Public Play Concluded

Here’s my final post (for the moment) on the topic of public play.

One hard and bright line that’s often invoked is based on the idea of consent. Involving random strangers in your play without their consent is clearly violating some pretty basic BDSM norms. That’s a relatively easy call to make when it comes to physical or psychological involvement. If you’re getting off on strangers getting upset, then you’re getting off by violating their consent. A clear asshole move. But what happens when that’s not your intent, but people get upset anyway? At what point do you need to seek consent from someone?

This isn’t specifically a problem for kinky people. I was reminded of that when I spotted this story on some very well done but very gory Halloween decorations. As a kid, that front lawn scene would have traumatized the fuck out of me. I’d have had nightmares for months. Even now I find it unpleasant to look at closely. So at what point should that home owning Halloween fan have to seek the consent of his neighborhood? Or indeed the consent of anyone who might come down the public street outside his house? At what point should we constrain public freedom of expression? It clearly has to happen at some point, because there will always be someone who pushes a boundary to the breaking point.

I guess my bottom line is: Be wary of blanket statements or simple rules when it comes to public play. It’s always dependent on context and content. I think the leash scene from my original post was over the line, but the scene in the images in yesterdays post is completely fine. Yet it’s very hard to come up with a simple easily applied rule that separates the two.

This photograph represents the kind of ‘public’ play I could get behind. The feel of being outside and exposed, but a big closed door to keep the rest of the world out.

More Public Play

There’s one comparison that always annoys me when the topic of kinky public play comes up. Inevitably someone will liken it to gay people kissing or holding hands in public. Which is a stupid comparison. The problem of straight people complaining about that isn’t the act itself, it’s the double standard. A valid act for one group can’t suddenly become perverted if a different group does it. That’s obviously not analogous to leading a semi-naked slave on a leash through a public space. Nobody else is doing it and it’s very different to a simple hug or a kiss.

On the flipside I think it’s important to be wary of the idea of pleasing everyone when it comes to public behavior. There’s often a framing that suggests people need to compromise so that everyone can enjoy the space and nobody is upset. That’s not a compromise. That’s using the lowest common denominator to set the standard. It makes everyone conform to the most conservative person in the room. A true compromise is when you’re annoying an equal number of people at either extreme. That’s when you know you’ve got it right.

I’ve no idea where these shots were taken, but I do like the mix of expressions in the second shot. If they were aiming for public humiliation I think they failed, as most people in the crowd look to be having a great time.

Playing in Public

A scene featuring a domme leading her puppy submissive on a leash through a supermarket recently went viral on Twitter. If you missed the hoopla, then it was later covered on the Daily Dot. That article is at least 50% advertisements, but it does cover the basics of what happened pretty well.

I have thoughts to share, but no time right now to do so. In the meantime I’ll leave you with  this twitter thread on the topic, which I found surprising nuanced and thoughtful. It’s rare in social media to find a viral tweet trigger a construction discussion. In fact, let’s be honest. It’s rare is social media to find a constructive discussion at all.

Here’s a different example of kinky public play. At least I assume that’s what it is. It could just be the most obliging boyfriend ever. Or, even hotter, she’s texting her boyfriend and he’s just a supportive (quite literally) friend.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this. I fished it out from deep within my tumblr archive.

On Her Way to Work

Just a regular morning start for your typical busy dominatrix. On her way to work clutching her trusty single tail. Those slaves aren’t going to whip themselves.

I suspect the identity of this leather clad lady has been lost to history. All the references I could find simply say generic things like ‘vintage dominatrix’.  If you can help me attribute it then please leave me a comment. I’d love to rescue her from anonymity.

Theophilus, the dirty dog

For anyone who enjoys the coarser parts of history, I recommend this thread on the graffiti found in the Roman city of Pompeii.  As the author – Marina Amaral – points out, people really haven’t changed a bit. My particular favorite was this one…

“Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog”

It’s an intriguing mental image. I’m assuming it doesn’t mean that the dogs of Pompeii were particularly licky, but that Theophilus liked to get down on all fours to perform the act. An early Roman example of a submissive perhaps?

This photograph is by the Ukrainian photographer Ruslan Lobanov (deviant art, instagram and artlimited site). Hopefully, a million tons of hot ash isn’t about to engulf this particular couple.

Heartwarming

Somehow I missed this heartwarming story from back in May – Quarantine Leading To More People Taking In Foster Gimps. Quarantine has been tough on a lot of people, but it’s nice to know that many abandoned gimps  have found dungeons of their own. Remember, a gimps for life, not just for quarantine. Note: Main story starts about 1:40 into the audio segment.

Artwork is by Sleinad Flar. You can find his Deviant Art site here and his BDSMLR site here.

Small Changes

What is it about putting cuffs in a slightly different place that makes them so much hotter? Ankle and wrist cuffs are great, but there’s something so much more exciting about thigh and calf cuffs like these. It’s a similar story with toe bondage. Toes are small and fiddly to tie up. Objectively less efficient for anchoring someone in place. Yet it’s a very hot type of bondage. Is it simply the rarity value? Or is it the care and attention to detail that non-standard bondage suggests?

This is by the German artist Voizel, found via this tweet. They have a Patreon you can follow here.

She’s Not Impressed

I’m never sure if it’s a blessing or a curse to find hotness in odd situations. Am I blessed to have an extra source of pleasure? Or cursed to be weird and out-of-step with the world?

Take for example the images below from Sienna Hunter.  I spotted them via this tweet she shared with the comment…

When he says he’s glad you didn’t dress in a sexy manner for the virtual date so he can focus on his thoughts

Now obviously she’s poking fun at a self-involved man with his foot very firmly lodged in his mouth. Also obviously, from what I can see, that is a very sexy outfit. However, I’m also blessed/cursed to find those expressions all sorts of hotness. It’s a heady blend of  bored, skeptical and “what kind of grade A bullshit is this?” I’d be mortified if someone I was with felt that way and couldn’t slap me about the head because of it, but love the idea of these expressions tied to a painful follow-up.

Sienna is a Toronto based professional companion. You can find her professional site here and her OnlyFans site here. She also creates a podcast called ‘The Escort: Deconstructed.’ I don’t see any indication she offers kinky services, although she clearly has a talent for subtle social humiliation.

Meditative Metal

A final post in my metal bondage series. Where the last two looked pretty intense, this looks almost relaxing. I think it taps into that protected and secured headspace that some bondage can create. Although having said that, now I look closely, those metal thumbcuffs might be a touch intense. It’s often the little things that can mess with your mind the most.

This image is from the twitter feed of Bondage in Paradise, featuring Queen Ariana Chevalier and Ms. Luna.

Locktober to the Max

I’m continuing the metal bondage theme with this astonishing metal body cage owned by Amanda Wildefyre. Forget locking just the penis up – here’s a way to guarantee there’s no hanky-panky of any sort. It looks like it has been paired with an inflatable rubber body suit, just to really crank the confinement kink up to 11.

Amanda Wildefyre is a Minneapolis based pro-domme, with a really incredibly collection of equipment. If you can’t visit in person, then she also has a clips store here.