Tag: Artwork

Oxymoron?

Writing my last post raised a question for me: Is it ever possible to do a consensual blackmail scene? Isn’t it actually an impossibility?

Consensual blackmail is clearly a well established niche in findomme play. The domme gets hold of embarrassing material, either directly from the submissive or by creating it from their interactions, and uses it to threaten the submissive. It might be used as a one-off scene or part of an ongoing dynamic involving regular payment.

The thing that makes me question the consensual element isn’t the role of the domme or the submissive. It’s the need for a third party. Pretty much by definition there must be someone who’d be shocked by the material exposed. Blackmail isn’t effective because of the dynamic between the blackmailer and blackmailee. It works because it leverages the relationship between the blackmailee and the other people in their life. If they don’t care, there is no leverage. But if they do care, then how is this ever consensual? The need for shock and offense seems an intrinsic part of the recipe.

I guess you could roleplay the idea of exposing the information, with both parties agreeing that the final step would never be taken. However, that doesn’t typically seem to be how these things play out. It’d certainly drain a lot of energy out of the scene. Roleplay typically focuses on the context and setting for the scene, not the execution. A teacher/student scene is a roleplay, but the beating is still real.

This artwork is by Lera Balashova, found on her Dribble site.

The Simp

Internet culture has thrown-up (and I think that’s exactly the right phrase) yet another odd concept – simping. As far as I can tell, from articles like this one, a simp is a man who offers a woman time, attention, money or respect, without getting a ‘sufficient’ recompense.

It’s obviously an idea deeply rooted in misogyny and entitlement,  with heavy incel vibes. Of course those characteristics means that, rather than dying quietly and alone in a forgotten corner of the internet, it has been spread far and wide. This month is apparently ‘No Simp September’, where one of the rules is don’t give money to sex workers.

The whole thing is deeply unpleasant, but the logic of that last bit baffles me. If you’re upset about not getting a return on time or money invested, isn’t the more transactional nature of sex work exactly what you want? Sex workers are typically very clear about the services they offer and you’ll definitely get the chat time or pictures or custom clips or whatever you’ve agreed. Negotiation and mutual agreement on the transaction is baked into the process. I’m certainly not suggesting sex workers should have to put up with douches who believe in this kind of shit, but the inherent logic of their position seems bizarre to me.

I guess when it comes to male entitlement in online cultures I shouldn’t be too surprised that Mr. Logic is no longer home. I suspect in this case Mr Logic has not only left home, but he’s boarded it up, sold all his possessions and is currently living as a end-times prepper in Idaho under the name Captain Beefkillington the Third.

This clearly isn’t a simp in action. She’s very kindly beating and humiliating him in exchange for all those gifts. That seems like a very fair return. The excellent artwork is – of course – by the always amazing Sardax.

A Decade of Femdom Resource

I launched this site exactly ten years ago today. So happy birthday to me and a big thank you to all my readers.

Despite the fact that I’ve been aware for months that I was due to hit this milestone, it still seems quite extraordinary to have made it this far. In that time I’ve written 2,896 posts, which works out to writing a new post approximately every 30 hours for a decade. I’ve been running it for a third of my adult life.

I created the site because the Femdom blog that I wanted to read didn’t exist. I like to think that it now does and all that time hasn’t been wasted. However, it would have died a quick and early death if nobody else had read it. So thanks to everyone out there, readers both past, present and future. It might be a cliche, but it’s also true: I couldn’t have done it without you. Thanks for the clicks, views and comments.

This will not be my final post on the topic. As is my usual style, I feel a series of posts coming on. In the meantime, I’ll finish with some art from Augustine. My very first post  featured his work, so it seems appropriate to return to it a decade later.

Interactive Gags

I’ve been surprised in the past by how much some dommes like throat fucking. From both comments on social media and personal experience it’s clearly a real button pusher. On multiple occasions I’ve been spluttering and coughing on a dildo wondering ‘Why?’

I guess I shouldn’t be too perplexed. Gags are hot, and a strap-on in the mouth is just an interactive form of that. From the domme perspective of intimate penetration and generating a strong reaction, there’s not much too choose between the throat or the anus. In fact, if you want to watch for a subs response, the face works way better. It’s just the submissive’s bad luck that they don’t have a prostate in the back of the throat. Which makes me wonder – was there ever a gay version of deep throat that went with that particular spin?

This is by the artist Skyldfri, sourced from this specific tweet.

Stay Down

This makes for a nice contrast to the image in my previous post. That was all sweetness and vulnerability. This has a far more brutal edge to it. I particularly love their expressions. It’s a nice contrast of gleeful sadism and accepted suffering.

The style of this seems familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen work from this artist elsewhere, but I’m afraid I can’t place the name right now. I discovered it via this tweet.

Updated: By way of a tweet from Sardax I can at least attribute this 70’s Japanese magazine “Fuzoku-kitan.” The actual artist remains unknown.

Full of Character

I love this artwork from @spicycicada for this amount of character she manages to pack into it. Both figures are cute and sexy, but there’s also a real sense of personality there.

Most kinky artwork fires up my brain’s basic pleasure centers and makes me want to spend some quality alone time to really admire it. A smaller amount of artwork fires up the emotional and submissive parts of my brain and triggers a longing to play and connect. This is definitely one of the latter cases.

Original version of image was posted in his tweet.

Dominatrix Without Mercy

I’m continuing both the vintage and Jamie Gillis themes with this post. As I’ve written before, this movie popularized the title ‘Dominatrix’, despite being a really terrible movie. It was basically a regular 70’s porno with some weird sex acts thrown in.

What I admire in hindsight is the marketing of this kind of material. As a teenager it used to drive my crazy. I’d discover what I thought would be some hot kinky material, and it’d turn out to be 30 seconds worth of kink in 90 minutes of nonsense. Now, with more kinky material on the internet than I can shake a whip at, I can admire the chutzpah of the 60’s and 70’s porno salesmen. They repeatedly managed to sell the sizzle without the sausage being anywhere in sight.

Neck Shocks Revisited

Last month I wrote a post linking to an article that advised steering clear of shock collars. If anyone was left in any doubt after that, I would direct your attention to this very long twitter thread from a specialist physiotherapist in neuromusculoskeletal conditions. It comes complete with medical diagrams and descriptions of all the bad things that can happen. I realize I’m somewhat repeating myself here, but I thought the thread had a lot of interesting detail in it.

So if you’re going to shock people then stick to areas below the neck. If you want to play with collars, then leave the shocking part out. After all, they’re pretty sexy even without the electricity. For example, I give you this image from Yumine Guo.

Size Con

The Daily Dot has put up a thoughtful article on the subject of shame and kink. It’s anchored around the authors virtual attendance at SizeCon – a convention for fans of microphilia and macrophilia. I had no idea such a convention existed, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Where there is porn of something, then there will be forums and fansites, and that means meet-ups and conventions can’t be far behind.

One of my takeaways from the article is that being kinky doesn’t always translate into being open minded or tolerant. As the author writes…

Most of the sex clubs, 18+ panels, and sex ed courses I’ve attended make plenty of room for D/s, S/M, and bondage but don’t really care for anything more fantastical. Or if it comes up, it quickly becomes a joke.

Just because people are operating outside mainstream ideas of sexuality, doesn’t mean they’re not going to set up their own alternative hierarchies and gatekeepers. Much like with free speech, it’s easy to be supportive when something fits with your proclivities. The challenge is to be inclusive and supportive when it doesn’t align. I always try to remind myself that me not liking something – whether it’s a particular kink or a food or a movie – is my loss. It’s not a problem with the thing itself.

I don’t have a kink for size, but I do like this image. The tweet I sourced it from credited it to ‘Gibson’ from 1920.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful email I believe the Gibson in question is Charles Dana Gibson, an American illustrator who created the Gibson Girl.