The epicenter of heels

I was out shopping and dining in Beverly Hills today. It’s a shame I’m not a high heel fetishist, because I think the fashion district here might have more women wearing higher heels than anywhere else in the US. I’m used to seeing them worn at night in restaurants or outside clubs, but not so much by women popping out to get a quick coffee at the corner Starbucks. I’d also suggest that if you’ve a thing for well dressed women in heels looking bored and slightly disdainful while spending obscene amounts of money, then Rodeo Drive is your place to go.

Heels

Slacking off

Apologies for the slightly erratic posting schedule in the last few days. I’ve been slacking off on vacation down in Los Angeles. Indulging in good food, nice weather and kinky fun might make for a good vacation, but it doesn’t lend itself to blogging. I’ll try and make amends when I return. I might even be able to report on my kinky shenanigans. In the meantime I’ll leave you with this fun image to enjoy.

Dave B artwork
I believe the artist for this goes under the handle Dave B. I’m afraid I can’t track down an artist site. I found this on the Geek Domme tumblr.

Big tech and adult content

The recent decision by Google to ban blogs featuring sexually explicit images/video or graphic nudity continues to reverberate around the blogsphere. While in theory text only explicit blogs are safe, but how long would you like to bet on that lasting? If they can change the rules once, they can do it again and probably will.

Over time Google has clearly got more conservative and less idealistic. Their image search is another good example of that. For example, assuming you have safe search off, compare a search for the lovely Mistress T on Google and Bing. Google barely features her in the results where Bing features a bare her from every angle imaginable. CBT on Google is a lot of powerpoint slides, where on Bing it’s wall to wall penises. My favorite is probably Men in Pain. On Google it’s a lot of stock photos of guys with headaches where on Bing it’s all sorts of good femdom stuff. This kind of conservatism is an expression of Google’s current culture.

They’re not alone in this. Apple has consistently run into bad press for censorship. Facebook recently got into trouble for it’s policy of blocking drag performers from their platform, and has many previous censorship problems. Amazon seems to run into censorship questions every few months.

What I find fascinating (outside my annoyance at the outcome) is how these kind of decisions are taken. The external perception of large tech companies is of corporate monoliths, but the reality is that very few people will be involved with these kind of decisions. I’ll also bet that they’re not taken at a particularly high level. A few product managers get into a room and make a bad call based on very limited information. They end up affected millions of people, but they’re not some grand expression of corporate will taken by cigar smoking board members. They’re a corporate culture filtered through a few people.

I had difficulty picking an image for this post until I stumbled on the shot below. It seemed apt.

GoFuckYourself

Blogocalypse

Users of Google’s Blogger service just received a rather nasty surprise. From March 23rd they’re going to eliminate all adult blogs. If you purely have text content you might escape the purge, but almost all blogs I know and enjoy feature the occasional photograph or video clip (hmp, servitor, Victoria Vista, RedRump, etc.). That puts them directly in Google’s firing line. As Bacchus has written in the past the pornocalypse comes for us all.

It’s a horrible act of vandalism. There’s millions of pages of pages out there that people have poured millions of hours of work and thought into. Some fraction of them might get relocated, but huge chunks will be lost and all the links that have been established between sites will be trashed. In the past I’ve written sympathetically about how adult content gets treated in large technology companies. I often think it’s a lot of small bad decisions and subtle social pressures that leads to adult content getting treated as a second class citizen of the web. However, in this case it seems to be a single and deliberate decision. A particularly poor, thoughtless and cruel decision.

Of course the important thing to remember when you’re using a service like blogspot (or facebook, or gmail, or yahoo or any ‘free’ offering) is that you’re not the customer. You’re the product. And companies kill product lines all the time.

I’m sure many bloggers will be cursing the person responsible for this over the coming months. Perhaps it’ll help to imagine it’s the gentleman in the image below and he gets a stripe for every blog killed. This image is particularly suitable to feature here as I found it on the Femdom Times site, which has now been suspended for violating the WordPress TOS. Originally it’s from the Femme Fatale Films site.

FemmeFatale

Marie Claire talk to Ms Mona Rogers

If I was ever thinking of introducing a regular weekly feature, it’d probably be an interview with a dominatrix. These wouldn’t be interviews given by me I hasten to add. Just random interviews I find in the press. I could easily dig one out a week. They seem to be a common way for a mainstream publication to combine a human interest story with some salacious sex talk.

Since a certain movie came out I’ve seen dozens of examples, most of which I’ve ignored. However, I did like this one in (all of places) Marie Claire with the NYC domme Ms Mona Rogers. It’s informative, interesting and approaches the subject in a very positive way. I can imagine somebody reading it and wanting to learn more. It also features some excellent photographs by Kathryn Wirsing.

The image below is Ms Rogers taking her ease on a suitably positioned male. I don’t believe it was taken by Kathryn Wirsing, but unfortunately I don’t have an attribution for the photographer. If you’d like to see more of Ms Roger her professional website is here.

Ms Mona Rogers

Home Street Home

If you live in the Bay Area and are a fan of punk, you might want to check out a new musical entitled Home Street Home. As described in this SFWeekly article, it has been written by Fat Mike (of NOFX fame), Soma Snakeoil (his partner / domme) and Jeff Marx (compose of Avenue Q). As you might expect from a punk musical it features some challenging themes, including drug use, self-harm, prostitution and BDSM. On the musical side it’s blessed with members from punk bands like the Descendents, Lagwagon, No Use for a Name, Alkaline Trio, Dropkick Murphys, etc.

I’ve posted on Fat Mike previously, and commented positively on the refreshing and frank way he discusses his kinks. This article and the musical continue that trend. The chain that you can see Soma gripping in the image below is his collar, locked around his neck with a key that she carries.

The show runs at Z space in San Francisco from now until March 7th. I really hope it get’s an extended run so I can make it down there to see it myself.

Soma Snakeoil with Fat MikeShould your tastes not run to punk musicals but you’d like to see more of Soma Snakeoil, her professional site is here.

Stress and Submission

This is my last post (for a while at least) on the topic of the alpha submissive (previous posts are available here, here and here). I’m afraid I’m finishing with a bit of a rant.

You can guarantee that whenever this topic comes up somebody will start talking about powerful people having stressful jobs. They’ll talk about difficult decisions, the responsibility of power and how BDSM and submission is a way to temporarily escape from that. For example, here’s an Alternet article and a Psychology Today article making exactly that argument. This is, in my not particularly humble opinion, complete bullshit. Not the part about submission as escape, just all the rest of it.

You know what’s stressful? Juggling two minimum wage jobs to try and cover your rent. What’s a difficult decision? Trying to decide if you should wipe out your savings on a hospital visit. Responsibility is bringing up your children in a not so great neighborhood while your deadbeat ex stiffs you on child support payments. Forget the guy investing $100M for Goldman Sachs. Give him $100 in his personal checking account and see how he feels about that.

I’m lucky enough to have a well paid job now, but I grew up in a family with very little money. I remember the stress that any unexpected expense could generate. There was always an underlying anxiety that something would go wrong and we wouldn’t be able to deal with it. Money might not buy happiness, but it sure as hell takes the edge off unhappiness. It turns problems into inconveniences. And nobody needs a good beating to take their mind off an inconvenience.

I think society prefers to think about executive and finance jobs as being particularly stressful and responsible in order to justify their incredible salaries. In some cases they may well be worth those salaries. Steve Jobs probably was. Jeffrey Skilling probably wasn’t. But whatever their worth, when the biggest downside to a decision is that you might have to settle for a new Ferrari rather than that yacht you had your eye on, that’s not a stressful decision. If anyone needs BDSM to take a ‘breather from the growing burden on selfhood’ (to quote the Psychology Today article), it’s the guy trying to cheaply fix the transmission on the 13 year old Ford that he needs to get to work tomorrow.

Executive StressThis is Miss Davenshaw, a London based pro-domme. She specializes in roleplaying corporate scenarios. So if you fancy being taken in hand by a strict female executive, I suggest dropping her a line.

The alpha female submissive?

More ruminations follow on the often espoused theory that submissives are frequently thrusting, successful alpha types in daily life. I hadn’t intended to write quite so much about this, but the more I ponder it, the more flaws I see in it.

In my original post I used the expression ‘submissive people’, but that’s not really accurate. I almost never hear of female submissives described in this way. The powerful controlling person who needs to let go in the bedroom is always a man in a ‘stressful’ job. He needs to take a timeout and not be himself for a while. When it comes to female submissives the more common descriptions center around secret yearnings, a desire to be controlled and tapping into fantasies. It’s about giving in to her deep desire, rather than stepping outside of the self.

In other words male submission is being positioned as taking a break from the normal state of affairs, where female submission is about a desire to return to a more natural order. To me that says much more about the way society perceives gender and power dynamics than it does about the nature of submission. It’s fundamentally an inconsistent view motivated by the need to fit it into conventional structures.

Cute Collared SlaveThe cute slave in this image is doubtless getting in touch with her inner desire for submission. Of course if she was a man then this would have been shot in between power lunches and organizing leveraged buy-outs on Wall Street.

The original source for this is the Everyday Slave site. I found it via the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

A theory revisited

I had a lot of interesting comments to my post from a few days ago entitled ‘The Alpha Submissive‘. Sadly nobody had any hard data on the dubious theory that male submissives tends to be successful alpha types in daily life so, as usual, I’m going to be forced to make stuff up as I go along. With that proviso in mind, I thought I’d revisit the topic over the next few posts.

One point I should have made clear is that I’m not suggesting the contrary theory of submissives being particularly unsuccessful. I just suspect that the two factors are uncorrelated with career success, in much the same way that other sexual preferences appear to be.

Most comments agreed with me that the clients of pro-dommes are a skewed and unrepresentative sample set. However, I think it’s a mistake to assume that they’re an entirely uniform crowd of overpaid middle aged guys. When writing the original post I was put in mind of this article on two NYC pro-dommes. One of the dommes comes across as a scammer, and a great advertisement for doing your research before meeting anyone. The other is a real professional with a variety of clients.

Jesse, a 58-year-old transit worker, is probably her favorite; they often meet and chat about school and work before sessions. He even gets a discount from Georgia, who knows he’s strapped financially. “Every paycheck, I take a little bit of money out and put it in an envelope,” he says.

From the article Jesse sounds like a nice guy, but I doubt he’s the kind of person most people think of when they think of a pro-domme client.

Man in TensionI’m once again slightly stumped on what image I should feature for this post, so I’ll just go with something visually appealing from Men in Pain. I found this via the Classy Femdom tumblr.