Size Con

The Daily Dot has put up a thoughtful article on the subject of shame and kink. It’s anchored around the authors virtual attendance at SizeCon – a convention for fans of microphilia and macrophilia. I had no idea such a convention existed, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Where there is porn of something, then there will be forums and fansites, and that means meet-ups and conventions can’t be far behind.

One of my takeaways from the article is that being kinky doesn’t always translate into being open minded or tolerant. As the author writes…

Most of the sex clubs, 18+ panels, and sex ed courses I’ve attended make plenty of room for D/s, S/M, and bondage but don’t really care for anything more fantastical. Or if it comes up, it quickly becomes a joke.

Just because people are operating outside mainstream ideas of sexuality, doesn’t mean they’re not going to set up their own alternative hierarchies and gatekeepers. Much like with free speech, it’s easy to be supportive when something fits with your proclivities. The challenge is to be inclusive and supportive when it doesn’t align. I always try to remind myself that me not liking something – whether it’s a particular kink or a food or a movie – is my loss. It’s not a problem with the thing itself.

I don’t have a kink for size, but I do like this image. The tweet I sourced it from credited it to ‘Gibson’ from 1920.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful email I believe the Gibson in question is Charles Dana Gibson, an American illustrator who created the Gibson Girl.

The Chicago Studio

I’ve previously covered the difficulties playspaces are having right now with Covid-19. The latest example to reach out for help is The Chicago Studio owned by Mistress Simone. They’ve set up a GoFundMe to help it survive here.

I’ve unfortunately never played with Mistress Simone, but I have been lucky enough to use that space multiple times with Mistress Mara Mayhem. It’s a great space with some excellent equipment. I particularly like this padded table with its sturdy metal frame and a cut out section. That combination allows for all sorts of fun bondage set-ups while leaving the body of the submissive very much available for tease or torture.

If you can afford to make a donation, then I’m sure all the Mistresses who use the space would very much appreciate it. I personally just donated. I’m very much looking forward to playing more when the virus is finally under control, and it’ll be very depressing if there’s nowhere left to do so by then.

This is Mistress Simone in a photograph from her web site.

Valerie Leon

I’m moving on from C S Lewis, but sticking with kinky button pushing moments from childhood. This image is Valerie Leon with Peter Sellers from the movie ‘Revenge of the Pink Panther‘.

The original scene – viewable on youtube here – now comes across as horribly dated. It leans into all sorts of uncomfortable stereotypes. However, back when I first saw it in the mid 80’s, it was my first awareness of the dominatrix role. There were plenty of screen characters who’d pushed my buttons already (like Catwoman and Miss Peel), but nothing as sexually overt as Valerie Leon’s role here. For all its cliches, it helped me connect some of the dots around sex and kink. This whip wielding dominatrix might be played for laughs, but the fact that type of character actually existed was a big part of putting together my kinky puzzle.

The Silver Chair

I’m going to continue the C S Lewis theme for one more post. That’s probably not an opening sentence you’d expect to find on a kinky sex blog. However, as one of the comments on the previous post attested, Lewis did have form in the kinky realm. He signed some of his letters ‘Philomastix’, meaning lover of the whip, and at age 19 wrote this to a friend…

Across my knee” of course makes one think of positions for Whipping: or rather not for whipping (you couldn’t get any swing) but for that torture with brushes. This position, with its childish, nursery associations would have something beautifully intimate and also very humiliating for the victim.

That definitely reads as someone with a kinky and most likely submissive side.

Another commenter suggested his book The Magician’s Nephew contains hints of a Female Led Relationship. I don’t remember enough about the story to comment on that. However, I do remember the plot of his book ‘The Sliver Chair‘, and in hindsight the fact that particular plot stuck with me isn’t too surprising. It features another powerful and seductive witch, who captures and entrances a prince, and then has him tightly bound every night to an ornate silver chair. Admittedly, once he’s bound in place, at no point does the witch turn up for some cock-and-ball torture or nipple play. Yet even with that (sad) omission, I think the femdom elements are fairly clear.

This is one of the original illustrations of the Silver Chair by Pauline Baynes. The prince is tied in place and about to be ‘rescued’ by the heroes. That chair definitely would not look out of place in a BDSM dungeon.

The White Witch

Most kinky people can point to moments in their youth where they had a sudden awareness of their kinky side. It can be almost anything – a scene on TV, a particular outfit, a movie character – but whatever it is, their kinky wiring goes ‘Bzzzzz!’ They might not even understand exactly what is happening or why, but there’s a sudden rush of both excitement and curiosity.

My favorite version of these are the really early ones. The ones that triggered me even though I was too young to know about sex or kink. Where I remember a strange attraction to something, but it’s only obvious in hindsight why. The existence of these events before I reached adolescence speak to the very deep and intrinsic nature of my kinks.

I discovered a new one recently. A tweet mentioned the White Witch of Narnia, from the books by C. S. Lewis, and suddenly a penny dropped. I think I was around 9 or 10 when I read them and I remember being fascinated by the White Witch. Particularly the scenes where she seduces Edmund with warm furs and Turkish delight. There was also her habit of turning disobedient creatures into statues. In hindsight the idea of a cruel, powerful and sensual woman with a taste for objectification and fornophilia would be an obvious draw for a young paltego. It’s just taken me a few decades to realize why.

This is Tilda Swinton in the role as Jadis the White Witch, from the 2005 movie.

Formant

It’s unusual for me to stumble across an entirely new BDSM artist producing high quality work. There’s obviously a huge amount of artwork floating around online but – as is the way of the world – poor quality and duplication does tend to dominate. I was therefore pleasantly surprised to find Formant, who has produced some really lovely kinky pieces. The image below is called Caged in Sunlight and written to a story by Mduvant entitled The Young Miss and Her Boy.

In addition to his DeviantArt site (login via a free account to view), Formant also has subscriber site here and has a digital artbook available here. Fair warning – his art tends to skew towards female submission over female dominance – but if you’re switchy that way, then I think he’s well worth checking out.

A Good Birthday Boy

This sexy image is a bit of a two for one deal. It’s by the artist Voize, but features two characters from the Smutty Rogue as a birthday tribute. You can see the original tweet here. There’s something very appealing about men looking good in lingerie while retaining their masculinity.

If you’d like to see more from Voize they have a very affordable Patreon set up here.

Hustle (updated)

Last month I wrote a post where I expressed surprise that sex workers hadn’t jumped on the idea of selling masks made from their intimate apparel. Given a lot of pro-dommes sell used panties and socks online already, why not turn them into masks and also plug into kinks around exhibitionism and subtle public play?

It turns out that at least one domme was already plotting in that direction. Madeline Marlowe recently put up this tweet with the fact she’s sold 48 pairs of well scented pantie masks. That fact does not surprise me at all. Round 2 of production is apparently opening up, so check out the instructions in her tweet if you’d like one of her unique masks.

This image is another shot from Madeline’s twitter feed. It features her with Will Havoc in a docu-series called ‘Chastity’. You can see more from it via her Only Fans.

No Heavy Breathing

Good news for German kinksters. The Berlin bondage studios are open again for business. They’d originally been shut under an order that covered brothels, but a court has decided that the order was discriminatory. Brothels remain closed, but bondage studios and massage parlors can reopen.

Given that yesterday Germany had 569 new coronavirus cases, compared to the US single day tally of almost 70,000, it’s not surprising they’re starting to relax restrictions. However, I do find the logic of the court somewhat odd.

Brothels were different for other reasons, the court added, including the fact that sex involved a dramatically elevated breathing rate, which increased the risk of spreading infection.

I’m going to guess the judge behind this ruling has never been involved in a BDSM scene. Elevated breathing rates are very much part of them. Being beaten, shocked, pierced or trampled will tend to do that to you. I’d also suggest that people screaming and moaning are both common in BDSM and great ways to spread a virus. Even breathplay, which sounds like it’d be safe, isn’t great. There’s nothing like an extended period of no breathing to encourage the taking and expelling of great gulps of oxygen when the chance arises.

Here’s at least one way to reduce the chance of viral transmission. Artwork is by Zblabla.

Good Advice

Vice magazine has a pretty decent article on how to find a kink positive therapist. For anyone living through the dystopian hellscape that is the US right now, therapy is close to an essential resource. Just below bread flour and slightly above toilet paper. Finding someone who works well for you always involves a degree of trial and error, but this article seems like a good starting point.

This is of course the amazing Mistress T. She’s not actually a therapist, but she does play one on TV.