Femdom Resource – Page 257 – The beauty of dominant women

First date

I hate first dates. Not dating itself. Just the starting part. I dislike the carefully choreographed dance of over-thought emails needed to set-up a suitable meeting. I worry about how and if I should slide the topic of kink into the conversation. The cynical mathematician living in my brain computes the worldwide ratio of first dates to successful relationships and whispers that I’m probably wasting my time. Most of all, I hate the uncertainty of the end. Do we hug, kiss or fuck? Seeing as I’m British I sometimes settle for shaking hands, which might help explain why I’m still single.

I need to meet up with a few more ladies like the one in the drawing by Rodzo below. The man might not be all that comfortable. The whip might be painful. Oxygen could start to be an issue. But at least he doesn’t have to worry about that awkward moment on her doorstep at the end of the evening.

Wanted: Mänskliga Fotpall

Yesterday I received one of the more unusual comments I’ve ever had. It was from a Sandra Lindqvist, a researcher for a Swedish TV company, looking to find people to help them with a documentary.

We are currently working on a documentary series called “Fråga Olle-dokumentären” (“Ask Olle about sex – documentary”) about sex, love and relationships for Swedish Channel 5
…
One topic we would like to cover in our documentary is ”Human Furniture” – Forniphilia
…
I was wondering if you know any Mistresses or just some people that are practicing this? We are going to UK next Wednesday for a couple of days and we really want to meet and do a segment with someone about this when we are there.

Given I haven’t visited Sweden in years, and don’t speak the language, I’ve unsurprisingly never heard of the series. I’m guessing that this is the homepage for it. And while I have featured forniphilia a few times in the past, I wouldn’t describe it as a major kink of mine. The fantasy is kind of fun, but I suspect I’d quickly get bored of the reality.

Anyway, if you’re in the UK (or I assume Sweden), into forniphilia at all and feel you could help out, then I suggest giving Sandra an email. The only forniphilia experts I know of offhand are House of Gord, and they’re US based and maledom.

While I can’t help out directly, the comment does at least give me an excuse to feature a couple of interesting images on the theme. The first features Mistress Alex combining public humiliation, objectification and the morning paper. The second is by David Blázquezz, one of a series of similar images he shot for an exhibition. The shelving construction in the series is particularly impressive.

Loving submissive men

I was browsing the blog ‘Tits and Sass‘ over the weekend when I came across this article. If you’ve not encountered it before, the blog itself is run by sex workers and provides all sorts of commentary and links relevant to their industry. The article in question is by Paris Lee, a former dancer and cam girl, and describes her decision first to get and then to get rid of breast implants. It’s not at all femdom related and, although I found it interesting to read her perspective, I had no plans to blog about it. Until I read her short sign-off section…

Paris lives in Ohio and loves ferrets, dogs, and submissive men…

When I saw that it struck me just how unusual it was. Outside of dedicated D/s and BDSM blogs, I don’t think I’ve ever see that before. The article in question may have been related to sex work, but it had nothing to do with kink or submission. Paris just decided that loving submissive men was a fact about herself worth sticking in that brief biographical sign-off paragraph. I’m glad she did (and does), but it’s kind of depressing to realize just how surprising it was to see that sentence. I probably shouldn’t hold my breath to spot it in a match profile anytime soon.

I’ll leave you with a shot that might encourage more women to adopt a similar sentiment. He looks just so damn cute and perky. I hope she has a treat available if he behaves himself.

This image is originally from the CBT and Ballbusting site. I found it on the Femdom Archive tumblr.

Happy anniversary to me

I was so busy last week dealing with various travel and family issues I didn’t notice this site had reached its two year anniversary. The first post was September 23rd 2010. Since that time I’ve published 738 posts, received 1,607 approved comments and 10,520 spam ones. In the first month of the sites life I had a grand total of 153 unique visitors drop by. By way of contrast, just in the last month I saw 100,000 unique visitors come by for around 200,000 visits. I find those numbers pretty astonishing, particularly given the random nonsense from my brain that gets posted here every day.

When I started the site I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d get out of it or how long it’d last. I really just wanted an outlet for a side of myself that got very limited expression in my daily life. But what has really inspired me to keep the posts flowing is the interaction I’ve had with all my great kinky readers. I’ve received a fantastic collection of comments and emails from sources such as femdom artists, pro-dommes, equipment makers, BDSM writers, fellow bloggers and loads of people out there just looking for some kinky fun in their lives. So a big thank you to all my readers and everyone who I’ve interacted with over the past couple of years. You’ve made creating this site a real pleasure.

I’ll leave you with a suitably appropriate image from Kami Tora. It was done originally for the one year anniversary of his fan site. Hopefully he won’t object to its re-use here.

Triple threat

They say that problems come in threes. This image seems like a perfect illustration of that theory. I’m not sure exactly whose butt we’re looking at on the right, but it’s pretty clear he’s going to have three big incoming ‘problems’ pretty soon. Although they also say that every problem is also an opportunity. I can’t say I’d object to having to deal with these kind of opportunities.

TV Guide

I’m going to interpret my blog tagline – the beauty of dominant women – fairly liberally for this post. It’s not femdom related in the sexual sense, but it does relate very much to a strong dominant women. I’ve just spent an enjoyable evening re-watching the first few episodes of Prime Suspect starring Helen Mirren. It comes from a rich tradition of British crime series, which also includes such gems as Cracker and Wire in the Blood.

I have a love hate relationship with these kind of shows. I enjoy the genre and plot structure, but hate the sexual stereotypes they almost always portray. Sex workers are normally damaged powerless victims. The criminals are often sexually warped sadists whose only outlet is violent attacks. It’s certainly not a genre to look at for positive portrayals of BDSM. Despite that, the Prime Suspect series is redeemed by having the wonderful Helen Mirren in the leading role. She plays a strong no-nonsense female character who puts up with a lot of sexist bullshit from her colleagues while still figuring out the cases. It’s a real pleasure to watch such a talented actress sink her teeth into the role.

US TV has a tendency to remake and horribly screw-up British series. I’ve not seen the US version, but looking at some of the online video’s they seem to have repeated the trick here. What was a reserved and complex older female character, with a flinty inner core, has become a skirt-the-rules cop played by a conventionally attractive blonde with a classic in your face New York attitude. In other words, the same thing we’ve seen a million times before. The good news is that netflix has the original UK series available for streaming. I definitely recommend checking it out.

Photograph is of Helen Mirren from a Prime Suspect publicity shot. If you’re a fan of hers, then I also recommend watching Excalibur. It’s a brilliant version of the Arthurian legend featuring her in the role of Morgana.

Just a small prick…

Finally, to finish off this run of medically themed posts, a drawing from the great Namio Harukawa. A lot of his work is very explicit in its themes, but I like this one for it’s slightly more restrained approach. It could almost be a normal nurse/patient scene. Almost. He’s looking just a little too entranced with the curvy vision in front of him, and she’s not exactly maintaining her distance. Sure enough, in later shots, it gets a little more explicit.

Origins of a fetish

Yesterday’s post on the reality of medical facilities got me thinking about the origins of fetishes. Scott left a comment about his recent medical procedures and how unerotic they were, which aligns with my personal experiences of hospitals. Yet, the medical fetish seems to be a very popular one. I think that offers a great illustration of just how complex fetish origins can be.

Looking at ‘simple’ fetishes like feet, latex or stockings it’s tempting to come up with a very reductive explanation, involving just the right mixture of the item in question, a female figure of desire and an impressionable child. A suitable blend of positive elements and poof, fetish wiring imprinted into the brain. But how does a child subvert something as unpleasant as a hospital stay into an erotic charge later in life? That’s not an obvious ‘positive’ origin at all. One might guess that fear, female authority figures, clinical intimacy and a focus on the body all play a role. But it would seem impossible to boil it down to some sort of Pavlovian response to basic stimulus.

I’m not really a fetish person, but like a lot of areas of human sexuality, I do find them fascinating to ponder. They may manifest themselves in a similar fashion (fetishized+fetishist=fun), but their origins must be highly variable and complex.

This seems to be a suitable image to continue the medical femdom theme. I found it on the iHonorHer blog. I believe this is Stephanie Seymour from Vogue France in 1995.

Reality 1 Fantasy 0

I’m back in Seattle after a vacation packed with a little more incident than I was hoping for. My mother is in town from England for a few weeks and I thought I’d show her the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately she got a little too up close and personal with some of the beauty, after slipping and falling on the beach. Two days, two hospitals and many hours later, she was sporting a cast and couple of metal pins to hold a broken wrist bone in place. Not a great souvenir to bring back from vacation.

I have to say that if you ever want to cure somebody of a medical or nurse fetish, just make them spend time in some real medical establishments. I wasn’t the one being treated, but I did get to kill a lot of time just hanging around different bits of the hospitals. They’re horrible places. Beige and grey throughout, with drab utilitarian furniture, scuffed surfaces and condescending public service posters plastered everywhere. The only gleaming white and visually interesting places – like the ICU or operating theater – are the spots you’ll only experience in really bad situations when sexy fun time is definitely not in your thoughts.

The nurses varied from brusque and surly through to efficient and helpful. But none had me rushing out to fake up a minor injury to get treated. I saw more eye catching women in 10 minutes in downtown Vancouver than I did in 10 hours at nurse central. My favorite was the highly officious one who insisted on getting my agreement on the $600 initial fee before starting treatment. This while mom was moaning in pain and going into shock. I’m not sure what poor foreigners are supposed to do if they injure themselves in Canada. Just moan quietly and try not to bleed too much before they can get home?

Anyway, just because reality sucks, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the fantasy. Here’s an image from Peter Coulson featuring a nurse and patient depicted as many of us would wish them to be.

The ‘dominatrix’ in fashion

It seems that every week I see some fashion article extolling the ‘dominatrix’ look. It’s a regular part of the current fall fashion collections. The latest was this on the DSquared2 fashion show. Typically I steer away from cliched dominatrix shots. But if you’re going to shoot for that, at least do it properly. Every single ‘dominatrix’ fashion look so far has come across as very weak sauce. A pair of leather boots or a tight leather top does not equal dominatrix. If you’re going to do it, do it properly. The image below (courtesy of Fetish World tumblr) is a good example of the look done right. Boots. Corset. Jodhpurs. Crop. Stare. All check.