beyonce’s outfit and her backing dancers pass without comment. They looked like 70’s revolutionaries if they’d been cast for an exploitation action movie and dressed by Helmut Newton. I thought they were brilliant, both in terms of their fetishistic look and their routine. Obviously there was a political element to it, with reference to the Black Power Salute and Black Lives matter. It also pissed off some assholes, so that was another added bonus. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if they’d invaded the stage and beaten the crap out of the guys in Coldplay. That’s a Superbowl show that would have been worth the ticket price.

Beyonce Backing Dancers

Helpful suspension hints

If you’re interested in playing with suspension, them this article is worth a read. It does a good job of laying out the factors to consider and the associated risks.

Personally I found suspension interesting to try out, but it has a low endorphin to time spent ratio. It looks cool, and it’s fun when you finally get it right, but there’s a lot of faffing around required. If you’re purely looking for sensation rather than aesthetics, them swings achieve a similar rush at lower cost.

Suspension BondageI’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this artwork. It looks like it has been trimmed on the top and bottom, but I can’t track down a larger version. If anyone can point me at an alternative version or the artist then please leave a comment.

A Royal Warrant

Cheap and cheesy BDSM kits are nothing new. They pop up in sex shops all the time, typically with some weak restraints, a blindfold and a limp flogger. A new kit called ‘Prince and I’ may not improve much on the typical contents, but the marketing is at least innovative. Not many sex toys get associated with royalty, but Vegas domme Carrie Royale has managed to turn 15 minutes of fame into a sales gimmick and tabloid headlines. I’m sure the Buckingham Palace lawyers are putting together the ‘cease and desist’ letters at this very minute, but personally I’m a fan of her approach. The British royal family is an expensive waste of space. The least they can do is provide some valuable marketing material for a domme with a good eye for publicity.

One other thing in common between royalty and dommes (at least of the professional kind) is the love of a good throne. They crop up in dungeons and femdom porn all the time. Here’s Mistress Ella Kross in a particularly ornate one. While a throne may be common, not many dommes can boast a battle axe on the wall behind it.

EllaKrossI should add that the idea of using royalty to sell products is certainly not a new one. It might seem anachronistic but lots of British products carry a Royal Warrant, meaning that they’re supplied to a royal personage. The bottle of HP sauce in my cupboard has the fact that it’s “By appointment to Her Majesty the Queen” emblazoned around its neck. In the list of goods carrying the British Royal family warrant the only sexual one I can find is for lingerie. Dungeon furniture and torture equipment would actually be appropriate for an old aristocratic family, but sadly I don’t see any of that.

Asexual sex

Cosmopolitan hasn’t got a great track record on sex articles. Occasionally however it does put up something interesting. The latest example of this would be an article on asexuality – ‘Can You Be Asexual, but Also Enjoy Kink?‘

It’s better than there usual silly sex advice, and treats the subject seriously. That said, I find it odd the way it describes the intersection of kink and asexuality. It seems to treat ‘sex’ as a synonym for PIV/oral/anal and BDSM as something quite distinct from that. Asexuality is therefore cast as a lack of interest in the former (since that’s ‘sex’), but not the latter. What I know about asexuality you could probably write on the back of postage stamp, but this seems kind of odd to me.

I’ve had a lot of intense kinky fun that didn’t resemble regular vaginal/anal/oral sex. Some of that kinky fun resulted in orgasms and some didn’t, but all of it felt sexual to me. It might not have looked much like sex to any observer hiding under the spanking bench, but it was certainly plugging into my sexual circuits. Of course, that’s a personal perspective. I’m not claiming everyone experiences kink in the same way. But I’d be interested to know how many people enjoy D/s or BDSM and feel it doesn’t connect some,how to their sexual wiring, no matter how unusually configured that wiring is. Is someone asexual if they exclusively prefer BDSM as way to express their sexuality? Alternatively, how many people enjoy BDSM in a non-sexual way?

Dude In DistressHere’s someone from Dudes in Distress enjoying some kinky distress. It might not look like sex to most observers, but if I was in that position it’d definitely be pushing a lot of my internal sexual buttons.

Getting Physical

I don’t normally like my femdom mixed with wrestling or similar types of forceful domination. I understand the appeal of being physically overpowered, but if I have to be beaten down to do something, it doesn’t work for me. I like to do what I’m told, even if it’s going to be painful. In fact, especially if it’s going to be painful.

On the other hand, this image is all sorts of hot. I think it’s the look on her face. She’s in control and also just a little amused by him.

GettingPhysicalThis bout is titled Antscha Vs. Imi and is from the Dirty Wrestling Pit site. I found it via the Alternative Femdom tumblr.