Femdom Resource – Page 185 – The beauty of dominant women

Spanking Therapy

When I first saw this Jay Em image I just figured it’d be an amusing one to feature in my series of medical themed posts. The above post title then flowed pretty naturally from the subject matter. However, no sooner than I’d written the title than the thought struck me – “I bet that’s a real thing. Spanking Therapy. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing that somebody would offer.”

It turns out I was right. In fact it’s available from multiple sources. There’s the Spanking for Wellness site, that offers therapeutic spanking in a non-sexual atmosphere. There’s the Spanking Therapist who combines ‘supportive counseling with a structured spanking plan’. For those in NYC, there’s the NY Spank Clinic which offers to help with stressful and emotional difficulties in life. For those wanting a little more discipline with their therapy, there’s Ms. Aria who offers to ‘help people who need assistance breaking habits, changing their behavior, resolving issues, achieving goals, or simply letting go of tension.’ And those were just the ones I found in a few minutes searching.

Personally I’m more a fan of the playful and sexual side of spanking. But for those who want to combine personal growth with heavy blows to the buttocks, it’s nice to know their are options out there.

Happiness and avoiding the ER

I’m very happy as I got to play with Lydia tonight. After my recent posts on medical issues and kink, I did have a fleeting thought that the Gods of coincidence and comedy might choose to screw with me, and target me for an emergency room trip. Fortunately Lydia is far too talented and careful for that to happen, so I got to enjoy some sensory deprivation and heavy bondage with no ill effects.

I’ve joked with dommes in the past that if I do wind up in ER, I’m going to be the one moaning quietly to myself on a hospital trolley, while they’ll be out front explaining exactly what perverse sexual practices landed us there. However, I also have a mental picture of it playing out like the overdose scene in trainspotting. I’d get poured into a cab with a twenty in my top pocket, and end up unconscious in front of the local ER. That would be a terrible way to end a session, but great fodder for an X-rated Bob Newhart* style comedy sketch. I picture a calm but slight puzzled doctor phoning my next-of-kin to try and figure out how he should diagnose a naked and collared man with an electrified buttplug at one end and a dreamy smile at the other.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with the gentleman in this picture, but at least he has no shortage of helpful nurses to try and diagnose the issue. Unfortunately I don’t have a source for the image

* If you’re unaware of Bob Newhart’s comedy then I’d suggest checking out his sketch Defusing a Bomb. That should give you a good idea of what you’ve been missing.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news

Writing about kink and doctors in yesterday’s post reminded me of an old Max Fisch thread that describes an amazing medical story. It starts with two members of Max’s forum attending a play party. They don’t know each other at all, either in real life or online, and just happen to be at the same event. It ends with one, a doctor, saving the other’s life. And not in a vague ‘that activity looks risky’ way, but in an urgent ‘blood clot in the brain’ way. It’s a cool story and well worth reading. I don’t think the problem arose directly because of kink, but it was certainly lucky that a kinky doctor was around. If you follow the thread to page 2 you can also read her response to the thread (post from SurferDoc).

The medical professional in the image below doesn’t look quite as conscientious or caring as SurferDoc proved to be. I’m not exactly sure what she’s up to, but it doesn’t look good for our helpless and immobilized hero.

I’ve not run across this image before. From the image name it would appear to be an Eric Stanton drawing, and it does look a bit like his style.

Tell me where it hurts

Kink and fantasy medial scenes are a pretty natural pairing. Kink and actual medical professionals can be a bit more problematic. The Daily Beast has a good article on that topic entitled ‘Coming out kinky to your Doctor, in Black and Blue‘. It covers some of the risks and dilemmas involved in sharing exactly where that bruise or rope burn came from.

Personally if there was ever an issue I needed to discuss, or I was directly questioned about it, I’d be open with my doctor. After all if I’m willing to share my kinks with a professional dominatrix, why not a medical professional? I also assume that doctors see unusual stuff all the time, and whatever I’ve done is going to be old news to them. I once spent an instructive few hours browsing a forum for medical interns. They were sharing crazy stories from the emergency room, and it was pretty clear that whatever kinky shenanigans I got up to, it was never going to top what the average trainee doctor sees on a regular basis.

Of course I’m lucky. I have good healthcare, live in a liberal city and have a wide choice of doctors. If my choices were more limited I’d perhaps feel differently.

The image is of the wonderful Eleise De Lacy of Femme Fatale Films.

Missing her dog

This lovely young lady appears to have misplaced her dog. She’s got the travel crate for it, but no pooch. Judging by the size of the crate and the big chain on the door, it must be a fearsome beast. Hopefully they’ll be reunited before too long and he won’t be in too much trouble.

There’s no watermark on this, but I’d guess it’s from the Rinryu site (warning contains some scat content).

Fall has arrived

The weather in Seattle seems to have finally turned. Warm summer days lingered into October, but the cold and the rain is now with us. The leaves are definitely falling, and it seems only appropriate to mark the occasion with an autumnal photograph. She has a lovely outfit, although his looks like it might be a little chilly.

If you’d like to see some more fetish focused fall shots, including a couple more from the above sequence, then I’d recommend this post from hmp.

Lacking all reason

My previous post featured what I thought was a good article on the positive side of mixing discussion, consent and sex. Today’s post brings you the flipside – a really stupid post on sex and consent. Other bloggers may aim to bring you only good things; I like to go with more of a harmonious yin and yang approach.

The article is (ironically) from Reason magazine and is entitled ‘California’s Sexual Consent Law Will Ruin Good Sex for Women‘. It was prompted by the recent ‘Yes means Yes‘ law passed in California, which aims to shift the emphasis in colleges from an assumption of consent to a need to actively gain consent. There’s an interesting discussion to be had about that law, but the Reason article by Shikha Dalmia certainly isn’t it. The bit that really irked me was this…

…there is usually a difference in tempo between men and women, with women generally requiring more “convincing.” And someone who requires convincing is not yet in a position to offer “affirmative” much less “enthusiastic” consent. That doesn’t mean that the final experience is unsatisfying — but it does mean that initially one has to be coaxed out of one’s comfort zone. Affirmative consent would criminalize that.
The reality is that much of sex is not consensual — but it is also not non-consensual. It resides in a gray area in between, where sexual experimentation and discovery happen.

I’m going to resist the temptation to draw conclusions about Shikha Dalmia’s sex life based on this. I can say it’s pretty piss poor logic with no apparent understanding of what consent means.

One of the great things that exploring kink has done for me is helped me to discuss and negotiate sexual activity. If you grow up watching sex in movies (both mainstream and porn) you get the impression that great sex just happens automatically. One minute the cynical private eye is trading witty barbs and smouldering looks with his femme fatale client, the next minute, just after she’s tried to slap him, they’re having amazing sex without so much as a yes, no or maybe. In reality experimentation, and the discussion that must go along with it, makes everything better. I’ve never yet had a mutual fantasy ruined by talking about it. I’ve had plenty of experiences where misunderstanding and a lack of communication definitely made things worse.

Hopefully the gentleman in this image got all his discussion out of the way up front, as his current options look decidedly limited. The image is of course from Divine Bitches.

Enthusiastic consent

Gawker has published one of the better articles I’ve seen recently in the mainstream press on sex and kink. Entitled ‘Vanilla Sex: A Perfectly Fine Way to Fuck‘ its message was to avoid trying to categorize sex and instead concentrate on discussion. What matters is what you and your partner(s) want, not some arbitrary definition of normality. It finishes with fine advice applicable to almost any sexual situation…

And that, I think, is what’s missing from vanilla sex. Rather than trying to “spice up” your love life with imported sexual practices that don’t fit your tastes, why not borrow kink culture’s emphasis on dialogue and enthusiastic consent? The hottest move your sex life can steal from kink isn’t handcuffs, it’s discussion
From a Gawker article by Monica Heisey

It’s tricky to pick an image to represent the concept of enthusiastic consent, so here’s a couple who at least look happy and enthusiastic about what they’re doing. Plus, if you’re going to do breathplay like this, consent is pretty important.

This is from the Hom Smother site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Art and reality

One of the things I enjoy about erotic artwork is its ability to portray the strange and fantastic. Artists like Sardax, Namio Harukawa and Augustine do a wonderful job of capturing the extremes of sexual fantasies in a way that still connects with people. Yet the thing I like most about the piece below is it’s realism. I don’t mean that in the visual sense – it’s clearly not a hyperrealistic drawing – but in the mood and style of play it captures. It feels like a moment from a scene I might do or have done. There’s no crazy bondage positions, massive strap-ons or extreme outfits. Just some rope, clothespins and a nice sense of intimacy and connection.

The artist is Tingos and you can see more of his work on his tumblr. I found it via the Lunar Black tumblr.

Put him in the uncomfortable chair!

Here’s my final post of what has turned into a trio featuring male rope bondage. This one shows Bobbi Starr making unconventional but effective use of a chair. Whatever she has in mind for him, it’s a great position for access to all the interesting areas.

This is from the Men in Pain site.