Sunday Fantasy

Readers in the London area might want to consider checking out the exhibition entitled Sunday Fantasy by Zoe Williams. It’s not really femdom, but it is about women taking control of and exploring their sexual fantasies. I particularly liked this description of one part of the exhibit…

two women exert themselves energetically to remove the fantasist’s clothes while she does all she can to keep them on. The result is often more pillowfight than catfight, with the women wrestling hard only to collapse periodically in exhausted giggles.

That seems a particularly fun fantasy. I like the contrast in types of desire – clothed and in control versus naked and sexual powerful. Apparently the exhibit also features pee as a linking element and references to 70’s Gothic lesbian horror movies, both of which are very fine things. The exhibition is at Mimosa House and you can read an interview with the artist here.

This image isn’t connected in any way with the exhibit in question. But it does at least feature a woman happy about taking someone’s clothes off. In this case, he doesn’t appear to be resisting all that much.

A Classic 1950’s Look

Here’s a final post in my fashion themed sequence. This is from a 1952 edition of French Vogue.

I find that many of the European fashion shots from that era (for example) seem to have a more authentic fetishistic and femdom vibe than the far more explicit fashion shots from the 90’s and beyond. Possibly that’s just my particular kinky preferences, but I think the tight severe cuts, long dresses and dark colors tend to suggest restraint, control and authority. They also tend to shoot models alone and staring down into the camera, which is obviously a style a lot of femdom photographers use.

Combining Talents

By an odd coincidence, just after my previous post on the failures of fashion and kink, I spotted this tweet from Mistress Iris. Apparently she is in Paris shooting with Ellen Von Unwerth. That should make for a fabulous combination of talents.

I’ve featured Ellen Von Unwerth in previous posts (for example here, here and here). She seems to be one of the few fashion photographers with at least an inkling as to how kink actually works. Similarly Mistress Iris has been featured in the past (for example here, here and here). She’s not only a great domme, but I think she produces some of the most interesting kinky femdom imagery. I can’t wait to see what they’ll end up creating together.

This is Sophia, Ellen Von Unwerth and Mistress Iris. If you’d like to see more of Mistress Iris and her work, she has a patreon here.

Fashionable Kink

I’m always amused by how many fashion shots reference kinky dynamics, but totally fail to understand them.The photographers grasp the aesthetics and taboos of specific elements, but don’t understand how they fit together in a way that makes kinky sense. It’s like they’re trying to write a story in a foreign language with just a translation dictionary. The individual words are correct, but the whole thing is incoherent.  This linked image is a good example of what I mean. There’s obviously a spanking theme in there somewhere, but I’ve no idea what the overall concept is.

The shots that tend to work best are the simplest. When the photographers just have a single concept and a single subject, then it’s much harder to end up with a confused mess of clashing kinks and weird dynamics. This shot of the model Tatjana Patitz by photographer Nathaniel Goldberg is a good example of that. It’s simple but very effective as a fetish image.

This was shot for Allure Magazine in 2007. You can see more photographs from the shoot here.

Thought Experiment

After yesterday’s post on the catfishing kink a thought struck me – I could be a consensual fake fin-domme. I know kink. I know what buttons to push for submissive guys. I know how to write and steal hot photos from real dommes. That’s pretty much the job description for running this blog. I already get idiotic comments asking me to hook people up with some of the models I feature. I’d just need to fake the responses for that.

I should add at this point that my thought definitely wasn’t of the ‘OMG! What a brilliant idea’ variety. It was very much in the abstract. A realization of a possibility that I’d previously never known existed, but still had zero probability of being taken. However, I will say that this thought experiment did give me a whole new appreciation for women, and particularly women sex workers, on the internet. Because the idea of those interactions and the type of emails I’d receive filled me with horror. Imagine the energy I’d need to put into making it work. Imagine what opening my inbox would reveal. Imagine being on the receiving end of random bursts of male sexual energy from anyone connected to the internet. Jesus.

I’ve written often enough in the past about my respect for dommes online, but it was always a respect born from an intellectual understanding of what they have to put up with. It wasn’t until I imagined myself as a fake fin-domme that I had a visceral and gut reaction to what those interactions might entail. I’d never have the strength or skills to be a sex worker. Thank God there are people who can do it.

June 2nd was International Sex Worker Rights Day. The symbol for that is the red umbrella, and the dress in this image reminded me of that. Sex workers – possibly along with chefs and vintners – have brought more joy to my life than anyone else. So my eternal thanks to all of them.

Catfish Kink

First came the dommes and then the pro-dommes, and that was good. Next came the fin-dommes and the cam-dommes, and that was like sure, whatever. Not my thing, but your thing is OK. Then came the fake dommes and the catfishing dommes, and that seemed obviously bad until I read this Gizmodo article. Apparently there are now men who fetishize being catfished and scammed online by men pretending to be women.

On one hand, if everyone knows what’s going on and everyone consents, then who am I to throw stones? A bunch of guys jerking off to each other while fake-pretending to be beautiful women scammers seems less objectionable than a lot of things men do online. Unfortunately, I suspect the scammers aren’t exactly careful about how they identify themselves as fakes. It would seem like there’s a significant danger of mixing in non-consensual scamming with the consensual sort. What’s the right ethical code for ensuring consensual and safe catfishing? The average BDSM guide doesn’t really cover that. And would there be a market for genuine fin-dommes to pretend to be fake-dommes in order to attract these clients? And would a catfish fetishist be upset if the hot blonde fin-domme he thought was a fat old man actually turned out to be a hot blonde? That’d be a confusing boner.

It is at least further proof (if such a thing were needed) that there is absolutely nothing that people will not fetishize in some way.

Tricky to pick an image to go with the topic. I figured this idealized figure worshiped by anonymous men seemed appropriate. The title also seems to fit. The artwork is of course by the great Eric Stanton.

Threesome

This is a lovely shot from the Dreams of Spanking site. There’s a lot of humor and fun in those sly smiles. The use of the mirror to capture both his and her expression while keeping a natural feel to the composition is cleverly done. From the look of that red bottom I’d guess this was taken in the middle of a scene.

You can see the larger version of the image, together with other shots from the same scene here. It’s actually a foursome in the full scene shots.

Minty Fresh

I got the Listerine strip treatment tonight. I’ve never tried it before and it was certainly a unique sensation. I’m guessing it’s not an approved usage of the product.

For those with no idea what I’m talking about  – imagine combining a metal urethral sound and a Listerine breath strip. One is wrapped around the other, and then pushed into a very delicate part of the body. It doesn’t do anything for you breath, but you do end up with a minty fresh penis. Albeit, with a fair amount of groaning and thrashing about along the way.

I’ve no idea who invented this devilish technique – I first heard of it via Mistress Matisse –  but I enjoyed tonight’s dose courtesy of Ms. Savannah Sly. Apparently I got off lightly, as the cinnamon flavors are considerably more painful. To make up for that, there was a lot of pinching, slapping and stapling also added into the mix. It was a great session that left me buzzed, aching and just a little tingly.

I’m not sure who this is a photograph of, but she looks well equipped to administer all sorts of strenuous treatments. Breath strips placed in delicate places might be the least of your problems.

As always, if anyone can help me attribute this photograph I’d be grateful. I’ve seen it posted in many places, but never tracked down the original source.

Waiting

This is (in an obscure way) a follow-up to my previous post on the interaction between fantasy and reality. I like the image below because it stimulates both sides of my brain. The fantasy side loves the bondage and the sense of isolation this pose has. A few years ago, that would have been my only thoughts on this image. Now I simultaneously admire the clever hatch based bondage (hiding the tie points from guests) while also worrying about his knees. Strappado is bad, but knee pain from being on a hard uneven surface is really tough. That’s not the kind of thing you pick up on until you’ve tried it. It’s a very masochistic experience.

Fantasy Feedback

I received an interesting comment in response to my recent post on the slippery slope of kinky fantasy. That’s sadly not an actual slope involving a lot of lube and frothy frottage fun, but instead the idea that indulging light kinky fantasies inevitably leads to heavier and heavier ones. The comment from Bb was that her fantasies had actually gone in the opposite direction. Watching and engaging in physical BDSM play had moderated her fantasies, resulting in a softer approach.

That got me thinking about the interplay between fantasies and reality. I wonder if anyone has ever studied people who just fantasize versus people who fantasize and use porn versus people who physically play and explore their fantasizes? I think there’s an intuition from the more socially conservative crowd that moving from fantasy to enacting a fantasy is part of the that slippery slope that leads to ever further depravity. In actuality kinky play and its interaction with our imagination is a lot more complex than that. It seems to be a circular feedback mechanism with the two playing off each other in non-obvious and complex ways.

Personally, physical play has clearly altered my fantasies in interesting ways. For example, I used to fantasize a lot about corporal play, and now almost never do. I still like doing it in sessions. I like the headspace it creates, the marks it leaves and the drama of it. But it’s rarely something I now dwell on in sexy alone time. On the flip side, my bondage fantasies have got far more elaborate over time. I think that’s probably because I’m physically limited to what I can do with a screwy lower back and a minor case of claustrophobia. Fantasy therefore fills in for me in an area I can only partially explore.

People worry that indulging a fantasy in reality will escalate it. My experience has almost been the opposite. Either the fantasy becomes grounded and therefore less compelling to fantasize about (while still being fun to do) or it becomes differentiated from reality, and therefore indulged in a more abstract way. I can enjoy it as a pure fiction of my own creation, rather than something I might actually want to try one day.

Talking of elaborate fantasy bondage, here’s a nice example from Jim of Switzerland.