Young Love

When I saw this image I instantly thought of a post I’d seen from Cybill B Troy. In it she’d proffered an apology to her first boyfriend, a young man who probably didn’t realize quite what he was getting himself into. You can read the whole thing over here, but a little excerpt should give the general idea:

Started thinking about that first boyfriend of mine, that sweet sheltered boy, how long did it take him to realize that it probably it didn’t HAVE TO hurt, that it wasn’t exactly typical high-school fraternization to be watching Irene Boss videos after school while I tried to sneak a finger into his ass and see how far down his balls could stretch?

Of course for some of us that sounds like a magical high school romance, but for her first boyfriend, and the young man in the picture below, the magic is probably less obvious. You can’t see much of his expression in the image, but the wide eyed look tells me he’s probably having second thoughts about playing with anal beads. In contrast, she looks both intrigued and amused by the effect of her exciting new toy.

Young Love and Anal beads I’m afraid I don’t know the artist. I came across the image on the snail meilk femdom image board.

Hazardous Chemicals

Hazardous that is, if you’re a naked male in the presence of a sadistically inclined female. While the image might show what looks like a random shopping basket from someone visiting the produce and pharmacy aisles in QFE (which in point of fact is where they came from), it also shows the main components of a scene I did a few nights ago. At the back there’s icy hot and crystal hot sauce. The middle row has Bengay, a lime and a lemon. And at the front is wintergreen oil, cinnamon oil and ginger root. I think there was also some chili sauce that didn’t make it onto the photograph. Oh, and the knife? That was for scraping off the hot wax that somehow ended up getting dripped onto my already tender flesh.

Some conclusions that I came to after the scene were:

  1. Be careful what Bengay you buy. Some of them, including this one, have almost no effect.
  2. Icy hot on the other hand can be very intense, particularly if someone very carefully and methodically massages it into your scrotum for several minutes. Or dabs it onto nipple clamps before applying them.
  3. Lemon’s and limes are pretty mild on their own, but when combined with someone stabbing you with a needle to open up the skin, they can get pretty stimulating.
  4. Figging reminds me of bad experiences with hot curries in dodgy late night Indian takeaways. Not so much painful as just burning and uncomfortable.
  5. Crystal hot sauce is mildly painful on sensitive skin, but surprisingly tasty when applied to the mouth. I will be purchasing some to keep in the kitchen.

Oddly enough, after doing all sorts of suspension and impact play scenes in the past without problems, this was the one session that left me injured. I was clenching my muscles so tightly and for so long that I ended up pulling something in my lower back. Ironic really, given we were using a number of products originally designed for relieving muscle strains and pains.

Ingredients from chemical play session

Formative Images

Servitor at his ‘Contemplating the divine‘ blog recently ran a greatest hits post, where he reposted some of his favourite captioned images. In it he mentioned the important role Cruella had played in his sexual development and gave examples of some of favourite Cruella photographs. I share his feelings about the importance of the magazine during my earlier years, and his comment sent me scurrying back through my archives to see if I could track down any of the key images that I remembered.

It’s notable that after 15+ years I can still clearly remember dozens of great individual Cruella images. I don’t think there are any other image creators I can say that about. In the case of the image I’ve selected below I can remember first downloading it (I’m not sure if it was ever in their magazine) and being transfixed by it. I had no idea why, injections were certainly not something I fetishized, but it gripped me all the same. There’s just something about her expression, her stance and that needle that makes it work for me. It’s an image I’ve seen many times over the years, and it still gives me a shiver when I look at it.

Cruella image of mistress with syringe

My nipples explode with delight*

Ms Marie has a recent post soliciting options on nipple torture. Seeing as it is one of my favourite activities, I obviously had to write a lengthy comment as a response. And then, having done that, I felt a post of my own might be in order. It’s actually quite tricky to find a good image of male nipple torture. Probably because it’s less visual appealing than a lot of other activities like spanking or CBT. However, I did manage to track down the image below from the English Mansion site.

There’s actually a lot going on for the submissive here. There’s some scissor style nipple clamps, with a fancy ironwork stand to hold them in place. There’s various straps and cock bondage. And there’s a a hood and collar to keep his head firmly in place. But I suspect when she slides down to take her place on the queening chair, the one thing she’ll be playing with will be those big tempting clamps that look so easy to twist and pull.

Nipple Torture* For anyone who doesn’t get the title reference, hang your head in shame. This major gap in your comedic cultural knowledge can be rectified here.

Domme School

Vice magazine recently posted an article describing several days in the life of a NYC pro-domme. The purported set-up was one of their writers following the domme with a view to becoming a professional herself. But the actual format is much the same as it always is for these type of articles, offering readers a chance to look at someone else’s weird and twisted lifestyle.

I’m in two minds about the article itself. On one hand the writer seemed to enjoy herself, and it’s certainly not written from a negative point of view. Coming from something called ‘Vice magazine‘ that’s probably not unexpected. However, I find it hard to imagine a vanilla but potentially kinky person reading it and thinking “Yes, that sounds like something I want to get involved in.” There’s an undercurrent of sleaziness that comes through to me, although I struggle to put my finger on exactly why that is. Perhaps its comments like this one.

The whole scene makes me feel like I’m an actress in a really bad porno. It’s pretty cool.

Having a session that feels like a bad porno movie definitely doesn’t sound cool to me. And in fact, setting the tone of the article aside, the main thing that stood out for me was how incredibly different my sessions are from the ones described.  I don’t role-play at all, and my interactions with the domme are both lighter (chatting and joking in early parts of the session) and darker (floating in subspace after some intense pain later on). I also tend to involve a lot more equipment and tools, utilizing everything from simple needles and clamps through to custom dungeon furniture. The type of play in the article sound like a kind of sexual community theater. Where I always feel mine are more like a cross between extreme sports and medieval torture.

That contrast led me to two different conclusions. The first was that it’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming most people play in a way at least vaguely similar to your own preferences. I always get annoyed when non-kinky people pigeon-hole BDSM as simply leather, whips and chains, but I’m probably guilty of doing a similar thing at a different level. It’s easy to forget just how big the kink universe really is. The other conclusion was that a good pro-domme must posses an incredibly ability to shift quickly between different head spaces. I tend to think of the domme skill-set as being a highly technical one: How to do a rope suspension; how to wield a single tail; what’s a safe way to do cutting and piercing. I’m very aware of these kind of technical skills in each and every session. What I don’t see is the transition between sessions and the mental gymnastics needed to create new moods and session themes. Offhand it’s hard to think of another job that requires quite that level of versatility.

Feeding the dogImage is taken from page 5 of Vice Magazine article.

The beautiful armpit

When I first saw this image a number of thoughts immediately came to my mind. One was how much I love the scent of a women. Not the perfumed, deodorized and anesthetized scent that the cosmetics industry tries to sell. I mean the real natural earthy scent of an active female body. Another was an appreciation for the expression on his face. That look of relaxed contentment. But I have to admit, the first thought I had was of Stephen Colbert.

Stick with me on this. Weird I know, but I haven’t completely lost it. Earlier this week he did a cutting satirical piece on a new Dove product designed to solve a very serious problem that has plagued women for years – the truly hideous nature of their armpits. If you missed it, the clip is online here. Seeing this image a few days later just reinforced to me how screwed up the cosmetics industry can make people. And watching the Colbert clip again may have just given me a new fetish for licking ice cream from a woman’s armpit (like I need any more weird kinks).

Aeric Meridith Goujon ImageThe image comes from the Aeric Meredith-Goujon photography site, under the erotic portraits section. They have a large collection of really incredibly images. Some of the piercing ones caught my eye in particular. For example, I liked this one a lot.

Nikki Domino

I’ve posted in the past on the importance I place on eyes when shooting a close-up face shot. There’s that old cliche about them being the window into the soul, but like a lot of cliches, there’s a kernel of truth to it. More than any sneering expression, a woman’s eyes can convey a powerful impression of dominance, and nothing consistently pushes me into sub-space quicker than lengthy eye contact during an intense play session. I may also have occasionally mentioned, just in passing, only now and again, my attraction to dominant women in glasses. This particular images was therefore a show stopper (click cutter? browse blocker?) when I stumbled across it.

Close-up of Nikki DominoThe lady with the beautiful green eyes is Nikki Domino, a pro-domme based out of D.C. I found this particular image in her gallery page, and should you wish to see her with your own eyes, then her contact information is here.

What are you?

The terminology in BDSM is always a source of confusion for me, and in particular the labels people attach to themselves and each other. I remember joining fetlife and being stumped by the mutually exclusive set of options they provided. I think my choices included submissive, bottom, masochist, slave, fetishist and kinkster. I kind of get masochist and fetishist. But what’s the difference between submissive and bottom? Or submissive and slave? Where does kinkster fit in? And why are these mutually exclusive decisions? Can I not have an ‘All of the above’ option?

I was therefore happy to stumble on this post by the very knowledgeable Irene Boss which gives her thoughts on the definitions of these terms. From a personal perspective I also particularly enjoyed the following comment in the article.

It is not uncommon for me to bond (and become friends) with a submissive masochist who also digs bondage, which is the rarest and most enjoyable breed of client for me.

I think that combo of labels captures my particular predilections fairly well. So while I’m guessing it’s unlikely I’ll ever be friends with Irene Boss, it’s nice to know I might make an enjoyable client! Although I am a little surprised by the rarity, as she observes it, of that specific kinky wiring.

When it comes to the D side of the equation, there are an equally mixed set of labels: Dominant, Mistress (or Master), Top and Sadist. But it seems people feel a lot more relaxed about using these interchangeable, or at least that’s my impression. Sadist has a very clear and distinct definition, but the other three get used and swapped fairly freely. I wonder if that’s down to the existence of professional dominants, who are happy to blur their personal boundaries in order to work with a wide variety of clients. Or if it’s a natural outcome that flows from the attitude of a typical dominant personality. i.e. Less obsession with labels and less need to carefully categorize their preferences.

Of course none of this even touches on the idea of a switch, which adds a whole new dimension to the matrix!

So what are you? And do you think the label is useful or matters in anyway?

Mistress with SlaveAn illustration of a Mistress/Top/Dominant/Sadist/Kinkster/Fetishist with a Slave/Submissive/Bottom/Masochist/Fetishist/Kinkster (strike all that aren’t applicable depending on your preferences).

OK, so I’ll admit, the image doesn’t relate to much to the text. But I liked it and wanted some eye candy to end the post!