Never Fails

One constant of any trip I arrange is that I’ll always just miss somebody that I’d really like to have intersected with. It doesn’t matter when or where, I’m guaranteed to buy tickets, arrange hotels and then realize I should have picked slightly different dates. It’s one of those immutable rules of life, like toast landing butter side down and USB plugs never going in the first way round you try them.

For my upcoming UK trip in August, my big miss will be Mistress Natsukiss who is going to be in London doing a Club Pedestal show in September. I’ve featured Mistress Natsukiss in past posts (for example here and here). She’s someone whose style and approach to femdom has always caught my eye, but I never thought I’d ever be lucky enough to watch her in action. It turns out I was actually right about that, but only just. For anyone lucky enough to actually be in London in September, then I think it’d be a show well worth attending.

These two beautiful shots are both from the twitter feed of Mistress Natsukiss. Her main web site is here. Check out the Club Pedestal site or follow their twitter feed for event tickets.

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants

Fans of mainstream movies that explore BDSM and take kink seriously might want to look out for the Finnish movie ‘Dogs Don’t Wear Pants‘.  You can read a variety review here, a cineuropa one here, and an interview with the director here. I described it as mainstream, in the sense its not porn, but I wouldn’t hold out much hope of catching it at your local multiplex. Web or streaming is probably your best bet to catch it when it has a wider release.

The storyline features a man who loses his wife to a drowning accident, and then is drawn to breathplay with a dominatrix to work through his emotions. Part of me dislikes the fact that it makes a connection between trauma and kinks. I love breathplay and yet have zero wet dead relatives. At the same time I understand that ‘normal man and normal woman have kinky fun because they enjoy it’ does lack something in dramatic tension and narrative drive. I’ll take interesting explorations of BDSM over the usual kink and sex work cliches.

Tender Moment

Here’s something tender and sweet to start the week. Not sure of the original source, although I suspect Japanese fan art of some kind.

I do actually have a bunch of longer posts written in my head, but I’m lacking the time to do the small but important part where thoughts get translated into keyboard impressions. Part of that time crunch is because I’m organizing a trip back to the old country, and trying to solve for all necessary planning constraints there is breaking my brain. I need to visit friends in London, spend time with family in the Midlands, attend a birthday event in Scotland and in the middle of all that, jam as much kinky play in as I think I can get away with. Some creative storytelling might be necessary in order for me to sneak away for a beating or three. It’s all a lot easier on the West coast when my relatives are 5,000 miles away.

Her Barking Dogs

This is a continuation of the public worship/service theme from yesterday’s photograph. It’s a cute shot, although in its original context I’m not sure how much D/s was actually going on. Reverse image search tells me it’s from a 2015 Japanese movie called Orange, which appears to be a mainstream teenage drama/fantasy/love story. No mention of any kinks.

A Missed Opportunity

I’m always amazed that (as far as I know) nobody has put together a site with a definitive list of kinks and fetishes. It seems so unlike the internet to miss an opportunity to combine freaky sex and an anally retentive urge to exhaustively catalog something. After all, those are two of the defining characteristics of the online world.

I’m currently deep into an PC role playing game (Divinity Original Sin 2). It’s the kind of game that has hundreds of characters, artifacts, quests and storylines. Yet, every little piece of it has been exhaustively cataloged online across multiple sites. I can bump into a wood nymph in a fictional copse, in some obscure corner of the game, and I’m no more than a web search from her backstory, details on what she’s carrying and what’s the best way to steal it. Yet, if I wanted to find out what fetishes might relate to wood and trees, I’m kind of stuck (apparently it’s xylophilia).

Last year I found a link to some scanned pages that listed 547 paraphilias. That’s a decent number, but I’m not sure how reliable they all were, and a few scanned pages with no details isn’t a convenient representation. The Bad Girls Bible has published a shorter list of 239 entries, which is at least searchable and carries descriptions along with some cross-reference links. It’s certainly an improvement, but a long way from the definitive guide you’d expect to exist. For example, while it might include obscure things like Siderodromophilia (a fetish for trains) and Nyctophilia (fetish for the night), it missed basic stuff like public humiliation and service submission. I definitely find a lot more shots like the one below than I find of people getting frisky with the back of an Amtrak.

Glee with Savannah

I had a fabulous session with Savannah Sly last night. Much slapping, spanking, pinching and hitting was involved. I particularly enjoyed the play we did with clothespins. I generally don’t find them a particularly fearsome tool, so I was pretty relaxed and unintimidated when Savannah pulled a packet out. It turns out that when you put them in just the right spots – where the flesh is taut and thin – and you grab just a narrow pinch of the skin, they really get your attention fast. It was the right kind of pain to push all my masochistic buttons, particularly when I got called a ‘good boy’ for relaxing into it.

I think at one point Savannah might have done the happy sadist dance, which put a big smile on my face. She’s definitely a very gleeful domme, as this image from her twitter feed shows. This was taken in 2009 at SXSW. It’s a wonderful happy shot, and I can say that ten years on, Savannah has lost absolutely none of that positive energy when playing. You can see a lot more of her imagery, both old and new, on her Only Fans site. If you’re not in a position to see her in person, then it’s well worth checking out.

A vicious streak a mile wide

I’m not totally sure what’s going on in this image, but I’m definitely a fan. It’s a look that seems to be a gothic lolita fetish femdom bunny. I know some pro-dommes have very extensive fetish wardrobes, but this seems like it’d be a difficult kink to pull off. How many have a pair of bunny ears color coordinated to their latex and corsets?

This is one of a series of images featured in this tweet. The photographer is @ymagiyoiriugiyo and the model ⁦‪@naruhodo_chan⁩.

Bonus points for any reader who can identify the connection between the post title and the image.

Bad Assumptions

This Frisky article on the bad assumptions people make about kink and kinky dating made my smile, albeit in a rueful way. The anecdote that really hits home features a roommate who interprets her friends preference as a ‘dom’ to mean being a professional dominatrix, and then thinks clients are getting invited over for their games night. I guess that’s what happens when people get all their information about kink from shitty memoirs.

I struggle with the perception of kink with the friends that I’m out to. On one hand I don’t want to get into too much detail about my sessions and personal sexual practices. Describing what an awesome play piercing session I just had doesn’t really make for a comfortable dinner conversation. At the same time, I see the common representations of femdom in popular culture, and wonder how it colors their view of me. I assume they think I get off on crawling around on the floor at the end of a leash and being called a miserable maggot by a lady in head to toe leather.  Which is all perfectly fine if you’re into it, but doesn’t really look anything like how I actually play. I don’t know how to communicate the complexity and richness of D/s and kink without an uncomfortable amount of oversharing.

I’m fairly certain this vintage shot is how my non-kinky friends picture my sex life when the subject of dommes or BDSM comes up. And it’s not like I’d object to doing a scene like this, it’s just not representative.