Tag: Bondage

Fantasy Feedback

I received an interesting comment in response to my recent post on the slippery slope of kinky fantasy. That’s sadly not an actual slope involving a lot of lube and frothy frottage fun, but instead the idea that indulging light kinky fantasies inevitably leads to heavier and heavier ones. The comment from Bb was that her fantasies had actually gone in the opposite direction. Watching and engaging in physical BDSM play had moderated her fantasies, resulting in a softer approach.

That got me thinking about the interplay between fantasies and reality. I wonder if anyone has ever studied people who just fantasize versus people who fantasize and use porn versus people who physically play and explore their fantasizes? I think there’s an intuition from the more socially conservative crowd that moving from fantasy to enacting a fantasy is part of the that slippery slope that leads to ever further depravity. In actuality kinky play and its interaction with our imagination is a lot more complex than that. It seems to be a circular feedback mechanism with the two playing off each other in non-obvious and complex ways.

Personally, physical play has clearly altered my fantasies in interesting ways. For example, I used to fantasize a lot about corporal play, and now almost never do. I still like doing it in sessions. I like the headspace it creates, the marks it leaves and the drama of it. But it’s rarely something I now dwell on in sexy alone time. On the flip side, my bondage fantasies have got far more elaborate over time. I think that’s probably because I’m physically limited to what I can do with a screwy lower back and a minor case of claustrophobia. Fantasy therefore fills in for me in an area I can only partially explore.

People worry that indulging a fantasy in reality will escalate it. My experience has almost been the opposite. Either the fantasy becomes grounded and therefore less compelling to fantasize about (while still being fun to do) or it becomes differentiated from reality, and therefore indulged in a more abstract way. I can enjoy it as a pure fiction of my own creation, rather than something I might actually want to try one day.

Talking of elaborate fantasy bondage, here’s a nice example from Jim of Switzerland.

Precision Peeing

Something tells me that the artist behind this drawing has never been on the end of a golden shower. Women’s bodies are truly amazing and capable of incredibly things, but they’re never going to be taking lead place in a ‘writing your name in the snow’ competition. Let alone accurately hitting an open mouth from several feet away. As I’m sure lovers of watersports with CIS women will affirm, if you’re not very close or using some sort of physical device to direct the flow, you’re going to get a face liberally sprayed with pee. Just lie back, enjoy it and jump in the shower later.

This is from a tweet by maid marta.

Rope Mummification

This image by Mistress Hinako makes for a nice complement to yesterday’s post. I think if you simply described the setup of the two images to someone they’d assume the wall bondage with straps was the realistic one and the man mummified entirely in rope was the fantasy artwork. Yet with this Mistress Hinako has managed to pull off one of the more spectacular rope bondage scenes I’ve seen in a long while.

Much as I love the aesthetics of this, I’m not sure I’d want to be the submissive. According to the blog post it took about 2 hours to create this set-up. Plastic wrap or bondage tape might not look as cool, but they’re definitely a faster way to mummify someone. I’d rather save my play time for the post bondage torture. But for all the rope sluts out there, this would definitely be an unforgettable scene.

You can see more shots of the rope mummy from Mistress Hinako’s blog post. If you’d like to see movies of her in action, then her clips store is here.

Fastened to a Wall

There’s a common theory from the anti-porn crowd that the more porn you look at the more extreme your tastes will be. It’s a typical slippery slope argument. One day you’re getting off to 60’s playboy covers, and a few months later you’re tracking down pictures of oiled up Roman gladiators doing unspeakable things to each other with a rubber trident and a well trained octopus.

It’s obviously bullshit, as my 20+ years of looking at naughty pictures demonstrates. My tastes may have broadened, but they haven’t got significantly more depraved. In fact, in many ways I’ve got more critical of unrealistic or extreme imagery. I’m now drawn to scenes that have a stronger connection with reality and ones that I can almost imagine doing myself.

For example, what caught my eye in this image was the carefully placed padded bolster in his back and the tight but not too tight straps. It’s very hot bondage, that’s certainly difficult to pull off this neatly in reality, but it’s not crazy or an impossible physical position. Even his verbalization, with the moans and coughs through the bit gag is relatable.

I’m afraid I don’t know the original artist for this work. As usual, if you can help me attribute it, then please leave a comment.

Weirdly Hot

After my strangely sexy post of last week, today I have something that’s weirdly hot. I’m not particularly into foot torture and yet this shot, by Mistress Hinako, really grabs me. I think it’s the contrast between the heavy restrictive rope bondage and the artfully placed clothespins. It’s a beautifully balanced pose and picture. Severity around the torso and delicacy around the toes.

This is from this tweet by Mistress Hinako and also her new blog post, which features more images from the same session. If you’d like to see more of her work, she has a members site here.

Warning Signs

I thought I’d continue my previous post on the incompetent domme and the site she shoots for with a few follow-up thoughts.

Firstly, always be alert for warning signs in any kinky interaction – whether it’s playing in person or simply buying someone’s BDSM porn. I remember seeing the site in question advertise for film slaves with the condition that they’d only waive the usual session fee if the slave didn’t use their safeword. That’s obviously a horrible incentive structure. The submissive is liable to push beyond safe limits to avoid paying and the domme is encouraged to push hard in order to save the company money. I should have called them out when I saw that, but somehow it slid past me at the time.

Secondly, be smart about where you consume porn from. If you like a lot of low risk activities, then it probably doesn’t matter who the domme is. Femdom Empire features a lot of crossover models from the regular porn world,  but they tend to stick to activities like pegging, foot worship, facesitting, tease/denial. etc. I’ve never seen them do extreme scenes that create non-trivial risk. On the other hand, if you’re more into things like impact play, heavy bondage, CBT and medical play, then pick sites that feature a lot of well known pro-dommes. For example, The English Mansion site definitely features edgier activities, but it’s also run by a well known domme and features a lot of top professionals.

Finally, if you’re a submissive, don’t think you can delegate all safety concerns to the domme. Playing safely is a joint responsibility. If you’re concerned about raising issues mid-scene – which I’ll admit can be difficult – then build into more intense play slowly over time. That makes it much easier to adjust course or raise concerns between sessions when you’re in a clearer headspace. I’d rather look forward to playing again and pushing just a little further than leave a scene with an injury or a messed up mental state.

Talking of the English Mansion, heavier activities and professionals who know what they’re doing, here’s Domina Liza in a shoot for them. She’s certainly someone who knows how to correctly wield a single tail.

Her Delicate Touch

Here’s something sweet to start the week. This image is from the SF based pro-domme Mistress Wild Iris, via this tweet.

Ironically, I find one of the things that makes a great pro-domme isn’t their ability to crack a single tail, or rig a fiendishly complex bondage scene, it’s the delicate touches they bring to their scenes. It’s knowing when the submissive needs a grounding contact to bring them back. The breath of a whisper into their ear. The press of a sensual warm body on a bruised back. It’s that momentary physical and emotional connection that allows intense sensations to be sublimated into a D/s dynamic.

You can see more from Mistress Wild Iris on her twitter feed.

John Willie

In writing yesterday’s post I stumbled across this page, featuring a series of photographs by John Willie. I primarily knew about Willie as an artist via his famous Sweet Gwendoline series. I hadn’t realized quite what a talented and prolific photographer he’d been. The photographs featured have a surprisingly modern feel to their kinky dynamic. Perhaps the biggest difference is in the type of rope used and the style of bondage. These days everyone has access to fancy dyed bondage rope and tutorials on artistic knots and fancy rigging techniques. Back in the 40’s and the 50’s they were figuring it out for themselves as they went along.

If you’re a fan of his imagery, you might like to know there’s a hardcover book of his photographs available. I’ve just ordered a copy for myself. It’ll sit nicely on my bookshelf next to Eric Kroll’s book on Eric Stanton.

Captive

Something simple and sexy to start the week. Sadly I’ve no idea who the artist is or where this is from. I get a bit of a deep South jail vibe from it. Maybe a no good country boy bootlegger with the Sheriff’s daughter? She plays the innocent, but has a devilish streak a mile wide.

Taking a firm grip

I don’t think this rather sexy image needs any additional commentary from me. Which is probably fortunate, as it’s some ungodly early hour in the morning and I really should go to bed. Apparently in any one evening I can either cook a fancy meal or write a decent length blog post, but not both.

This is by Lilith Darkmoon, a pro-domme based out of the Netherlands.