I was lucky enough to get to play with Domina Yuki today. She’s a very talented domme and as usual it was a great session with lots of groans, screams and whimpers. I can only hope the soundproofing in our playspace was good.
One thing I found particularly interesting was my emotional reaction to a whipping. I was lying face down on padded bench to receive it, looking to one side as she hit me with a heavy leather whip. To start with I was looking directly at her and the whipping felt incredibly intimate. Our only contact was the strands of the whip, and yet it felt like a caress. As others might feel about an intimate hug or a kiss, I felt about watching her swing this whip against me. It was almost a sexual experience.
After a number of strokes she moved around to my other side, where I couldn’t see her, and that changed the dynamic dramatically. Suddenly it was a challenge. I had to focus inside of myself and push through. The endorphins continued to flow but rather than being in an intimate situation I felt objectified. I could no longer project my feelings towards her and had to turn inward instead. I’m sure the strength of the blows were no different, yet they felt harder.
In hindsight the experience was a fascinating insight into the role of the brain in modifying pain and the way we can contextualize powerful sensations. It was almost a childlike reaction – sadistic peak-a-boo. Intellectually I always knew I was being hit by Mistress Yuki, but only when I could see her did it take on a different meaning.
