Bondage – Page 39 – Femdom Resource

Chilly willy

Last month I ranted on the topic of limits and avoiding them. I didn’t intend that rant to turn into a monthly occurrence but, as luck would have it, I do have a new topic to address – chilly dungeons. It’s not quite as serious an issue, but what use is a blog if you can’t have a good rant now and again?

Admittedly a cold dungeon is probably more realistic. I doubt that medieval castles had much in the way of underfloor heating or goose down duvets for their prisoners. Yet oddly enough, when I’m naked and being carefully tied to a spanking bench by an attractive lady dressed in leather and heels, historical accuracy isn’t high on my list of requirements.

You might also think that a masochist would enjoy the extra torment of a freezing space. Or that it might help distract from the actual pain being inflicted. Yet oddly enough, I find it makes it much harder to deal with intense play. Everything is more snappy and stingy when it’s cold. Skin is more sensitive, and it’s hard to get into the right head space when being distracted by shivering body parts. I want to relax and soak into the pain, not spend my time wondering how warm the straight jacket hanging in the corner would be.

In the handful of times I’ve encountered this problem, it has never been the fault of the domme I was playing with. They’ve always been renting a space that was badly set-up, too cold to start with, and they couldn’t fix it in the time we had available. So if you’re reading this and you own a play space, my ask to you is either…

Design it as one or more small spaces that can be warmed up quickly and individually, or
Get enormous and efficient space heaters that can quickly warm up your large space, or
Have some way of dynamically partitioning up the space (e.g. heavy curtains) so that one area can be heated separately if necessary.

I think the perfect set-up is to have one large traditional playroom and then several smaller spaces that can be used if necessary. That’s what Lydia has and what I’ve seen in several other commercial spaces. Or I guess you could live in a hot region and play outside like these two. He might now have to worry about ants and spiders, but at least he’s warm.

This is Isis Love and Rok from a Men in Pain shoot. I found it on the Femdom Experience tumblr.

Learning to scream

It’s important that a masochist learns to scream correctly. Not to mention moan, whimper, flinch and wince. Volume or pitch isn’t important, but consistency and honesty is. Anytime I play I’m trying to give good feedback about the intensity of the experience and what headspace I’m in. It’s not like I get hit and then think “Hmmm, that feels like a level 7 moan. And maybe a level 5 flinch.” Instead I aim for a natural transparent reaction, and to resist the urge to occasionally exaggerate my response in order to control the scene. When the intensity is ratcheting up it can sometimes be tempting to do that and get ahead of what I know might be coming.

Of course, an expert domme can normally accurately assess just how painful her actions are and how genuine the reaction to them is. For the less experienced then help maybe at hand. It turns out that computers can be amazingly good at judging how genuine a reaction to pain is. According to this article, when shown video of people experiencing or faking pain, humans were essentially hopeless at guessing which was which, while computer software got it right 85% of the time. I find that an astonishing number. It would be interesting to put a selection of dominants through the same test and see if they were any better at spotting the fakers. I also wonder if adding sound to the test would have significantly improved the score for the humans.

Apparently one of the best indicators is the dynamics of the mouth opening. I’d guess this scene would provide some useful training data for the software. I don’t think he’s faking it.

This is from the Men in Pain site. I found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

Tip of the taint

Here’s my BDSM tip of the day: If you’re looking for a particularly painful place to drip candle wax, then the taint is a great go to area. It’s even more painful than the balls or the cock. I acquired this information first hand courtesy of Lydia. I think I may be washing bits of wax out of odd crevices for days to come.

This image doesn’t feature that particular area of the body, but it does have rope, tender nipples and chest waxing, which also featured in my evenings entertainment. This is Bobbi Starr in a shoot for Divine Bitches.

Hooded kiss

Here’s something simple yet beautiful to start the weekend. A lovely blend of rope bondage, sensory deprivation and sweet sensuality. This is Mistress Juri from Ginza Prezis.

I originally stumbled across this image on the Sensual Fetish tumblr.

Caught in a rope web

I enjoyed some rope bondage with Lydia tonight and now I’m left with some beautiful rope marks across my torso. I was positioned on my back, but rather than simple anchor me at the wrists and ankles, Lydia used a number of ropes to enmesh by whole body. Everything was in tension, the ropes working against each other so I could constantly feel them hugging me. Typically I don’t struggle much in bondage, so I can sometimes almost forget that I’m tied up. There was no danger of that tonight, as every breath and twitch pulled against the web that held me.

The image below is obviously a suspension scene, which is a little different to mine, but I’m guessing he’ll also be left with some nice rope marks afterwards. The domme and rigger is Ms Tytania of London. You can see more image from the same session in this post. Suspension is always fun, but I particularly like the little teasing touch on his cock in this shot.

If you’d like the chance to enjoy some of Ms Tytania skills in person, her contact information is available here.

Another moment

Continuing the theme from yesterday, here’s another example of two people taking a timeout and enjoying a little moment at some point during a scene. I particularly like the follow-up shot that looks like it was snapped just a few seconds later.

The image is from this sequence shot for Pandora Blake’s spanking site and features Amelia Jane Rutherford. I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr.

Altered states

This article has been popping up all over the web in the last few days, both on mainstream and kinky blogs. It describes research done on BDSM participants, testing their cognitive response to something called a Stroop task both before and after playing.

The results showed that people playing the pain-receiving role showed poorer Stroop task scores, which are seen with short-term reductions of functions in a part of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortexAmbler said. This region is linked to executive control, working memory and other higher-level functions.

The pain that comes with sadomasochistic sex may cause the brain to shunt blood flow away from this region, causing a subjectively altered state of consciousness — and the appeal of SM, Ambler said.

My initial response on reading this was on the lines of “Well duh!” Anyone who has experienced subspace and the discombobulation that comes along with that will attest to the altered states that kinky play can produce. I’m incredibly spacey and buzzy after my sessions, and can barely talk during them. I’d probably have difficult spelling my name during an intense play experience, let alone doing a Stroop test. However, I do like the fact that somebody is doing real clinical studies in this area. There’s lot of anecdotal commentary flying around about subspace (see this blog for one), but precious little that is grounded in quantifiable data. Even if those quantifiable measurements only involve 14 people in this particular case.

I’ll finish with a shot of a very kind and helpful lady guiding a gentleman towards his own particular altered state. I like the fact they’ve both sticking out their tongues, but for very different reasons.

I believe this is a kink.com shot, but I’ve no actual proof of that. I found it on the Superioridad Femenina tumblr.

Tumblr Egotism

I like this image from the Men in Pain site. I like (a lot) the Work is Never Over tumblr where I found it. I intensely dislike the fact the tumblr owner felt the need to stamp their watermark on the top right corner. I also hate the fact they felt the need to move the very clear MiP attribution from the bottom left to right edge, where it’s easily missed (the original image can be seen here).

Screwing around in an image editing package for a few minutes doesn’t confer a creative credit. I enjoy seeing tweaked images on tumblr (the Alternative Female Domination tumblr does a good job in that respect), but nobody should fool themselves that somehow that’s equivalent to hiring professional models, and then lighting, rigging and shooting a scene. Please leave original watermarks alone and don’t add new ones. Even if you have worked hard and spent literally seconds of your life shoving the file through an image filter or two.

More wax play

I always knew the internet and my readers wouldn’t let me down. No sooner had I put up yesterday’s post about Leonardo DiCaprio, the dominatrix and the candle, than Vista had come through for me with an animated gif of the scene in question. Seeing it makes me wonder if they consulted anyone about the right type of candle to use. There are a lot of good guides to wax play out there (for example this one), but how many movie props departments know about them? I hope Leonardo was just doing a great acting job, because hot wax really shouldn’t be that painful.

I’ll finish with a shot of a quite different wax play scene. There’s a lot less screaming and a lot more smiling in this shot.

I found this on the Happy BDSM tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Ball, balls and ball

I can’t claim to be a huge an of this ladies outfit – it smacks too much of motorbike magazine cover girl for me – but I do like what she’s done with this suspension. He’s been tied into a tight ball, then she has tied his balls up, and then she’s hung a metal ball from his balls. It’s a ball trifecta.

I’m also thinking that the soles of his feet are going to be awfully vulnerable in this position, and she still has that cane lying on the floor. Bastinado on top of suspension and CBT would be wonderfully evil.

This is originally from the Men in Pain site. I found it on the written in the water tumblr.