Bondage – Page 32 – Femdom Resource

Feeling happy

I played with Lydia tonight. Much bondage, breathplay, nipple torture, hot wax and flogging was involved. It was the kind of play that gets me spacey almost immediately. The kind where I can channel the pain through a sense of shared connection. The kind where it hurts but feels so good and so right.

Right now all I want to do is collapse on the couch and drink wine, so this post will be short. I’ll simply share an image that captures an element of what play can be. There was no rope bondage in my case (although lots of leather belts and plastic wrap) but this has that sense of tension and connection that means so much to me.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. I found it via the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

Hommage

I find it slightly disturbing when I make connections between femdom artists, photographers or performers. Being an expert on pre-raphaelite painting or the films of Ingmar Bergman (for example) would typically be seen a source of pride. Recognizing a particular pro-domme from a random tumblr photograph, knowing the dungeon it was taken in and figuring out the publisher from the style of shot, is a somewhat less marketable skill.

The artwork below is entitled ‘Her Kinky Wishes‘ and is by ashfaq-ayon. It’s a lovely drawing, but on seeing it I immediately recognized the inspiration of Rodzo’s work. It’s a very different artistic style, but the composition, text and set-up is pure Rodzo. I like it a lot, although I think the more realistic style makes the male posture look even more impossible than in the original inspiration.

Nantaimori

Here’s some sushi to finish our tasting menu of food related posts. I’ve seen plenty of articles about eating sushi off naked women, but never anything on using naked men. Apparently it does exist and even has its own name – Nantaimori. Never let it be said this blog isn’t educational.

The artwork below is by the artist Voloh. You can see more of his work at the Hentai Foundry (click through the warning splash screen).

D is not an evolution of s

As I was writing yesterday’s post on La Domaine Esemar I had a nagging feeling it was a subject I’d covered before. Searching past posts didn’t find anything, but my bookmark list turned up this article from The Daily Beast. It’s an article I’d intended to post about but never got around to. It’s similar to the Cosmos article, giving background on the people and the Chateau, but provides a lot more detail and context. It’s certainly an interesting article, but there’s one really infuriating part in it.

This deep-seeded dedication to submission, and potential subsequent evolution into dominance, is one of the ways that La Domaine sets itself apart from the commercialized BDSM scene in New York City. People are encouraged to experience both sides, traditionally starting as a submissive and moving into a dominant role, to more fully understand the symbiotic nature of the lifestyle, whereas in other parts of the subculture people will adhere to one or the other for superficial reasons rather than trying, over time, to explore the inner-workings of their sexuality and come to a honest consensus about their true nature as a submissive or a dominant.

Firstly, dominance is not an evolution of submission. The two states are peers and partners. One is not a more advanced lifeform than the other. Secondly, the idea that it’s necessary to explore both sides to fully understand one’s true sexual nature is ludicrous. Are straight people superficial if they don’t first explore same sex relationships? Or have gay people not reached a honest consensus about themselves if they haven’t tried sleeping with someone of the opposite sex? If someone is curious or just uncertain then by all means explore. People’s desires can change and knowledge is a wonderful thing. D/s is not necessarily a binary choice, but some people know deep in their bones what works for them. The above quote smacks of ‘one true path’ bullshit and BDSM hierarchies, and that always drives me nuts.

The above image is Mistress Couple with a slave at La Domaine Esemar.

Idiocy on idiocy

After writing yesterday’s post on the stupid British porn laws, I spotted this page by Megara Furie on the issue of minors accessing content. Apparently the issue is that the widely used Clips 4 Sale site accepts debit cards. Credit cards require proof of age, but anyone can get a prepaid debit card. That effectively means that no UK producer can use the number one clips site in the world. There are alternatives (for example Clips Fatale), but I suspect the other sites don’t see anywhere near the same volume of traffic.

I can see this is clearly a major problem. I’m sure that many minors are saving up their pocket money in order to sneakily acquire debit cards and then pay for pornography. There’s absolutely no way they’d be going off to the completely free and anonymous sites like redtube or xvideos or pornhub. Minors are also notoriously bad and nervous about using modern technology, so there’s no chance there’d be getting porn from one of the zillions of illegal but free torrent sites out there.

Quite frankly if anyone did find a minor paying for porn he (or she) should get an award for their honesty (after taking the porn away). I can only hope the idiots at ATVOD organization never stumble across any of the more potent Japanese femdom material. It might melt their tiny little brains. There’s all sorts of extreme whipping, breathplay and toilet scenes. None of which is now allowed in Britain. The image below is from the Rinryu site which (fair warning) containing heavy material featuring all three of those activities.

One last tease

I though I was done with the tease and denial posts, but having stumbled onto this image I couldn’t help but feature it. A contortionist domme is an unusual but appealing concept. I didn’t recognize the characters but Google tells me this is fan art of Ty Lee from The Last Airbender. According to wikipedia she’s an acrobat who can paralyze people by striking their pressure points. It looks like she’s found a pressure point in a particularly critical spot.

I believe the artist of this works under the handle Third Horseman.

T & D

While I was slacking off in Vegas this past weekend it struck me that it was the ultimate tease and denial town. It dangles the idea of winning lots of money, but rarely follows through. It promises celebrity chefs running restaurants, when in reality all the chefs are off at their main spots in NYC, London, Paris or wherever. Clubs and bars are advertised on the basis of decadent and hedonistic delights, when they’re really just loud crowded rooms full of tourists. When it comes to sexual delights, stripping is the main industry, and that’s the ultimate in tease and denial. Lots of lithe flesh, and naked girls on laps, but no touching or any kind of sexual contact. For those into promised but undelivered pleasure it must be the ideal vacation spot.

I sound like I’m down on it, but I’m really not. I like visiting. I’m just way past the age where gambling, strip clubs and lining up for the latest hot club has any appeal. I like sitting in on a patio with a cocktail, catching up with friends and people watching. I used to think it was the place to go for no holds barred hedonism. Now I think of it as the blue balls capitol of the world.

This teasing image is called Guy Tickling and is by AleX00XelA.

Kink on Netflix

I’ve mentioned the James Franco documentary on kink.com in previous posts here. I’ve yet to see it, but that may be about to change. I just noticed it has been made available on Netflix’s streaming service. Not sure if what regions it’s available in, but I can certainly see it listed in the US. May be worth a look if you’re at all curious about one of the larger companies in the BDSM porn scene.

The image below is from the kink site TS Seduction and features the beautiful Yasmin Lee.

KinkBNB

You may have heard of Airbnb, the service that facilities property rentals between private individuals. Well now there is KinkBNB, a service that lets you rent other kinksters play spaces. Renting a play space obviously isn’t a new idea, but I’m not aware of any service for coordinating the process. Typically you’d need to hunt around different pro-domme sites and forums to see what was available. It seems to be mostly Californian spaces at present, but if the concept takes off, maybe there’ll soon be spaces soon available in every town.

Of course while well equipped play spaces can be fun, you don’t actually need one to get kinky. This couple seem to be having a good time in what looks like a hotel room. Or at least one of them is having a good time. It’s a little hard to ascertain the attitude of the other one.

Fetlife Fail

Fetlife has been in the news recently for all the wrong reasons. Somebody scraped a bunch of user data off it and published it on the open web. This wasn’t a hack. They simply created a normal free account, which just takes a few seconds, and then ran a script to browse the site and download user profiles accessible to all fetlife users. They claimed that this was to demonstrate the lack of security in Fetlife. That position was undermined somewhat by the fact that they only took data from female users under 30 years old and published it in a file called ‘The Fetlife Meatlist’.

Understandably this pissed a lot of people off leading to articles like this and this. While the person who did it is obviously an asshole, I can’t say I was particularly surprised. There have been numerous articles over the years highlighting this potential attack, as well as previous technical demonstrations of the approach. Of course that doesn’t much help the 99% of Fetlife users who are busy getting kinky rather than reading techy sex blog articles.

It’s tempting to say that you should expect anything published online to be public. That’s both true and missing the point. Privacy is not a binary concept. At one extreme you have things like password protected accounts for storing private cellphone photographs. At the other you have sites like reddit and blogs like this one. To access the former you need either a hacker or a security flaw in the storage system. To access the latter you just need a web browser and an internet connection. Neither provides guaranteed privacy, as a lot of celebrities recently found out. Yet expectations of the two are clearly different.

Social media sites like Fetlife and Facebook fall someone between those two extremes. The problem is that their business model of eyeballs and advertisers pulls them towards the openness of a reddit or a blog. The expectation of their users, particularly for a content sensitive site like Fetlife, pulls towards greater privacy and protection. To date it seems that Fetlife has biased towards its advertisers over its users. So yes, you should always work on the assumption that anything stored online may become public. But that doesn’t absolve Fetlife of the responsibility to strike the right balance between its business model and its users privacy.

In the meantime, if you do take kinky selfies, be careful how you share them. Although if anyone wants to send me some, I promise to be careful with them!

This is by the Belgium artist Benoit Feroumont, who posts his erotic work under the handle Gracy Gimp.