Desert Domination

I have several ideas for longer posts I want to write, but an unfortunate lack of time to do the actual writing. So I’m going to cheat again today, and simply feature some lovely content from another domme I’d love to renew my acquaintance with. This is from a recent gallery update from Mistress Iris and I spotted it via her twitter feed.

These kind of scenes might not be what you’d aim for in a typical play session, but I do appreciate the effort to do something both unusual and visual striking. I don’t really want to be whipped and abandoned in the desert, but I do want to play with the kind of domme who’ll use her time and imagination to put together something creative beyond the typical ‘sneering domme in fetish gear’ shots.

You can see more shots from this scene on her gallery pages. While Mistress Iris is undoubtedly beautiful, that car is pretty damn sexy as well. I love old school convertibles.

Relaxed Selfie

It has been a while since I played, and a while I traveled anywhere. I don’t have an immediate plan to fix that, but I’m beginning to feel the urge to put one together. Browsing the twitter feeds of some of my favorite dommes and seeing their session snaps is certainly adding fuel to that fire. For example, the shot is from Domina Yuki’s twitter, and looks like a very fun way to spend an afternoon.

Do no harm

I’ve joked with dommes in the past that if I end up in an emergency room as a result of a scene, they’ll need to come along and explain what the hell was going on. It’s a fair division of responsibilities. I’m good at lying down and moaning in pain. They’re good at taking charge and giving instructions. That’ll be true both whether we’re mid-play scene or mid-medical emergency. Everyone should play to their strengths.

While I’ve fortunately not (yet) ended up in an ER, I don’t think I’d have any hesitation about using one if necessary. I figure anyone working there has probably seen far crazier things than anything I’m likely to turn up with. However, things aren’t always so simple, as this Daily Beast article on the Tokyo BDSM scene describes. It features an interview with a man who acts as an informal doctor to injured kinksters in Japan. Intense and physical activities will always carry the possibility of injury, and that’s heightened when sexual desires are screwing around with people’s risk analysis ability. Unfortunately, many participants in that scene find taking an injury to their regular doctor problematic.

“Some are not sure Japan’s national health insurance will cover their injuries. Things like damaged nipples are not easy to explain.

There are many reasons those who are in the fetish world as a business hesitate to go see a real doctor—shame and fear for their professional reputation,” the Doctor says. “They also worry that the police will treat the case as an assault rather than an accident between two consenting adults. Of course, the issue of losing face is huge too.”

He has therefore filled a niche treating injuries in an unofficial capacity, doing demonstrations and giving talks on safe kinky practices.

From an outsiders perspective, looking at the erotica they produce and the public face of kink in Japan, it’s tempting to think their culture is much more accepting of BDSM. Articles like this one (and past examples like this) show the true picture is considerably more complex.

The article also interviews Leigh Leh Lee who, among other things, works as a dominatrix and rigger. This cute couple is her work as featured on her instagram feed.

The ultimate kinky garage sale

Earlier this year, on the news that Kink.com was closing down its armory space in San Francisco, I pondered on what they’d do with all their fancy furniture. Now it seems we have the answer – sell it on craigslist. Or, more accurately, advertise on craigslist that they’re hosting a viewing and sale on the afternoon of the 15th.

It makes me wish I lived in San Francisco. I’d love to drop by and pick up something. I can only hope some of the furniture and toys finds its way into dungeons I frequent down there. For example, this cock pillory looks like it might be rather fun.

Damiana Chi on Buzzfeed

Buzzfeed generally produces a fair amount of dreck, but this video featuring a day in the life of Damiana Chi is pretty good (Facebook version here). Produced by Tania Safi, its features Damiana Chi, her sister Jezebel Chi and a variety of their submissives and slaves. I particularly liked Max and Roxy, whose blissed out happy sub expressions mirror the way I feel when I play.

The above image of Damiana indulging in some rope bondage isn’t from the video, but from her twitter feed. She’s an LA based pro-domme, and if you’re interested in a session, then her professional site is here.

Twitter?

I’m beginning to think I should put together a resource page for Twitter links. I’m generally not a big user of social media, but I’ve come to like it for a few select use cases. I find Twitter to be oddly good for politics and dominatrices.

Politics because it works well as a link aggregator. Following just a handful of journalists gives me pointers to a wide variety of articles with some minimal commentary. For pro-dommes it seems to have taken the place of blogs and forums as a way to share photographs, thoughts and travel plans. I guess because it’s low friction and quick to tweet something from a smartphone. It’s particularly handy for snapping images of scenes or new equipment.

A few random twitter feeds I’ve browsed through in recent days includes Isabella Sinclaire, Domina Yuki, Morgana Maye, Mistress Servalan, Lucy Sweetkill and Lady Mephista. If there’s interest in my readers in putting together a more structured list of domme’s twitter feeds then let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

This is from Lady Mephista’s Twitter. She’s a Berlin based pro-domme whose regular site can be found here.

Brain versus no brain

I was thinking today about two different styles of play that rarely get talked about. I say styles of play, but really they’re more categories that specific play styles can be grouped into. I’m not sure they have a well defined and widely understood name, so I’m just going to call them brain and no brain.

No brain is play where the submissive only has to exist and react to the domme in instinctual ways. Simply to be there, in the moment, and twitch, moan or scream is enough. The domme is still gathering feedback to guide the scene, but the submissive can be floating away in subspace, zoning out or trying to push through a pain threshold. There’s no higher level though process needed.

In contrast, play in the brain category involves the domme engaging with the submissive at a more conscious level. She wants to pull him back into the present, catch him off guard and generally stop him relaxing into the scene. This often involves asking questions, or have him verbalize what’s happening, or define some protocol to be followed. There’s an element of right and wrong for the submissive, with the heightened anxiety that brings.

Some styles of play naturally align with one or other of these categories. Mummification and sensory deprivation clearly align well with no brain. Predicament bondage is very much a brain thing. Other styles can work well in either. A domme could cane a submissive and let them focus on processing the sensations while draped comfortably over a padded bench. That would be a no brain approach. Alternatively, she could make him hold a particular pose and count the strokes, while trying to make him slip-up on the count. That’d clearly be in the brain category.

I mention all this because it struck me that these two categories rarely get talked about directly, but actually make a big difference to how play unfolds. In negotiating scenes I’ve seen lots of lists for activities to try and lots of suggestions for different roleplay scenarios, but nobody has ever asked me if I like to use my brain in a scene or not. In my experience, while no domme plays exclusively in one category, a dommes natural style does tend to align more towards one than the other. Some like a lot of verbal interaction and to create a D/s dynamic by keeping the submissive off balance, either literally or figuratively. Others are happy to work more instinctually, and let the submissive drift off into subspace as they build layers of sensation.

I personally prefer a no brain approach to sessions. I like to unplug my conscious mind  and relax into whatever is about to happen. I think I might start calling that preference out in scene negotiation. Maybe it’s something for others to think about in their scene planning?

This rather elaborate predicament bondage set-up by Mistress Sidonia is definitely in the brain category. Hard to relax when you’re rigged up like that. You can see more of Mistress Sidonia’s devilish predicaments in this post at the English Mansion blog.

So it’s come to this

This is, I swear, my last retrospective post to commemorate my 2000th post anniversary. If I’m not careful I’m going to be still writing about it when post 3000 rolls around. So normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Until then, let me finish by sharing links to some of my favorite past posts. These are the ones I most enjoyed writing and I think best represent what I’m trying to do here. So here, in no particular order, is my top 10.

  1. The post ‘Reality and Physicality‘, featuring a quote from the book Neuromancer, captures a sensation from kinky play that I often experience, but haven’t seen described elsewhere. It also features some lovely shots of Domina Yuki.
  2. I’ve frequently posted on the silly stereotype that most submissive men have stressful high power jobs and like the chance to unwind in a dungeon (for example here). I think this particular post is the best rant I’ve managed to date on that.
  3. Stupid legal situations have been another good area for angry cathartic posts, particularly featuring the UK. This was the one that made me laugh the most.
  4. This post on Bob Flanagan wasn’t anything too special, but it did trigger one of the most interesting comments I’ve ever had (from scott Kelly).
  5. This post and it’s more constructive follow-up highlighted an issue in scene negotiation that has bitten me in the past. Hopefully they might have saved others from a similar situation.
  6. My posts obviously rely a lot on artwork created by others. This post had one of the cutest pieces, and also addressed an important issue.
  7. You can prove anything with statistics – including the fact that more people fantasize about being peed on that watched the 2014 World Series.
  8. Large tech companies doing stupid things with adult content is a frequent and significant problem. I thought this post on why that might happen presented a perspective on it that’s rarely heard.
  9. BDSM bloggers often write about pain in scenes, but less frequently address how stress can build up in play. I thought Accumulating Stress and it’s follow-up Relieving Stress were an interesting take on that.
  10. Being listed as a top sex blogger back in 2012 was nice, but even better was the chance to write this Colbert-esque acceptance piece.

For images I hunted back to find something that I really liked. Expressions and smiles have been a common theme and it seemed appropriate to repeat that. Not to mention some cool suspension rope bondage.