Tag: Bondage

My Bad

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. This might have been the longest I’ve ever gone without a post. I was staying with friends in a fancy Scottish manor house. It had relaxing couches and people who’d supply snacks and a bottle of scotch at any hour of the day. That is great for happy, drunken social time, but bad for my liver and writing blog posts.

Being back in London hasn’t been much better so far, but hopefully normal service should be resumed soon. Until then I’ll leave you with this image from a tweet by maid marta. The artist is identified as Caregan. As someone who has spent a fair amount of time recently dealing with travel security, this has a particular appeal. Sadly, none of my interactions have been quite this exciting.

Ending a Relationship

Autostraddle has an article on a topic that is very rarely covered in kink – The Unique Grief of Ending a BDSM Relationship. There are plenty of articles on starting BDSM relationships, and a far great number on actual kinky play within them, but very few cover the complexity and emotions in an ending. It’s written by a female dominant, but is less about the specifics of femdom and more about the dynamics that might affect the end of any kinky relationship. Not exactly sexy fun stuff, but interesting and well written.

This image is by Dirk Hooper and was created for Mistress Adreena. According to the original tweet it represents a happy memory from a session. I thought it was touching and sweet, but the emotion it captures also make it work in the context of this post. You can see more from Dirk Hooper at his site here.

Nobody Cares

My random thought of the day: Never stress about walking up to a BDSM playspace. As long as you’re dressed like conventionally – which you absolutely should be – then nobody knows or cares what you’re doing. Passersby will just assume you’re a regular person doing regular person things.

I’ve done a lot of sessions at a lot of different spaces in many different cities. I’ve never once had a random stranger shout “Hey everyone – look at that pervert! He’s off to do weird freaky stuff in that building.” From the outside playspaces look anonymous. 99.9% of people will walk past and have no idea they’re there. Over the years I’ve personally had exactly zero awkward moments getting into and out of playspaces.

It’s also important to keep in mind that the domme is highly incentivized to keep the entrance routine under the radar. After all, she is the one regularly in the space and dealing with a constant stream of clients. No domme is going to appear at the doorway in full fetish gear and loudly command her clients to get to their knees in full view of the street. Instead the traditional entrance routine is the sideways slide, slipping through a door held only slight ajar, concealing both the domme and the hallway decorations from any random passersby.

The discrepancy between the outside of playspaces and the inside is always something that brings a smile to my face. I love that the outside can be a regular townhouse on a regular street, and inside a scene like this one can be unfolding….

This is Domina Yuki and Lucy Sweetkill playing earlier this year in a lovely San Francisco space I know well.

Bound by Hinako

Here’s the final entry into my trio of bondage themed posts. This beautiful rope work is from Mistress Hinako. There’s some lovely details in here, like the rope across the palms that is taken up into a tie across the foot. It doesn’t look like much when you first glance at the photograph, but I’m sure the person experiencing it first hand is very aware of it.

If you’d like to see more from Mistress Hinako, she has a lot of high quality content available here.

Bound by Troy

After my last post featuring bondage by a virtuoso of the art, I thought I’d keep the theme going with another equally accomplished rigger. This is a scene featuring Troy Orleans, sourced from her twitter feed. It was actually Troy who connected Elise and myself, so it seems particularly appropriate as a follow-up post.

I love the contrast in this image between the heavily bound naked man and Troy carefully contemplating what to introduce into the scene next. Oddly enough the man is @for_heavy, who was also the man in yesterday’s photograph with Elise. That’s a total coincidence – I picked the image out before I realized that – but it does speak to his excellent taste in the tops he plays with. Photograph was shot by @marcuslikesit.

Troy Orleans is a pro-domme based out of NYC. If you’d like to see more of her beautiful bondage material, then she has an OnlyFans site here. If you’re like to see her in person, then her professional site is here. You can also see more bondage material from @for_heavy at his site here.

Bound by Elise

Elise Graves was shooting for House of Gord in Seattle this week, and I was lucky enough to have the chance to session with her before she returned to the Bay area. Rope bondage, electricity, clamps and tickling were all the agenda, and much fun was had by all.

One of the great things about playing with different dommes is getting to observe many different styles of play. For the majority of dommes I play with, bondage is a complement to the main activity rather than a focus in itself. They want to make sure I’m not going to wriggle away, but once that’s achieved the emphasis shifts to hitting, poking and prodding. Elise tends to switch that up, where the bondage is the main focus, and the additional activities used to emphasize and highlight the restraint. Often in sessions I can almost forget I’m  bound, but there’s zero danger of that happening when Elise in charge. I’m always very aware of my own body and its interaction with the space around it.

Personally I find these kind of sessions very challenging but also very rewarding. It’s easy to lie back in a comfortable position and simply soak up intense sensations. In contrast, when bondage is used to stress and control the body, it forces me to think a lot more and to be very aware of how my body is reacting to it. I recently wrote about in session communication (post one and two), and I think bondage focused sessions really lean on that skill set for the submissive, even for the relatively easy positions I was put into. Awareness of your physical limits and tolerances becomes particularly important.

This is from Elise’s twitter feed and taken from a shoot for her excellent Bondage Liberation site. Elise is typically very gleeful and happy when topping and I think this image really captures that. The male model is @for_heavy. If you’d like to play with Elise in person, then her professional site is here.

Beautiful Button Pusher

I blogged a few months back that my primary kink wasn’t a specific BDSM activity or look, but a contrast in dynamics. This image from Mistress An Li is one of the best examples I’ve seen of capturing contrasts. There’s his exposed white flesh against the black restraints and her dark outfit. The tenderness of the embrace against the severity of the humbler. The comfort of the bed against the tightness of the single arm. I picture him twisting and quivering while she strokes him gently. His moans against her murmured encouragement. It’s one of the hottest images I’ve stumbled on in a good long while.

This was from Daddy An Li’s twitter feed.

Never Fails

One constant of any trip I arrange is that I’ll always just miss somebody that I’d really like to have intersected with. It doesn’t matter when or where, I’m guaranteed to buy tickets, arrange hotels and then realize I should have picked slightly different dates. It’s one of those immutable rules of life, like toast landing butter side down and USB plugs never going in the first way round you try them.

For my upcoming UK trip in August, my big miss will be Mistress Natsukiss who is going to be in London doing a Club Pedestal show in September. I’ve featured Mistress Natsukiss in past posts (for example here and here). She’s someone whose style and approach to femdom has always caught my eye, but I never thought I’d ever be lucky enough to watch her in action. It turns out I was actually right about that, but only just. For anyone lucky enough to actually be in London in September, then I think it’d be a show well worth attending.

These two beautiful shots are both from the twitter feed of Mistress Natsukiss. Her main web site is here. Check out the Club Pedestal site or follow their twitter feed for event tickets.

Tender Moment

Here’s something tender and sweet to start the week. Not sure of the original source, although I suspect Japanese fan art of some kind.

I do actually have a bunch of longer posts written in my head, but I’m lacking the time to do the small but important part where thoughts get translated into keyboard impressions. Part of that time crunch is because I’m organizing a trip back to the old country, and trying to solve for all necessary planning constraints there is breaking my brain. I need to visit friends in London, spend time with family in the Midlands, attend a birthday event in Scotland and in the middle of all that, jam as much kinky play in as I think I can get away with. Some creative storytelling might be necessary in order for me to sneak away for a beating or three. It’s all a lot easier on the West coast when my relatives are 5,000 miles away.

Replacing Max

One of the oldest discussion forums for femdom, and particularly professional femdom, has been The Hang at Max Fisch. Sadly, these days it seems somewhat neglected and forlorn. Whoever owns it has pretty much left it to rot, and while it still kind of works on a good day, the load times are long, the moderation AWOL and the support pretty much non-existent.

Anyone looking for a working alternative that doesn’t actually look all that different might want to check out The Buzz at domina.ms. They’re using what looks like exactly the same forum software with many of the same forums, but running on decent hardware and with proper moderation and support. It’s not as busy as Max used to be, but as The Hang continues to decline, I’d expect and hope it’d pick up more participants. I just created my account there.

If anyone has any other suggestions for active and well managed femdom forums, then feel free to leave me a comment and I’ll take a look and potentially link to them. Running this site takes up most of my kinky writing energy, so I don’t tend to do a lot of forum participation, but I do enjoy browsing them and linking to interesting posts I find.

One of the more frequent domme posters on The Buzz is Mistress Ayn (594 posts according to her profile). She’s shown here in a beautiful recent portrait by the inimitable Sardax. If you’d like to see her in person, she’s based in Atlanta.