Bondage – Page 38 – Femdom Resource

Clueless

Normally when a famous person is mentioned in connection with the word dominatrix it’s because they wore a vaguely fetishistic outfit (a phenomena I’ve commented on in the past). This short article on Courtney Love is a little different. Apparently she considered being a dominatrix because “it’s just learning how to tie knots” but then quit when “the first client picked me as a submissive and wanted to spank me.” I’m not sure which statement is more clueless, but it certainly indicates she was wise to stick to her music career.

Of course while tying knots is one of the least important parts of being a domme, that doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things with knots. Rigging is an art form all of it’s own, and here’s a particularly nice example from Men in Pain.

Coming out or getting caught

I’m always nervous that this blog will be discovered by a friend, relative or co-worker. There’s certainly enough information on it to make that identification possible by a regular reader who also happened to know me in daily life. It’s not that I’m ashamed out it. I’m actually very proud of what I’ve put together here. But in that curious inversion that’s unique to sex blogging, what I’m happy to share with internet strangers would definitely be TMI to share with friends.

Adult star Jesse Jackman recently wrote about his experience with the scariest version of this scenario – his mother stumbling across his blog. Fortunately it turns out to be a heart warming story of acceptance and understanding. In a world where the line ‘How would you feel if your son/daughter did it?’ is often stated as if it’s the definitive case against sex work, it’s nice to see a family showing love and understanding when dealing with the issue. Although I can’t say that it has inspired me to the extent that I’m going to email my mother a link to this blog.

Ideally I’d have a great shot of Jesse Jackman to finish this post with, but as far as I can tell he’s exclusive a gay performer, which doesn’t align with this blogs theme. Instead I’ll use a great example of image I love and I’m happy to post, yet would hate to explain to me friends and family exactly why.

This is from the CBT and Ballbusting site.

Getting that perfect pegging position

There are many helpful guides to pegging lurking around on the web. For example, there’s this one from Tickleberry and this one from Lazy Domme. However, I’ve never seen any of them suggesting that many feet of rope should be used to bind the boy and then bend him like a pretzel for the perfect angle of penetration. It probably should at least get mentioned as an option. It’s not all that practical unless you have lots of open space with handy tie points to fasten him to, but it does look awfully fun.

This is Clair Adams, looking very sexy with her red hair and a nicely color coordinated strap-on. I believe it’s from a Men in Pain shoot. I found it on the Beg for some pegging tumblr.

Quirky and kinky

I was done with posts on public play, temporarily at least. Then a commenter left me a pointer to an intriguing video that I just had to follow-up.

Regular readers may remember the story of the lady in London leading her man by a leash. It generated an unusual amount of media speculation and, as I covered in a follow-up post, turned out to be an art project. In that follow-up post I featured this image and jokingly commented that “I wonder what artistic statement they’re making?” I’d assumed it was a conventional kinky image, or possibly a provocative shot from a photographers portfolio. As it turns out, thanks to my very helpful commenter, I now know it actually was a more extended artistic work.

It’s taken from a 2 minute film entitled The woman and her Man, featuring a lady, her helpful submissive and a street preacher. It’s a quirky piece, kinky but not freaky, gently amusing and kind of cute. No Oscars will be awarded, but it’s unconventional and I liked it. The creator has a couple of different YouTube channels – ImaginePark and GirlFairytales. The movies and acting are a pretty mixed bag, but if you liked that first movie a couple of similar ones include The Women on the Bench and Famine Relief.

For an accompanying image I thought I’d step it up from my previous subtle fare. In some of the earlier comments we were debating where exactly the line on public play should be drawn. Here’s a good example of something that everyone can hopefully agree on. It’s hot, but probably isn’t acceptable outside the Folsom Street Fair.

I’ve actually failed to trace the original source of this image. I believe that’s Mistress Madeline and that Folsom is the only place that would allow this kind of public scene. But if anyone has any better information, feel free to let me know.

PDP

I’ve written fairly often on what I term PDS – Public Displays of D/S. Generally I come down on the side of letting shared public spaces be truly shared, rather than giving the majority veto power on their use. Kinky people are tax paying members of the public after all (or as Louis C.K. might put it).

However, this New Zealand man seems to have drifted into PDP – Public Display of Perversity. He was in his home standing at a window, when…

Burley placed a balaclava over his head before committing an indecent act using a sex toy, clothes pegs and a leather whip.
…
“The victim and her two friends look out the kitchen window several times as they could not believe what they were seeing,” it said.

I don’t want to make light of it, as clearly this was an asshole thing to do. But that bit about having to look several times (along with her friends) did make me smile. Apparently he was excited at the idea of getting caught. Given he’s now looking at jail time, I imagine that excitement might have diminished slightly.

His choice of implements no doubt added some extra weirdness to the story for most people, but I’ve had a lot of (consensual) fun over the years with those toys. Clothe pegs as zippers can be particularly interesting, as Aiden Starr shows below. I particularly like the red marks running down his legs from where they have just been ripped away.

This image is from this shoot for Divine Bitches. You can see another image of her putting the zipper in place here.

Depression and BDSM

Constanze Borgia has an interesting guest post by Phil Beck on the subject of depression and BDSM. It talks about depression in general, provides some personal anecdotes and offers some advice about dealing with the intersection of BDSM and mental health. I’m signal boosting it as it’s rare to see such a thoughtful discussion of the topic. I often hear people refer to dommes as therapists, or state how beneficial BDSM play is, but they’re casual references flung around with little thought. This is a far more balanced and nuanced article.

I’ve suffered from depression a couple of times in my life, but it was many years ago, and didn’t overlap with any kinky activity. So I’ve no idea how the two would interact together for me. Generally kink makes me happy and buzzed, but when you’re dealing with brain chemistry it’s hard to predict how things will unfold if you complicate the mix.

I can definitely relate to Phil’s experiences with mummification. He wrote that:

Being totally immobilized in that way made it possible to release my concerns about the outside world and my sense of emotional well being somehow began to rise up as I began to sink into a trance like state.

I’ve always found that very extreme bondage of this type is both liberating and soothing. Hopefully the gentleman below is feeling equally soothed by his situation…

This is obviously from a Divine Bitches shoot.

Making the sparks fly

Lydia and I had some fun playing with her violet wand last night. I was extensively scratched, slapped and shocked. There was a lot of screaming by me and laughter from her. I’ve played with wands in the past and they usually just leave a few red marks, but for some reason this left me itching and scratching all today. Not quite sure why my skin reacted that way, but it definitely added an extra element of torture. I’m sure Lydia would have been entertained to see me fidgeting around in all my work meetings.

If you’ve not seen one in action, Aemilia Hawk has a couple of videos that demonstrate both the visuals and the sound of them. Their intensity can vary quite considerably depending on the attachments used. Big round bulbs are quite mild, but sharper curves and points can concentrate the charge considerably. I was getting zapped under my fingernails with a pointy bulb and it was definitely generating more of a reaction than Aemilia shows in her videos!

They don’t appear that often in porn, which I find surprising given how visually appealing they can be. Here’s one highly fetishistic example from Absolute Cruelty. Not quite sure why the domme is wearing the gas mask rather than the slave, although I guess it does give her an impersonal and faintly alienesque appearance. You can see another angle of the scene here.

Rope & candles

I don’t feature a lot of posts with female submissive imagery. In fact, looking at my post tagging, there have been around 60 Ff images, out of over 1,200 total posts. That’s not because I don’t appreciate it. I enjoy its aesthetic and can relate to the submissive experience of any gender. The problem is that so many Femdom/Femsub images end up fixated on the submissive at the cost of the dominant and the dynamic between them. They end up being femsub rather than femdom, and I figure there are quite enough pictures of bound and gagged women floating around with a blog about female dominance adding to them.

This image is an example that strikes the right balance for me. The dominant is an integral part of the scene, and it nicely captures a moment of tension. It also continues the Shibari theme from yesterday’s post, which pleases the anal retentive blogger in me. It’s by the artist RedPandaDee and, according to his comment on it, the dominant is Saki Kamijoo and the submissive is Skinny Redhead. You can see a video of Saki Kamijoo at work here.

Rope & heels

I love the fact that this very intricate bondage is both beautiful and functional. Shibari is frequently aesthetically pleasing, but can sometimes look impractical for serious play or simply be ornate without restraining. This pulls off all the elements. I particularly like the detailing around his feet and legs. Those heels look painful, but I don’t think he’s going to be getting away.

This is by Mistress Juri from Ginza Prezis, as featured previously in this post.

Experimenting with gargalesis

Sometimes I can be a little slow. For example, I spent ages starting at this image trying to figure it out. Why, I wondered, are two women tickling him, while the third is drawing a picture of a costumed superhero? How could those different things possibly be related? Only after an embarrassingly long time did I figure out that the third woman is actually drawing a color coded map of his ticklish zones. That’s both scientific and particularly evil.

In my defense I will say that I’m extremely ticklish, so a color coded map wouldn’t make much sense for me. All my body parts trigger a strong reaction, so it’d just be red all over. I can’t say I particularly kink on being tickled, but I have noticed that some dommes really get a kick out of the reaction they can provoke with it. So I do enjoy feeding off their reaction to my reaction. It’s a perversely entertaining feedback loop.

Incidentally, the title of the post features the scientific name for tickling. Femdom Resource – bringing you entirely accurate and completely useless information, one post at a time.

I found this image on the Lunar Black tumblr. It’s initialed with something that looks like DH??, but I can’t track down the artist. If anyone knows then please leave a comment.