Cocktail Hour

One thing I’ve missed this year is making cocktails for friends. That’s such a pleasurable activity. Making a cocktail is much quicker and simpler than cooking a meal, yet still has those elements of handcrafting and artistry that makes it fun to do. There are endless recipes to try and minimal knife skills required. Plus, you end up with drunk happy grateful friends.

This image is obviously from the Play Girl magazine and features Alex Hawn as the man with the Martini glass. The first version I found of this image had been weirdly edited to chop his head off and photoshop out the gun from her hand. I kind of get the cropping to remove the logo and make the woman more center frame. That’s a pretty common tumblr type edit. But who simultaneously hated guns yet loved this image so much that they spent the time to photoshop the gun out?

Neck Shocks Revisited

Last month I wrote a post linking to an article that advised steering clear of shock collars. If anyone was left in any doubt after that, I would direct your attention to this very long twitter thread from a specialist physiotherapist in neuromusculoskeletal conditions. It comes complete with medical diagrams and descriptions of all the bad things that can happen. I realize I’m somewhat repeating myself here, but I thought the thread had a lot of interesting detail in it.

So if you’re going to shock people then stick to areas below the neck. If you want to play with collars, then leave the shocking part out. After all, they’re pretty sexy even without the electricity. For example, I give you this image from Yumine Guo.

Twinkle Toes

Just after writing my previous post on the subject of kink and shame, I stumbled across this Savage Love column. I think the first letter there is a good grounding point for those of us who spend a lot of time on BDSM sites and following like minded people on social media. It’s easy to get blase about kinks and forget that for a lot of people they can come as a shock.

The letter in question features a guy whose boyfriend is into feet and has a thing for painting toe nails. As kinks go, I can’t really think of a more harmless one. A foot fetish is very common and painting a partners toenails seems kind of cute whatever the gender combination. Yet the letter writer – someone who regularly read Savage Love and claimed to be GGG – seemed weirdly freaked by the idea. I think Dan nails the answer, but the fact the writer felt the need to pose the question is a good data point in itself.

When it comes to foot lovers, Quentin Tarantino is an obvious go to. This is him in a publicity shoot with Diane Kruger for his movie Inglorious Bastards. It was shot for the NY Time Magazine.

Size Con

The Daily Dot has put up a thoughtful article on the subject of shame and kink. It’s anchored around the authors virtual attendance at SizeCon – a convention for fans of microphilia and macrophilia. I had no idea such a convention existed, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Where there is porn of something, then there will be forums and fansites, and that means meet-ups and conventions can’t be far behind.

One of my takeaways from the article is that being kinky doesn’t always translate into being open minded or tolerant. As the author writes…

Most of the sex clubs, 18+ panels, and sex ed courses I’ve attended make plenty of room for D/s, S/M, and bondage but don’t really care for anything more fantastical. Or if it comes up, it quickly becomes a joke.

Just because people are operating outside mainstream ideas of sexuality, doesn’t mean they’re not going to set up their own alternative hierarchies and gatekeepers. Much like with free speech, it’s easy to be supportive when something fits with your proclivities. The challenge is to be inclusive and supportive when it doesn’t align. I always try to remind myself that me not liking something – whether it’s a particular kink or a food or a movie – is my loss. It’s not a problem with the thing itself.

I don’t have a kink for size, but I do like this image. The tweet I sourced it from credited it to ‘Gibson’ from 1920.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful email I believe the Gibson in question is Charles Dana Gibson, an American illustrator who created the Gibson Girl.

The Chicago Studio

I’ve previously covered the difficulties playspaces are having right now with Covid-19. The latest example to reach out for help is The Chicago Studio owned by Mistress Simone. They’ve set up a GoFundMe to help it survive here.

I’ve unfortunately never played with Mistress Simone, but I have been lucky enough to use that space multiple times with Mistress Mara Mayhem. It’s a great space with some excellent equipment. I particularly like this padded table with its sturdy metal frame and a cut out section. That combination allows for all sorts of fun bondage set-ups while leaving the body of the submissive very much available for tease or torture.

If you can afford to make a donation, then I’m sure all the Mistresses who use the space would very much appreciate it. I personally just donated. I’m very much looking forward to playing more when the virus is finally under control, and it’ll be very depressing if there’s nowhere left to do so by then.

This is Mistress Simone in a photograph from her web site.

Valerie Leon

I’m moving on from C S Lewis, but sticking with kinky button pushing moments from childhood. This image is Valerie Leon with Peter Sellers from the movie ‘Revenge of the Pink Panther‘.

The original scene – viewable on youtube here – now comes across as horribly dated. It leans into all sorts of uncomfortable stereotypes. However, back when I first saw it in the mid 80’s, it was my first awareness of the dominatrix role. There were plenty of screen characters who’d pushed my buttons already (like Catwoman and Miss Peel), but nothing as sexually overt as Valerie Leon’s role here. For all its cliches, it helped me connect some of the dots around sex and kink. This whip wielding dominatrix might be played for laughs, but the fact that type of character actually existed was a big part of putting together my kinky puzzle.

The Silver Chair

I’m going to continue the C S Lewis theme for one more post. That’s probably not an opening sentence you’d expect to find on a kinky sex blog. However, as one of the comments on the previous post attested, Lewis did have form in the kinky realm. He signed some of his letters ‘Philomastix’, meaning lover of the whip, and at age 19 wrote this to a friend…

Across my knee” of course makes one think of positions for Whipping: or rather not for whipping (you couldn’t get any swing) but for that torture with brushes. This position, with its childish, nursery associations would have something beautifully intimate and also very humiliating for the victim.

That definitely reads as someone with a kinky and most likely submissive side.

Another commenter suggested his book The Magician’s Nephew contains hints of a Female Led Relationship. I don’t remember enough about the story to comment on that. However, I do remember the plot of his book ‘The Sliver Chair‘, and in hindsight the fact that particular plot stuck with me isn’t too surprising. It features another powerful and seductive witch, who captures and entrances a prince, and then has him tightly bound every night to an ornate silver chair. Admittedly, once he’s bound in place, at no point does the witch turn up for some cock-and-ball torture or nipple play. Yet even with that (sad) omission, I think the femdom elements are fairly clear.

This is one of the original illustrations of the Silver Chair by Pauline Baynes. The prince is tied in place and about to be ‘rescued’ by the heroes. That chair definitely would not look out of place in a BDSM dungeon.

The White Witch

Most kinky people can point to moments in their youth where they had a sudden awareness of their kinky side. It can be almost anything – a scene on TV, a particular outfit, a movie character – but whatever it is, their kinky wiring goes ‘Bzzzzz!’ They might not even understand exactly what is happening or why, but there’s a sudden rush of both excitement and curiosity.

My favorite version of these are the really early ones. The ones that triggered me even though I was too young to know about sex or kink. Where I remember a strange attraction to something, but it’s only obvious in hindsight why. The existence of these events before I reached adolescence speak to the very deep and intrinsic nature of my kinks.

I discovered a new one recently. A tweet mentioned the White Witch of Narnia, from the books by C. S. Lewis, and suddenly a penny dropped. I think I was around 9 or 10 when I read them and I remember being fascinated by the White Witch. Particularly the scenes where she seduces Edmund with warm furs and Turkish delight. There was also her habit of turning disobedient creatures into statues. In hindsight the idea of a cruel, powerful and sensual woman with a taste for objectification and fornophilia would be an obvious draw for a young paltego. It’s just taken me a few decades to realize why.

This is Tilda Swinton in the role as Jadis the White Witch, from the 2005 movie.

Formant

It’s unusual for me to stumble across an entirely new BDSM artist producing high quality work. There’s obviously a huge amount of artwork floating around online but – as is the way of the world – poor quality and duplication does tend to dominate. I was therefore pleasantly surprised to find Formant, who has produced some really lovely kinky pieces. The image below is called Caged in Sunlight and written to a story by Mduvant entitled The Young Miss and Her Boy.

In addition to his DeviantArt site (login via a free account to view), Formant also has subscriber site here and has a digital artbook available here. Fair warning – his art tends to skew towards female submission over female dominance – but if you’re switchy that way, then I think he’s well worth checking out.

A Good Birthday Boy

This sexy image is a bit of a two for one deal. It’s by the artist Voize, but features two characters from the Smutty Rogue as a birthday tribute. You can see the original tweet here. There’s something very appealing about men looking good in lingerie while retaining their masculinity.

If you’d like to see more from Voize they have a very affordable Patreon set up here.