An Expensive Affair

I’m theoretically a fan of the consensual cuckold dynamic. I say theoretically because I’ve never actually tried it, but the tease+denial aspects of it definitely push my kinky buttons.

Non-consensual cuckolding is obviously a different story and a real asshole move. According to this article, it also carries the risk of being an incredibly expensive move. At least in certain US States – North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, Utah, New Mexico and Hawaii – where you can sue for alienation of affection. The example in the article features someone ending up liable for $750,000 for an affair. That makes a no-strings attached webcam session or NifeFlirt scene seem like a real bargain. Incredibly you don’t even have to live in these States to get caught out. Just online flirting with someone who lives there could make you liable.

The laws are obviously incredibly anachronistic and should be removed, but they do at least highlight the importance of consent. Don’t cuckold someone unless they’re really into it.

If cuckold porn scenes are to be believed, almost every cuckold knows what is going on. He’s normally in the room while it’s happening, providing a helpful tongue or looking comically dismayed.

A Schooling via Twitter

This twitter thread – featuring a man complaining to Dan Savage about the prices charged by pro-dommes – blew up big on my feed. Unsurprisingly a lot of dommes were unimpressed with his suggestion that they drop their rates to suit him. Dan summarized a collection of the responses in his column.

I’m not going to rehash the primary question. I think the answer to that was covered pretty extensively in the thread. I will say that I love his subconscious thought process that led to it. Presumably it went something like this: I want to be dominated. I can’t afford a pro-domme. That fact can’t possibly be my fault. It’s therefore a problem with the pro-dommes in my area. They obviously don’t understand how to run their business. Amazing that all of them are making the same mistake. I shall now write to the world to tell everyone of my insight!

Ironically, if it’s true that all the professional in his area are charging $250 an hour, then he’s actually getting a bit of a bargain. That was the average rate when I started playing almost a decade ago. These days it’s usually $300 and up, rising to $400+ in expensive areas like Manhattan or San Francisco.

In an effort to produce something positive from his letter, and aid anyone thinking of seeing a pro-domme for the first time, it might be worth clarifying the subject of tribute. He seems somewhat confused by the word. Possibly due to hanging out on social media with too many fin dommes.

Tribute is simply the fancy industry term for an hourly rate. If you’re playing with an independent domme, then you simply tribute for the length of session you desire. A small number of dommes do charge extra for certain equipment (e.g. single use medical supplies) or for certain activities (e.g. full toilet), but that’s relatively rare and those extras should all be announced and agreed upfront. Tips and gifts are obviously gratefully received, but never required *.

In the very unlikely event that you find yourself in a situation where fees are being negotiated mid-session, or you’re being upsold activities after starting play, or there’s not a clear understanding ahead of time of the total cost, then don’t walk away. Run as fast as possible. I’ve never had this happen to me. No competent professional will ever do it. But I have heard of it happening, particularly when dealing with escorts who offer domination services, and it’s a big red flag **.

I found this Tribute inspired T-Shirt available for sale here.

* This applies to independent dommes. For playing at a house dungeon, where the domme works as an independent contractor for the commerical dungeon, then you should always tip the domme.

** This applies to conventional BDSM sessions. If you’re mixing financial domination into your play, then obviously different rules may apply.

More Chicago Hijinks

As I’ve written in the past, I like to mix up my kinky play when travelling. I want to play with people I know to continue to build a rapport, but also play with people I’ve not met before to explore new dynamics and expand my kinky horizons. It’s not an algorithm that scales all that well, but it is fun to try.

For my recent Chicago trip, in the former category was Mistress Mara Mayhem, who I’ve known since 2016. In the latter category I was lucky enough to get some time with Olivia Black. She has an outstanding reputation as a talented and creative domme. After doing just one session with her, I can say that it’s thoroughly deserved.

We did a nice mix of caning, bondage and torturing my delicate parts (TDP), all delivered with the kind of caring sensual sadism that really pushes my buttons. I particularly enjoyed the trick of leaning in for a hug after attaching clothespins to my chest. There’s something attractively devilish about using a moment of closeness and contact to spike the pain levels by dragging against the pins. It’s a heady mix of pain and pleasure, where the boundaries between the two become very blurred.

This is Olivia Black shot by photographer Alejandra Gguerrero. If you’re in the Chicago area and interested in scheduling a session, you can find Olivia’s professional site here.  Her instagram is available here.

Home Again

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. My Chicago hotel, whilst excellent in many aspects, was sadly lacking in terms of a reliable internet connection. They had zero connectivity for 3+ days and I didn’t have the time to schlep my laptop to a coffee shop to blog. I’m now back in Seattle, so normal service should be resumed.

Although I had some good kinky fun in Chicago, I sadly didn’t get any photographs to share. I had two great sessions with Mistress Mara Mayhem, who made me growl with nipple clamps, moan with clothespins and laugh a lot with an ice cube. I think an unexpected shock of cold to the nape of my nape provoked a stronger reaction than a needle through the nipple did.

I don’t get to see Mistress Mara as often I’d like, but it’s always a pleasure when our paths cross and we can renew our play together. Although we’re both serious about kink, that doesn’t mean sessions have to entirely serious, and it’s nice to intersperse laughter between the moans and yells. It is called ‘play’ after all.

This is Mistress Mara looking serious in an image from her professional site. You can find links to her OnlyFans, NiteFlirt and Clips Store here, or follow her on twitter.

A Triumph of Hope Over Experience

I’m a big fan of pulp novel covers from the 60’s and 70’s. They’re the perfect example of selling the sizzle rather than the steak. The book contents might consistently disappoint, but there was always the hope that the next one might live up to the erotic delights promised by its cover. An endless sequence of the triumph of hope over experience.

This example, courtesy of this tweet by the Pulp Librarian, features a severe looking nurse, a glimpse of stocking and a cane. Admittedly, a cane makes absolutely no sense for a nurse to be brandishing, but pulp illustrators never let a silly thing like logic get in the way of a sexy cover. As far as I can tell from the Wikipedia page on the novel itself, there’s also nothing in the book about nurses, corporal punishment or kink. Anyone buying this book based on the cover probably knew that was the case, but still let their little brain override the big one.

Hair of the Dog

The problem with taking a vacation is returning to normal life. As a rule, I’m not a fan of normal life. My Yelp review for it would be a two star at most. It appears to principally involve working and being responsible, and neither of those are my strong points.

Fortunately I’ve come up with the perfect solution – take another vacation. I’m not sure if this is an entirely sustainable model, but I’m running with it until proven otherwise. Consequentially, I’m now in Chicago, enjoying more kink and fine food. I had a fabulous session today with Mistress Mara and more kinky fun is planned for the coming days. Sadly, we were so busy enjoying ourselves (i.e. torturing me) that we missed out on photographs. Hopefully, we can fix that for next time.

I’ll finish the post with a totally unrelated image, that I have absolutely zero context for. It popped up on twitter recently, and even with a translator app for the text, I’ve no idea what’s going on. But I love it for the sense of happy menace it presents. I get the feeling that the cheerful smiles and welcoming attitude may vanish once that door slams shut. It puts me in mind of three cats encouraging a naive young bird to step into their den.

A Session with Empress Wu

My final kinky experience of my NYC trip was a session with Empress Wu. We had not played together before, so this was a getting to know each other exploratory scene. I’m always a fan of easing into new dynamics rather than trying to bounce off limits in the first hour or two. I’d rather leave buzzed, floaty and imaging how we could evolve in the future, rather than staggering out shell-shocked and wandering what the hell just happened.

One of the nice things about being somewhat omnivorous in my kinky appetites, and being lucky enough to play with different dommes, is the opportunity to do different types of scenes. I always try to skew towards activities dommes call out as favorites, and in Empress Wu’s case this gave us a really fun scene heavy in spitting, pissing, scentplay, breathplay, gagging and CBT. As a general rule, letting a domme riff on some of her preferred activities is never bad way to do a first scene, and that was certainly true here. It was a great scene and an ideal way to end my NYC trip.

One particularly interesting aspect was the breathplay we did. There was some of the ‘regular kind’ featuring smothering, hand to face and a plastic bag over the head. However, Empress Wu also did some breathing exercises that I’d typically associate more with yoga or meditation. She talked me through breathing patterns, allowing me just to sit and be in the moment, following her voice. That’s really unusually in a pro-domme session – a first for me – and it was a really interesting dynamic. I was floaty from the more intense physical play we’d done, still in a D/s mindset, and it was almost hypnotic to follow her voice and try to let my thoughts go.

We didn’t shoot too many photographs, but I did think this was a fun one featuring a bit gag and some nipple clamps. Bit gags are always good for drooling and the chain pulling the head down just enhances that.

This rather striking selfie shot was from Empress Wu’s twitter feed. If you’re in the New York area and would like to schedule a professional session, then her site is here. For anyone further afield, then you can subscribe to her OnlyFans here.

Bah, Humbug! (And other related candy products)

Is there a label for people who don’t like Halloween? Other than miserable bastards that is. Christmas has Grinch and Scrooge, but I don’t know of one for Halloween. If it exists, then I’m it. In my world it competes with Easter for worst communal event, a notch below Columbus day and several below Arbor day. For most people getting dressed up in a fun costume is a special event, but for kinky people, that’s just Tuesday.

All grouching aside, I do like this Halloween themed shot of Mistress Damazonia and her partner/submissive in life Natalie Mars. In a world where politicians have failed, and people have lost faith in their leaders, this is a pair of authoritarian rulers I could really get behind. Or, more appropriately, kneel down in front of.

Image is from this tweet.

A Session with Mistress Tess

It’s time to peruse another page in the paltego family album of NYC vacation photographs. Today we’re revisiting the time spent with the amazing Mistress Tess. Much kinky fun was had by all.

There was a fair amount of CBT involved. This shot shows a combination of clips, electricity and a fancy metal ball stretcher. Oddly enough, the most painful thing was the simple sharp pinch of the clips. Needles also made a welcome appearance. For anyone who doesn’t mind viewing a cock piercing shot, then this image shows that part of the scene.

There was a lot of bondage. Some of it was Dexter style mummification – minus the serial killers – as shown here. There was a neoprene sleeping sack inside a cage, shown here from the outside and the inside. When it comes to locks, straps, buckles and chains, then Mistress Tess is firmly a believer in the more is always better philosophy. Probably the most visual spectacular bondage was the suspended leather bag as shown at the bottom of the post. That entire thing could spin around the suspension point. With my entire body floating immobilized in space, even a gentle rotation was quite a head rush.

The most unique and unusual bondage we did featured inflation. You can see a side view in this shot here. Mistress Tess first placed me inside a rubber bag, nested inside a larger outer bag. Then she built the metal framework you can see around me in the photograph. That was all bolted down to her pinboard bed. Finally she inflated the bags, squeezing me tightly into place. It doesn’t look much in the images, but it was incredibly tight and constricting, whilst still being relatively comfortable. You can see an end on shot, taken from where my head was, in this image. There’s a vibrator sticking out and the two cords going up are attached to a spiked parachute ball stretcher. So while the bondage might have been comfortable, some of the accessories were a bit more ouchy.

What the images and descriptions can’t capture is the brilliant storytelling that Mistress Tess adds to her scenes. Given just a hint of a fantasy scenario she can spin erotic tales that fit beautifully with the physical scene she’s putting together. My only real contribution to these fantasies was to supply sound effects, but I like to think I did my part by putting the screams and cries in all the right places.

For anyone who wants to see more of Mistress Tess and her amazing studio, then she has an OnlyFans here. There’s a video from my session posted there, which actually includes some more scenes that we didn’t get photographs of.

Ruh-roh

Should I run such things, this image would make for a great caption competition. I can imagine it as both a before or after shot. Obviously, with a look this disarming, the whipping itself will be a brutal one. But is this the before look of someone who has been gently coaxed into giving BDSM a try, and whose partner is about to discover that one should be careful what one wishes for? Or is the after look of someone who might have just got a little bit carried away, and is now wondering if the neighbors heard the screams?