Food for thought (cont)

After that brief interlude, I’m back with a couple of final thoughts on the case of Gilberto Valle. If you missed the previous post then go read it from a couple of days ago. I’m not going to repeat myself, damn it.

One thing that repeatedly came up in the documentary on him was a variation on the slippery slope argument. Several people, including one of the jurors, expressed the idea that he was inevitably building up to committing a crime. Having started looking at sexually violent images, and moved onto discussion and chat, he’d feel ultimately compelled to up the stakes for bigger and bigger thrills. It’s an argument I’ve heard before about kink and it always strikes me as ridiculous.

In non-sexual areas we never assume people will lose all reason and control when exploring their passions. Imagine someone who is keen on flying. They start with buying a few magazines and video games on the subject. Then they begin visiting airshows and hanging out on pilot forums. Eventually they decide to get their private pilot license and fly for fun at weekends. Nobody is going to argue that the inevitable next step will be to sneak onto an military airbase and steal a fighter jet. That would certainly be a bigger thriller (and one guy even did it once), but we don’t assume the desire to fly will rob someone of their rationality. We typically explore an interest till we reach some sane limit based on cost, availability, legality, risk, etc.

Yet when it comes to sex a lot of people seem to believe that either you have a stable list of kinks and interests, or that you’re on one long slide into the abyss of depravity and illegality. I think it’s because people can only imagine two options. Either you’re satisfied with what you’ve got, or are never fully satisfied, and must therefore seek out stronger and edgier thrills. They have difficulty imagining more fluid and variable sexual interests that aren’t simply a constant escalation of sensation. Of course the situation isn’t helped by some crazy people who do escalate and go on to do horribly depraved things. But exception cases are always that – exceptional. It’s possible to explore non-consensual fantasies without ending up a rapist or cannibal, much as it’s possible to enjoy fantasies of medieval battles without hacking people to death with a sword.

I’ve no idea what was going on in Gilberto Valle’s head when he was chatting online. They were disturbing conversations, and I don’t think it was wise or ethical to feature his wife and friends in the chats. But much like free speech, it’s easy to defend something you agree with, harder and yet far more important to defend it when you don’t. In drawing a line between conspiracy and fantasy, we should always err towards giving the defendant the benefit of the doubt.

cat_and_spider_mouse
This image is from vore fan comics on DeviantArt and entitled Cat and Spider Mouse. Vorarephilia, as described by wikipedia, is the erotic desire to be consumed by, or sometimes to personally consume, another person or creature. Vore fantasies are separated from sexual cannibalism because the living victim is normally swallowed whole. Apologies if anyone is disturbed by the image, but vore does occasionally show up in femdom artwork, and it seemed appropriate given the original subject matter.

Wishing everyone all the best

If you celebrate Christmas, then I wish you a happy Christmas. If you just enjoy the holiday period this time of year, then I wish you happy holidays. And if you don’t do either of those, then I just wish you all the best and hope you’ve enjoyed my blog over the last year.

The image below is by Red Rump and was originally posted by him for Christmas 2013. Sadly his blog seems to have gone dormant for the last 6 months or so. I can only hope he’s in good health and that he returns with some more excellent artwork in the new year.

Christmas_RR

Decisions, decisions

She looks like someone who, when faced with many good choices, can’t quite decide what to do first. He might not know exactly what’s coming next but, judging by his smile, he’s looking forward to whatever it is. As multiple choice scenarios go, this certainly isn’t a bad one to be facing.

Decisions
I’m afraid I’ve no idea who the artist for this is. If you can help me attribute it correctly then please leave a comment.

Happy Thanksgiving

In America it’s the Thanksgiving holiday this week. As a British person in the States it feels like two random days off for no reasons whatsoever, given the holiday has zero emotional connection for me. Not that I’m going to complain about two free days off work. I can slack off with the best of them. I also think that one particular British person came up with the best quote about the holiday in today’s political climate, along with one of the best arguments on risk I’ve seen in a while.

For an image I’m going to steal from another British gentleman. In this case it’s the twitter feed of Sardax who featured this image a couple of years ago. I hope all my American readers have a fabulous turkey day. For everyone else, take comfort in the fact that Thursday is awfully close to Friday, which means the weekend is just around the corner.

PilgrimIf you like this image then please consider subscribing to Sardax’s main site.

Pony puzzle

This is my last post on the pony boy theme. It’s also an image that slightly puzzles me. At a casual glance the style of the artwork looks like Shiniez. However, the lettering style and crude writing doesn’t seem like him. He also doesn’t tend to feature F/m dynamics. Every attribution I’ve seen for this image on random tumblrs claims that it’s his, yet I couldn’t locate it on his deviant art site. So either it’s someone copying his style, or an image of his that has been modified, or I’m mistaken and it’s really his work. If anyone can solve my puzzle, then feel free to leave a comment and help me out.

Ponyboy

Coffee and cunnilingus

I think all four drawings here are cute, but I particularly like the first one. Some people like their coffee first thing in the morning. Personally I like it as a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Whatever the time, I have to think that oral sex would be a ‘Nice’ bonus to add to it. Maybe Starbucks should put this drawing on all their cups for the new year?

Coffee and cunnilingusThere’s no artist signature on the image (or somebody has chopped it off) and I didn’t find anything useful via a reverse image search. If anyone can help me attribute it to the original creator then please leave a comment or drop me an email.

Vintage BDSM prints?

One of the dommes I’ve played with in recent years has posed a question which, for the moment, has me stumped. She’s decorating a space and wondered where she could buy vintage BDSM prints or photographs. She’s looking for something more artist than pornographic, although of course what was porn in the last century can be art in the next! I’ve no shortage of sources for these kind of images online, but I’m not exactly sure where you can buy high quality prints to hang on the wall. Can anyone out there help?

Obviously for contemporary commissioned artwork I’d recommend Sardax. For a random grab bag of who knows what you’ll get, there’s always ebay. But I’m unaware of a site specializing in vintage BDSM prints. It’s also a hard thing to search for, as porn tends to dominate the results. The best I could find was this, which offers modern prints but nothing vintage. So does anyone have any pointers to help out? Feel free to leave a comment or email me.

PuppetI’m not sure if the above image is the kind of thing this lady is searching for but, as an example of vintage artwork with a kinky twist, I like it.

Fings I ave learnt

I believe it’s customary to reflect back on lessons learned when reaching a significant milestone. Given this blog just reached its 5 year birthday, it seems fitting to reflect on a few learning points I’ve taken away in that time.

  1. If you use your phone to take session photographs, don’t give it to friends when they want to browse your holiday snaps. It’s possible they’ll side swipe right past that charming little restaurant you found and right onto a close-up of a cock with needles in it.
  2. Never schedule a dermatology appointment the day after a scene. Cane and clamp marks take longer than 24 hours to fade.
  3. It’s unwise to tell a domme to ‘avoid X and Y, but anything else is fair game’. The set of things that are not X or Y is really big and contains much that is painful.
  4. Ninety five percent of dommes will immediately reach for a cane when they discover you have a long flight coming up in a few hours. They’ll also giggle about how painful it’ll be to sit down afterwards.
  5. It’s possible to become blasĂ© about discussing the exact type of anal play you enjoy with a unfamiliar lady you met just 10 minutes earlier. This remains true even if you’re a generally shy person who can get embarrassed while watching TV on your own.
  6. Hot wax gets everywhere. You could be pressure washed down by a team of expert nurses just minutes after hot wax play, and still be finding wax in odd crevices days later.
  7. When a domme asks ‘Have you tried activity X?’ do not take that opportunity to brag about what an intense and crazy amount of X you did in a previous session. That will be seen as a challenge that you can only lose.

Hopefully that’ll aid you all on your kinky journeys. In the meantime, like this young lady, I’m off to raise a glass to mine.

RaisedGlassI believe this is by the NZ artist Archia!, and is fan art from the TV show Hannibal.