Tag: Artwork

Parental Figures

My random thought of the day – originally over a coffee and delicious filled doughnut at my favorite local haunt – was how differently we treat the emotionally loaded words ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ in kink.

In M/f relationships there are obviously some people who like to roleplay actual father/daughter relationships. That squeaks some people out, but it’s clearly a thing for others. However, a lot of the use of the term ‘Daddy’ seems to be about a more abstract concept of a loving authoritarian figure rather than an actual relative. Typically when someone talks about wanting a Daddy-Dom or a Daddy/Baby relationship they’re using it as a shorthand for a style of relationship rather than claiming an incest kink. Based on my limited and entirely anecdotal observations, I’d say this second more abstract usage is a lot more prevalent than the first.

In F/m interactions I never see this dual use. The more abstract idea doesn’t exist. Any reference to ‘Mommy’ is always about incest roleplay of the naughty son who needs disciplining, educating or restraining. I don’t see dominant women describe themselves as ‘Mommies’ and pro-dommes always list ‘Mommy’ under their roleplay sections rather than their style of play. Mommy Dom never gets used as a label in the same abstract way Daddy Dom does.

In fact I’ve even seen some dommes on twitter describe themselves as Daddies via expressions like “Who’s your Daddy now?” and “Daddy’s Home!” I get why they’d do this, but it seems somewhat odd for a female dominant to draw on a male archetype to emphasize dominance.

I’m afraid I’ve no conclusion to finish with. Nor do I have a value judgement about the current state of affairs. I just thought it was an interesting observation to share. Why the difference between the two? Or am I wrong in my anecdotal observations?

Artwork is by Barbara O’Toole who often seemed to specialize in the older women – young man genre.

Happy 2018!

There’s still a few hours to go in Seattle, but given I plan to spend most of them with a glass of champagne in my hand, I thought I’d put a post up ahead of schedule. Wherever you are, and however you plan to celebrate, I wish you a happy and kinky 2018.

The image is of course from the incomparable Sardax. If you’re in the doghouse after screwing up a special someone’s Christmas gift, maybe consider gifting them an illustrated copy of the classic Venus in Furs by way of apology?

The Big Boot

This is one for fans of boots and bondage – two things that aren’t normally combined in this way. I’ve heard of thigh highs, but never armpit highs. Now I come to think of it, I’m surprised no enterprising fetish manufacturer has produced a leather bondage sack that’s shaped like a boot. I can’t think it’d be to hard to modify a standard sleep sack to look like one. The intersection between bondage lover and boot lover is probably a decent size market.

I found this via Pitt Prickel’s twitter feed, where it’s attributed to Rudolf Schlichter.

The Pleasure of Play

I was surprised to see a very well known domme state (on twitter) how much she hated the term ‘play’ when it related to kink and femdom. It’s a term I never used in my early days of kinky exploration – because that was such super serious stuff – but it’s one I’ve come to use and like a lot.

I should say out of the gate that of course femdom can be more than just play. It can be a major part of a relationship, a 24×7 dynamic, a way to modify behavior, an ethos, etc. But let’s face reality. The majority of lifestyle femdom activity and almost all of professional femdom activity is a form of play (from the client perspective). And that’s absolutely not a bad thing.

The Oxford English dictionary defines play as – “Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” I think most people’s lives are full of serious and practical activities. Going to work, maintaining a house, caring for a family, paying bills – these are all serious and practical activities. Don’t we deserve a break to enjoy some recreation? And what could be more recreational than pulling on fun outfits, tying people up, teasing their erogenous zones or blowing their minds with intense sensations? There’s a reason pro-dommes use sensual, sadistic and playful to describe possible session dynamics and not words like serious, practical and sensible.

I don’t have a problem with someone wanting to get more out of a femdom dynamic than kinky fun times. I love reading about couples that have taken it beyond that level. But given a world serious lacking in fun, and a culture that has some seriously messed up views on sex and kink, why be against the idea of kink as play? Admittedly, sometimes it can be intense, crazy and freaky, but that doesn’t mean it’s not play.

Here’s a somewhat literal representation of play and femdom. This is from Underling.

Gift Wrapped Toy

There is a school of thought that it’s impossible to be on the receiving end of penetration and remain dominant. This teachers of this school are very stupid. No single activity is inherently dominant or submissive. What matters is the context and the dynamic between the participants.

I actually had a dominant express this thought to me last year, and to my everlasting shame I didn’t challenge her on it. I should have said that she absolutely had the right to draw her personal boundaries wherever she felt comfortable, and define activities however she thought was appropriate, but there was no single global rule about what penetration meant. Unfortunately at the time I was horny, naked and starved of kinky play. So I think my answer was along the lines of “Errrm…. Yeah. I guess. Sure. So when can we start with the beating?” Not exactly my finest hour. I did get the beating, so that was at least a plus, but I felt bad about it afterwards.

I believe this is fan art inspired by a series known as Tower of God.

Watch out for bears

I’m guessing that most of us have used the 1 to 10 pain scale at some point. Maybe to explain to a doctor how exactly that weird thing you did to your back feels. Maybe to explain to a domme how severe that new whippy cane she just got is. Of course, the numbers are all very subjective and personal, so here is one persons attempt to put objective measurements in place.

I think it’s from a medical source rather than a kinky one. It’d be fun to come up with kinky alternatives and pictures for each level, although that’d require way more artistic talent than I posses. I did like one suggested change I saw, which was that 10 should be ‘Stepped on a Lego brick’.

You want it harder, you got it

Here’s a final image to finish this short sequence of pegging artwork posts. I’m afraid I don’t know who are the artist is, but I like how much fun and mutual pleasure they’ve managed to express in this image.

On a personal note, I’m taking some vacation and travelling over the coming week. As is usual with my vacations, kinky shenanigans will feature heavily. Hopefully, I’ll have some interesting experiences to share. I plan to take a laptop with me and keeping blogging, so normal service should continue.

If anyone can help me attribute this image, then please leave a comment with the details.

Pondering the Peg

My previous pegging post got my pondering the peg.  Specifically, why I so rarely request it in a pro-domme session, despite the fact I love the sensations and dynamic it can create. It’s sexy as hell, yet I ask to be whipped, pierced, cut and burnt far more often than I ask to be penetrated.

Partly it’s down to the huge variability in what dommes expect by way of preparation. Some are happy to grab their strap-on at a moments notice, others send a lengthy list of preparations that feature a schedule for enemas and eating. I never know which it’s going to to be, and I never fancy having to deal with the detailed preparation. It’s always worked out just fine for me without it, but I don’t want to have to argue that fact or deal with squirting water up my ass.

Mostly though it’s due to the type of anal play I like. I might be a masochist, but pegging pain is not fun. It’s a red flag, stop the ride, I want to get off, type situation. So the whole pegging porn thing of “I’ll fuck you you up, split you open and ravage your ass with my enormous strap-on” really doesn’t work for me. Penetration is enough in itself. I don’t need to be jack hammered by a knobbly traffic cone to get into the submissive headspace.

I like pegging to be intimate, sexual and pleasurable. And while those things are not always mutually exclusive from professional domination, they’re not typically what  a pro-domme offers. They’re certainly not what I feel comfortable putting on a session request form. So pegging remains an occasional treat to indulge in when the chemistry is right.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.