Stupid Dick

I have to admit that yesterday’s post ‘The Bug‘ was written from a personal perspective. I’m currently down in San Francisco enjoying some kinky fun. It was a trip I arranged in January, before the extent of the COVID-19 issue in the US was clear. I debated cancelling it, but I figured if I take proper precautions then staying on my own in a hotel room was really no different to staying on my own in my condo. So here I am, with very chapped and dried hands from the frequent washing.

I was very happy to start my trip by meeting up with Domina Yuki.  She’s an amazing domme who I’ve known for years and is always the first person I reach out to when returning to the Bay area. We had a fabulous session, with much tease, torment and predicament play. A couple of photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share those in a future post.

One particularly interesting moment in the session occurred when we were playing with a Kali’s teeth device. I’ve experienced these devices before, although this one was narrower and tighter than I’m used to. The typical reaction to them goes in a cycle. They don’t hurt going on, but arousal leads to pain. That’s a hot thing for a masochist, so the excitement increases in a feedback loop until the pain peaks and becomes too much. That diminishes arousal, putting me into a slowly cycling equilibrium. Stimulus balances against pain, with the domme tilting the balance as she sees fit.

What was strange today is that we hit that hit that tipping point of pain, and my stupid dick just kept on going (and growing). It was like a chain reaction that was out of control. My brain was at the point of “OK. That really hurts. Not so hot anymore” and the dick was “Nu-huh. We’re keeping this party going.” It was genuinely weird. I’ve made plenty of jokes in the past about my dick having a mind of its own, but this was the first time it actually felt like that. It was also the first time I’ve actively tried to think unsexy thoughts during a session, which is frankly quite the challenge when Domina Yuki is in the same room.

This image of Domina Yuki from her website should give some idea of the challenge involved of unsexy thoughts when doing a session with her. You can follow her here on twitter or enjoy exclusive content via her AVN stars feed.

The Bug

The big news story of the day is the new strain of coronavirus that has been spreading around the world. With people dying and the economy tanking, it seems somewhat silly to talk about its affect on kink and sex. However, those are the primary subjects of this blog and you get what you pay for, so here we go.

The key question for anyone with either casual play partners or when doing professional sessions is: What level of precaution makes sense? Do you keep going as normal? Stop until we’re told the pandemic has passed? Only do scenes involving full body prophylactics or bullwhips with a reach of longer than 6 feet?

It gets even more complicated for pro-dommes and other sex workers. On one hand getting sick from close interaction is a major risk. On the other, a stream of cancellations and clients being afraid to book means no income. I’ve already seen a lot of social media commentary on this, with a wide variety of emphasis on risk avoidance versus lost opportunities. Some professionals are temporarily relaxing their cancellation penalties to discourage playing while sick. I even saw one suggestion of only seeing clients from certain ‘safe’ areas, both to reduce risk and to reassure clients from those areas that sessions would be low risk.

For those without specific government rules around quarantine, I think everyone has to draw their own lines in the sand. Guidance around washing hands and not touching your face aren’t much help when it comes to deciding on the safety of say genital torture versus smothering. Although I would love to have the Surgeon Generals opinion on that.

The one piece of advice I’d give would be to be as transparent as possible with your play partners. Consent is about making an informed decision, and information is obviously a very necessary part of that. If I have any minor thing pop up in the days before I play, I’ll always email my prospective play partner to let them know. That gives them plenty of time to assess the risk and decide if they want to cancel, reschedule or wait to see how it develops. If I end up too sick to play, they at least they got an early heads-up. Obviously nobody should ever be playing with others if they think they have the new strain of coronavirus, but for other bugs I’ve been surprised at the variety of reactions. Some pro-dommes are OK as long as I can stagger to their playspace, where others have strict rules around staying away until fully healthy.

So share your health information and share it early. If it’s a regular seasonal cold then both parties need to make an informed decision. If it might be COVID-19 then get tested and stay in quarantine if necessary.

This medical themed image is from Domina Contessa Cara. She is based in Essen and her professional site is available here.

Dumb Face

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. Life has been kind of busy. Normal service should be resuming from this point on. If not, I’ll try and find a lady like this one to incentivize me appropriately.

Not really sure where this is from or who it’s by. Obvious a pop art style, but searching for it doesn’t turn up many clues.

Update: This is by the artist Notalkingplz. You can find their work on tumblr and on instagram. Thanks to a helpful comment for attributing this.

Community Policing

I normally like to add some color commentary when linking to articles. For this post I’m not really sure I can. This Huffington Post article and this Vancouver Sun article are quite different stories but ostensibly the same issue. A member of the BDSM community is accused of abusive behavior, the community attempts some degree of self-policing, the law gets involved, and things do not go well. While the legal issues are very different, the message is the same. It discourages people from coming forward and makes challenging abuse harder.

I’m not really involved in my local BDSM community, and have no wise words to offer here. I would love to know if there are positive cases out there where people have had success in tackling allegations of abuse in the kinky scene. It would seem we’re sorely in need of good examples to highlight and point people toward.

This drawing is by Stig, an artist who specializes in judicial and corporal scenes.

Rebecca Ferguson

A final image in my sequence of posts featuring smartly dressed people. The image below is Rebecca Ferguson from the Mission Impossible movie Rogue Nation. I’ve not actually seen the movie, but now I kind of want to. I was very tempted to feature this alternative shot of her beating people up while Tom Cruise is tied up. That looks like a fun scene.

I’ve done plenty of scenes with very smartly dressed dommes, but I don’t think I’ve ever done one with the domme in a suit and a tie. I might have to add that to my bucket list. It’s one of those looks that provokes an anticipatory shiver.

The Boss

There’s something about combining smart conventional outfits and kink. It’s hot in a way I find hard to identify. Maybe it’s the contrast of the implication of strict social norms and then the trangressive element of kink. Maybe it’s a uniform thing, where the costume comes loaded with a history social rules and authority. Maybe it’s because I live on the west coast, where the typical business outfit is jeans and a polo shirt, so seeing anyone dressed in a smart suit is automatically a big improvement.

This is from a short film that Mistress Iris is shooting, with this particular image coming via a tweet by Mistress Eva. If you’re not  a member of Mistress Iris’ Patreon and like her content, then now might be a good time to subscribe. I suspect more hotness from this scene is in the pipeline.

 

Snow and the 7 Submissives

This fairy tale is brought to you by the artist Ludwig Van Bacon. I think he does a great job of translating the various personalities while adding a kinky slant. I particularly like Grumpy, with his butt plug tail. The nipple tape crosses are an interesting if odd touch. Gimp suits, leashes and chastity devices are fine, but nipples must be covered?

You can see and buy more from the artist at his site and twitter feed.

Anthony Vaccarello

Whenever I see a fashion editor going on about a ‘dominatrix look’ I brace myself for disappointment. It normally means one of the models wore a pair of boots or – even worse – a leather choker. However, I have to admit that this papermag article on the 2020 Saint Laurent collection by designer Anthony Vaccarello doesn’t get it wrong. It’s a pretty hot and kinky collection, with some serious dominatrix vibes. I particularly like the combination of pussybow blouses with shiny latex pants as shown in this linked image. That’s fetish meets old fashioned schoolmistress, a particularly fab combo in my eyes. I also love the latex dress in the image below. Impractical no doubt, but beautiful and sensual.

Louboutin

If there’s one shoe designer who is widely known across all genders and sexualities, it’d be Christian Louboutin. I have a very straight non-kinky male friend who has minimal interest in fashion, yet he still managed to spot and identify a pair of Louboutin’s that flashed past us in a restaurant one night recently. I’m sure it was the stylish lady sporting them that first caught his eye, but he still managed to pick up on that little flash of red from her shoes.

I’d always assumed, given how sexy and fetishistic his work can be, that he was at least a little bit kinky. However, according to this recent NY Times article, that’s probably not the case.

I remember Helmut Newton, the photographer, telling me one day — he had looked at some of my shoes — “I’m going to give you the best address for dominatrixes in New York.” And I said, “Helmut, I’m just not interested in that.” He was surprised. This is a suggestion from my work to a projection of his own mind. Me, when I think leather and spikes, I’m thinking Haute Époque, 17th century.
Christian Louboutin in the NY Times.

While he might not be interested in ‘that’, but I do know a lot of dommes and submissives who love his high heels and boots. If you’re in the Paris area then there’s an exhibition of his work running over the next few months at the Palais de la Porte Dorée. For those of us not in that area, the NY Times also has a multimedia piece with him talking about his work and his inspirations.

This boot is called the Corset d’Amour and is featured at the start of the NYT media piece.