Bondage – Page 22 – Femdom Resource

Brain versus no brain

I was thinking today about two different styles of play that rarely get talked about. I say styles of play, but really they’re more categories that specific play styles can be grouped into. I’m not sure they have a well defined and widely understood name, so I’m just going to call them brain and no brain.

No brain is play where the submissive only has to exist and react to the domme in instinctual ways. Simply to be there, in the moment, and twitch, moan or scream is enough. The domme is still gathering feedback to guide the scene, but the submissive can be floating away in subspace, zoning out or trying to push through a pain threshold. There’s no higher level though process needed.

In contrast, play in the brain category involves the domme engaging with the submissive at a more conscious level. She wants to pull him back into the present, catch him off guard and generally stop him relaxing into the scene. This often involves asking questions, or have him verbalize what’s happening, or define some protocol to be followed. There’s an element of right and wrong for the submissive, with the heightened anxiety that brings.

Some styles of play naturally align with one or other of these categories. Mummification and sensory deprivation clearly align well with no brain. Predicament bondage is very much a brain thing. Other styles can work well in either. A domme could cane a submissive and let them focus on processing the sensations while draped comfortably over a padded bench. That would be a no brain approach. Alternatively, she could make him hold a particular pose and count the strokes, while trying to make him slip-up on the count. That’d clearly be in the brain category.

I mention all this because it struck me that these two categories rarely get talked about directly, but actually make a big difference to how play unfolds. In negotiating scenes I’ve seen lots of lists for activities to try and lots of suggestions for different roleplay scenarios, but nobody has ever asked me if I like to use my brain in a scene or not. In my experience, while no domme plays exclusively in one category, a dommes natural style does tend to align more towards one than the other. Some like a lot of verbal interaction and to create a D/s dynamic by keeping the submissive off balance, either literally or figuratively. Others are happy to work more instinctually, and let the submissive drift off into subspace as they build layers of sensation.

I personally prefer a no brain approach to sessions. I like to unplug my conscious mind and relax into whatever is about to happen. I think I might start calling that preference out in scene negotiation. Maybe it’s something for others to think about in their scene planning?

This rather elaborate predicament bondage set-up by Mistress Sidonia is definitely in the brain category. Hard to relax when you’re rigged up like that. You can see more of Mistress Sidonia’s devilish predicaments in this post at the English Mansion blog.

So it’s come to this

This is, I swear, my last retrospective post to commemorate my 2000^th post anniversary. If I’m not careful I’m going to be still writing about it when post 3000 rolls around. So normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Until then, let me finish by sharing links to some of my favorite past posts. These are the ones I most enjoyed writing and I think best represent what I’m trying to do here. So here, in no particular order, is my top 10.

The post ‘Reality and Physicality‘, featuring a quote from the book Neuromancer, captures a sensation from kinky play that I often experience, but haven’t seen described elsewhere. It also features some lovely shots of Domina Yuki.
I’ve frequently posted on the silly stereotype that most submissive men have stressful high power jobs and like the chance to unwind in a dungeon (for example here). I think this particular post is the best rant I’ve managed to date on that.
Stupid legal situations have been another good area for angry cathartic posts, particularly featuring the UK. This was the one that made me laugh the most.
This post on Bob Flanagan wasn’t anything too special, but it did trigger one of the most interesting comments I’ve ever had (from scott Kelly).
This post and it’s more constructive follow-up highlighted an issue in scene negotiation that has bitten me in the past. Hopefully they might have saved others from a similar situation.
My posts obviously rely a lot on artwork created by others. This post had one of the cutest pieces, and also addressed an important issue.
You can prove anything with statistics – including the fact that more people fantasize about being peed on that watched the 2014 World Series.
Large tech companies doing stupid things with adult content is a frequent and significant problem. I thought this post on why that might happen presented a perspective on it that’s rarely heard.
BDSM bloggers often write about pain in scenes, but less frequently address how stress can build up in play. I thought Accumulating Stress and it’s follow-up Relieving Stress were an interesting take on that.
Being listed as a top sex blogger back in 2012 was nice, but even better was the chance to write this Colbert-esque acceptance piece.

For images I hunted back to find something that I really liked. Expressions and smiles have been a common theme and it seemed appropriate to repeat that. Not to mention some cool suspension rope bondage.

Past Play

I thought I’d continue my 2000^th post celebration with a somewhat self-indulgent review of a few of my more interesting sessions over the years. The list below wasn’t necessarily chosen based on pure enjoyment – although some were definitely that – but more on memorable moments that stuck with me.

There was the time I tried to beat a heavy cold through the healing power of BDSM. That didn’t work out too well.
I’ve been decorated in a wide variety of ways over the years. A Victorian Christmas Tree with Lydia and a Tailors Dummy with Cynthia Stone stand out in my memory. The blood decorated plaster cast also by Cynthia rates an honorable mention.
Lydia was always an expert with needles. I loved the beautiful design she did on my back in 2015. The session I nicknamed Gulliver’s Travels was also a really interesting use of needles and twine.
The most unusual technique I’ve experienced was probably a Staple Zippering. I’ve never seen this done anywhere else and domme’s I’ve described it to tend to look at me like I’m crazy.
It wasn’t all needles and surgical staples when playing with Lydia. There was the time I almost kicked her on the ankle. Fortunately, my sense of self-preservation kicked in just in time.
I’ve had countless great sessions over the years and documented a few of them here. There’s only ever been one really bad session when things went sour. I wrote about that here and here. I never did play with that unnamed domme again.

I’ll finish with an image of my favorite domme indulging in one of my favorite activities – breathplay. Nothing pushes me more quickly into subspace than a domme playing with my oxygen supply.

An unusual momento

Like a lot of submissives, I appreciate having something to remind me of an enjoyable play session. It might be bruises from a cane, a hidden bitemark or, as was the case a few weeks back, a heart carved into my chest. Days or even weeks after the event, seeing these physical reminders can put a smile on my face and a little rush of happiness in my heart. Most don’t last much beyond that. Even the scalpel work on my chest is slowly fading and will probably be gone by the end of the month. And yet this weekend I stumbled across something from a session back in 2011 that achieved that same effect. It was a jar of Crystal Hot Sauce.

I’m a keen cook. I’m also pretty organized about labeling, checking dates and throwing old stuff out. Despite this, like a lot of kitchens, I still have that one shelf where odd cans and unused jars migrate to. It’s the graveyard shelf, where strange non-perishable items that I’ll probably never use lurk. I decided to dig up and cleanse my kitchen graveyard this weekend, and the Crystal Hot Sauce was lurking right at the back, unopened. I stared at it for a good while before I remembered the reason I’d purchased it. It was because Lydia had dripped it all over my cock back in a chemical play session in 2011.

I guess technically I didn’t buy it because of its effect on my genitals. At the end of the session I’d tasted it – from the bottle not the cock – and thought it was pretty good. I even said so in my post at the time, and added I’d be purchasing it to keep in the kitchen. I’m clearly a man of my word. That jar, purchased a day or two after the session, stayed unopened in my kitchen for 2171 days.

It’s sadly gone now. It probably lasts forever, but I figure if you don’t use a sauce in the first 6 years of its life, you’re probably not going to use it in the next 6. However, before it disappeared to the big BBQ in the sky, it did give me a smile and a burst of happy memories of that session with Lydia.

This is Mistress Sidonia of The English Mansion doing some chemical play of her own. In this case she’s going in the opposite direction to hot sauce, with a deep cold rub. I’m sure it’ll be equally invigorating for the man in the bed.

Better Than Life (continued again)

This post on sex and technology by Girl on the Net reminded me that I meant to write more on VR and Femdom. A few weeks back I posted my observations here and here on the current state of the art. I thought I’d followup with a couple of posts on my ideas for the future. Tomorrow I’ll tackle how it might lead to new types of sexual interaction. For today I’ll focus on a type of sensation play I think is perfect for VR – electrostimulation or e-stim.

I was lucky enough to enjoy a variety of e-stim play on my recent Vegas trip, and it reminded me how versatile it is. Keep it low and it’s almost like a pleasant tickling. Build it up in continuous waves and it can induce stress and sensory overload. Sudden sharp bursts are almost like canes or whips in the focused intensity. Use in with an insertable probe (like an electrified butt plug) and the muscle contractions can create a kind of thrusting/fucking sensation. I wouldn’t claim it’s a direct substitute for other kinds of play, but it does offer a uniquely versatile range of stimulation.

The tricky part with e-stim is getting it working properly. Sticky contact pads often have cheap connections and broken wires. TENS units are limited in functionality, tricky to set up and (in my experience) plagued with dead batteries. Every domme I’ve played with, no matter how organized and well equipped, always seems to be spend a bunch of time fiddling with connections and I trying to figure out why cranking the dial to 11 doesn’t get so much as a whimper out of me. I think it’s an area ripe for a high tech solution.

On the flip side, when it comes to VR, BDSM and haptic devices, there choices are pretty limited. There’s all manner of vibrating plugs, sleeves and insertables, but not a lot else. I’ve nothing against a good buzz applied to the right spot, but it doesn’t exactly scratch my masochistic itch. How about a wearable, custom designed and computer controlled e-stim device?

I’m imagining a tight rubber vest, completely interwoven with a grid of wires, wrapping all around the torso. They’d be insulated from each other, but would touch the flesh every half inch or so with a small contact patch. A connection at the bottom would hook the vest wires to a PC driven switch system and powerful multi-channel e-stim device such as an ErosTek. The e-stim device would provide the charge and the computer software would rapidly switch it across different combinations of wires to create different sensations. It could create delicate sensations that gently traced around the body. Or sharp lines of pain that shoot across like a cane strike. Or big waves of shocks that hit in a single point and then radiated out. Smart software could either coordinate the effects with the VR world or allow another person to control it in realtime. It wouldn’t simulate human touch, or the sensation of specific implements, but it could produce complex and consistent sensations that correlated with behavior in the virtual world.

I’m ~~possibly~~ certainly unusual, but I’ll take a jacket that’ll shock me in strange and unusual ways over a pleasant buzz in the genitals. I just hope there’s enough technology loving kinkster out there like me to make it worth someone building and selling it.

Here’s someone enjoying some strange and unusual electrical stimulation. No fancy high tech equipment required here. Just a lady with a violet wand – a device can trace its roots back to the 19th century. The image is obviously from the Divine Bitches site.

The simple things in life

Here’s a final image in my short sequence of suspension themed posts. This one makes me smile due to the discrepancy between the setting and the action.

The setting is extreme. There’s a padded cell, a severe looking straitjacket and a taxing inverted suspension. In contrast the action is that most simple but frustrating of things – a sharp flick to the head of the penis. With the setting you’d expect her to be wielding some fiendish medical equipment or a scary electroshock device. Instead she’s keeping it simple, personal and very accurately targeted.

This is of course from the Men In Pain site.

Don’t try this at home

Here’s a striking image to continue the suspension theme. I think it falls into the category of ‘hot fantasy, but don’t try replicating it as shown.’ Hanging someone by rope like that is liable to cause all sorts of bad things to happen to their wrists and arms. Use proper suspension cuffs if you want to try this for real. The rest of us can simply enjoy the artwork and the exciting fantasy it may provoke.

This is by the Brazilian artist Pote. He has a lot more artwork available on his blog, although most of it is Mm rather than Fm.

A country swing

It’s unusual to see a properly rigged suspension performed outside. People often shoot bondage scenes outdoors, but nature doesn’t typically provide a lot of load tested reachable hardpoints, in areas safe from prying eyes, with clear space beneath them. This is a rather beautiful exception.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea where this is from. It’s another of the endless images that show up on tumblr with no identification. Please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it correctly.

We need to talk

I’m not entirely convinced by the ropework in this drawing. It has a suggestion of the randomly wrapped clothesline style from 1970’s bondage magazines. He could probably escape if he wanted to, but I’m guessing he’s happy where he is.

Ropework aside, I do like this image. Being bound, straddled and grasped around the throat is undoubtedly hot. The artist is S. Yoshiko and it was created for Lady Merreth. I’ve featured their artwork previously.

Birching in Watercolor

There’s a lot of kinky artwork online, but it’s not often that I find examples using the medium of watercolors. It’s a style I personally like a lot, so I was therefore happy to be sent a link to a website run by Djeki featuring spanking, whipping and birching watercolors created by her husband.

The site actually boasts spanking art in a variety of styles, along with some impressive and fearsome spanking furniture, but it’s the watercolors that caught my eye. I also like the fact that the artist was identified to me simply as Djeki’s husband. That seems appropriate for Femdom themed artwork.

Birching Watercolor If you’re also a fan, it looks like a lot of the artwork is available for sale.