Tag: Artwork

The Pleasure of Play

I was surprised to see a very well known domme state (on twitter) how much she hated the term ‘play’ when it related to kink and femdom. It’s a term I never used in my early days of kinky exploration – because that was such super serious stuff – but it’s one I’ve come to use and like a lot.

I should say out of the gate that of course femdom can be more than just play. It can be a major part of a relationship, a 24×7 dynamic, a way to modify behavior, an ethos, etc. But let’s face reality. The majority of lifestyle femdom activity and almost all of professional femdom activity is a form of play (from the client perspective). And that’s absolutely not a bad thing.

The Oxford English dictionary defines play as – “Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” I think most people’s lives are full of serious and practical activities. Going to work, maintaining a house, caring for a family, paying bills – these are all serious and practical activities. Don’t we deserve a break to enjoy some recreation? And what could be more recreational than pulling on fun outfits, tying people up, teasing their erogenous zones or blowing their minds with intense sensations? There’s a reason pro-dommes use sensual, sadistic and playful to describe possible session dynamics and not words like serious, practical and sensible.

I don’t have a problem with someone wanting to get more out of a femdom dynamic than kinky fun times. I love reading about couples that have taken it beyond that level. But given a world serious lacking in fun, and a culture that has some seriously messed up views on sex and kink, why be against the idea of kink as play? Admittedly, sometimes it can be intense, crazy and freaky, but that doesn’t mean it’s not play.

Here’s a somewhat literal representation of play and femdom. This is from Underling.

Gift Wrapped Toy

There is a school of thought that it’s impossible to be on the receiving end of penetration and remain dominant. This teachers of this school are very stupid. No single activity is inherently dominant or submissive. What matters is the context and the dynamic between the participants.

I actually had a dominant express this thought to me last year, and to my everlasting shame I didn’t challenge her on it. I should have said that she absolutely had the right to draw her personal boundaries wherever she felt comfortable, and define activities however she thought was appropriate, but there was no single global rule about what penetration meant. Unfortunately at the time I was horny, naked and starved of kinky play. So I think my answer was along the lines of “Errrm…. Yeah. I guess. Sure. So when can we start with the beating?” Not exactly my finest hour. I did get the beating, so that was at least a plus, but I felt bad about it afterwards.

I believe this is fan art inspired by a series known as Tower of God.

Watch out for bears

I’m guessing that most of us have used the 1 to 10 pain scale at some point. Maybe to explain to a doctor how exactly that weird thing you did to your back feels. Maybe to explain to a domme how severe that new whippy cane she just got is. Of course, the numbers are all very subjective and personal, so here is one persons attempt to put objective measurements in place.

I think it’s from a medical source rather than a kinky one. It’d be fun to come up with kinky alternatives and pictures for each level, although that’d require way more artistic talent than I posses. I did like one suggested change I saw, which was that 10 should be ‘Stepped on a Lego brick’.

You want it harder, you got it

Here’s a final image to finish this short sequence of pegging artwork posts. I’m afraid I don’t know who are the artist is, but I like how much fun and mutual pleasure they’ve managed to express in this image.

On a personal note, I’m taking some vacation and travelling over the coming week. As is usual with my vacations, kinky shenanigans will feature heavily. Hopefully, I’ll have some interesting experiences to share. I plan to take a laptop with me and keeping blogging, so normal service should continue.

If anyone can help me attribute this image, then please leave a comment with the details.

Pondering the Peg

My previous pegging post got my pondering the peg.  Specifically, why I so rarely request it in a pro-domme session, despite the fact I love the sensations and dynamic it can create. It’s sexy as hell, yet I ask to be whipped, pierced, cut and burnt far more often than I ask to be penetrated.

Partly it’s down to the huge variability in what dommes expect by way of preparation. Some are happy to grab their strap-on at a moments notice, others send a lengthy list of preparations that feature a schedule for enemas and eating. I never know which it’s going to to be, and I never fancy having to deal with the detailed preparation. It’s always worked out just fine for me without it, but I don’t want to have to argue that fact or deal with squirting water up my ass.

Mostly though it’s due to the type of anal play I like. I might be a masochist, but pegging pain is not fun. It’s a red flag, stop the ride, I want to get off, type situation. So the whole pegging porn thing of “I’ll fuck you you up, split you open and ravage your ass with my enormous strap-on” really doesn’t work for me. Penetration is enough in itself. I don’t need to be jack hammered by a knobbly traffic cone to get into the submissive headspace.

I like pegging to be intimate, sexual and pleasurable. And while those things are not always mutually exclusive from professional domination, they’re not typically what  a pro-domme offers. They’re certainly not what I feel comfortable putting on a session request form. So pegging remains an occasional treat to indulge in when the chemistry is right.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

More bad news from D.C.

This report – US internet firms drop opposition and back bill to fight online sex trafficking – sounds like very bad news for sex workers of all types. On the face of it, with no additional context, it appears to have a laudable aim. After all, who could be in favor of sex trafficking? The problem is that government and law enforcement aren’t good at distinguishing between consensual and non-consensual sex work. And that’s putting the best possible spin on it. A more realistic view would be that they deliberately obfuscate regular sex work with sex trafficking.

The problem for the morality police (literal and figurative) is that sex work is a complex issue for many people. There are a lot of shades of grey and not a big majority for interfering with what consensual adults do in their own time. In contrast, attacking sex trafficking – which is by definition non-consensual – is always going to get a lot of support. So claim that all sex work is inherently trafficking and bingo, instant leverage to impose your morality regardless of reality.

The bill amends the Communications Decency Act to remove protection for online service providers if third parties us them to assist, facilitate or support sex trafficking. You don’t have to be Cassandra to see the chilling effect that might have. Given the tendency of law enforcement to define sex trafficking in the broadest possible terms, and given tech firms tendency to want to avoid any kind of sex related controversy, the pressure will be to remove any and all sex work related content. After all, how is Google to know that the pro-domme whose website they’re linking to hasn’t been trafficked? Or what about that pro-dommes web hosting company? Or how about the sites sex workers advertise on (e.g. Slixa or Eros)? It only needs one case that law enforcement can distort into a trafficking scenario and suddenly they’ll be potentially liable.

As you’d expect the Sex Workers Outreach Project is against it as is the Electronic Frontier Foundation.  If you’re a US citizen I’d encourage you to either contact your state representative about the bill or donate to organizations like SWOP or EFF to fight it.

I’ve no idea what image is appropriate for a piece like this, so I’ll leave you with a shot of a woman doing to a man what politicians do to the electorate. The difference being, he’s actually enjoying it.

This is by the artist Sheggy.

Who told you to stop?

This is from a Lezhin webcomic series called Sadistic Beauty, written by Yunhee Woo and drawn by Geumsan Lee. You can see more panels from the same sequence in this tumblr post. I don’t know anything about it, other than what you see here, but this sequence definitely make me want to explore it further. The first few episodes are free, and after that it’s just a buck or so an episode.

Slutty Witch

It’s Halloween in the US, which means only one thing in the paltego household. I’m curled up with a bottle of red wine, safe in the knowledge that there’s a condo concierge, a key locked elevator and a thick door between me and the hordes of ravenous tiny people roaming the streets for candy. Nobody can accuse me of not getting into the festival spirit – namely because I steer clear of everyone on these kind of occasions. I am the E. Scrooge of Halloween, minus the annoying ghosts and the last minute change of heart.

The other thing Halloween means is lots of shots on twitter of professional kinksters wearing fetish gear to parties. That seems like cheating to me. It’d be like Superman turning up at a fancy dress party dressed as Superman. Sure, it’s an unusual outfit, but shouldn’t your costume be something different to what you normally wear? Although come to think of it, Clarke Kent dressing as Superman for the Daily Planet Halloween party would actually be a great costume.

Anyway, for those that do celebrate the festival, I hope you had a great time. I’ll leave you with this from the War and Peas comic series.