The munchies

It’s Thanksgiving in America. As an Englishman I didn’t grow up with the holiday, so it doesn’t have quite the same resonance for me as I think it does for a lot of my American friends. However, I do always enjoy getting together with friends for a good nosh-up.

That eating theme seemed to tie in nicely with these images, which show the lovely Katie from Men Are Slaves chowing down on her submissive. He’s covered in bite marks, so clearly he’s a tasty treat.

Biting
Biting
I found these images on the rather excellent Femdom Times.

The top ways we injure our genitals

Picking titles for posts is always tricky. When I have time, I like to come up with something a little more than a simple description of the post itself. Ideally it’d be a joke or cultural reference that raises a smile. However, in this particular case, I didn’t think I could beat the title of this article in the Atlantic.

Apparently around 16,000 people in the U.S. injure their genitals every year, 69% of them men. The top risk is cycling, followed by trimming/shaving and then zippers. I know there are a lot of people out there that enjoy CBT, but sex/BDSM related injuries don’t feature in the top risk categories. So it looks like most people are playing safety. Just steer clear of those bicycles.

I’ll leave you with a couple of shots of Mistress Madeline risking making Rico one of the sixteen thousand. Not content with swinging the whip, she also tries a stun baton on him.

CBT Whipping
Mistress Madeline with Rico
All shots are from this shoot at Divine Bitches.

Reasons to be cheerful

I felt like posting some happy pictures tonight. Democrats in the US are obviously going to be very cheerful over the election results. Republicans not so much, but that just means they’re in need of happy pictures to help cheer them up. For fans of marriage equality it looks like all four ballot measure are going to succeed, which is great news. And for everyone outside the US, I’m sure nobody will object to attractive smiling women having some kinky fun. Hopefully these shots will give everyone a reason to be cheerful.

Smiles
Smiles
Kisses
To find these I went to the obvious place for happy kinky shots, the Happy BDSM tumblr. They’re originally from Whipped Ass.

What happened next?

Here’s an image that I like but I’m also a little puzzled by. Normally a chair is either something to be tied into or to be paddled over. In this case, I’m not really sure what she’s planning to use it for. Perhaps she’s going to do some CBT by sitting in it and leaning backwards? Or maybe tie his balls to the top prior to a cock caning? Inquiring minds wants to know.

Mistress and slave with chairI found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr. It’s originally from InSexM and I think that’s Princess Donna taking charge of the situation.

A nice refreshing drink

This clean couple come courtesy of this post on Homer’s blog (Japanese language). As best I can make out via the on-line translation tools, it’s a cover from an old issue of SM (Suspense Magazine). Washing a child’s mouth out with soap and water is an old punishment for bad language. I dread to think what he must have said to deserve this.

I actually did a scene featuring water in the face a few months ago, although it was poured from a bottle rather than power blasted at me. With a cloth over the face it can give some really interesting options for breathplay *. Unfortunately it was after I’d been tied to a bed for a couple of hours, and the trickling cold water against my skin just made me want to pee. With Lydia sitting on my torso, the fact of not going enough oxygen was a minor inconsequential trifle compared to the torture from my bladder!

Domme spraying water into bound submissive's mouth

* Note that breathplay is inherently dangerous, and this form particularly so. You get some oxygen through the wet cloth but not enough to stay alive. This makes it easy to slip gradually into a dangerous state of hypoxia. I’m not an expert but I do play with people who are. I don’t recommend trying it unless you’re confident the domme knows what she is doing.

The only thing we have to fear…

When I was catching up on my blog reading over the weekend I came across an interesting sequence of posts by Lady Anna List. They described a heavy imprisonment scenario, featuring bondage, isolation and sensory deprivation. You can read them in part 1, part 2 and part 3 of a series entitled Incarceration. What particularly caught my eye was the comment about a panic attack during the scene.

He’d fallen asleep and woken up before feeling the entire world closing in around him. Experience has helped him before to talk himself out of his impending attack…
…I’m not sure I would rescue him because this is something he has to get through so he knows he can get through it again in future extreme bondage situations.

That got me thinking about the nature of panic and how we experience it, which in turn led me to this fascinating paper on the subject. It’s fairly readable for a scientific paper and it contends that panic is an evolutionary response to dangerous situations. There’s first a tendency to freeze (so a predator won’t spot us), and then a physical response to divert blood, suck in more oxygen, release cooling sweat and tension muscles before fleeing for home and safety. The paper also talks about agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder where panic attacks can strike out of the blue in everyday life. These panic attacks typical occur in certain locations (wide open or enclosed spaces), or in certain situations (being in crowds of strange people or being far from home). These are scenarios which from an evolutionary perspective represented specific threats, such as being exposed with nowhere to hide, or encountering a number of strangers from outside your tribe.

I found it fascinating because there’s a tendency to think about panic as being purely a mental process, as something you can think your way around. And it’s true that you can condition yourself against it by repeated exposure and positive reinforcement. But the basic response itself is a very deeply embedded one, with real physical manifestations. Nobody would think of telling an agoraphobic to simply snap out of it and think themselves better. And yet I find there’s sometimes a tendency to see panic as a weakness or mental failure in a submissive. In fact it’s really just a million years of evolution doing it’s thing. Like the primitive drives for sex or food, it’s all about maximizing the chances of passing the genes on.

The other interesting takeaway from the paper was in the final section, where the author talks about the difficulty of studying panic in the laboratory. He should get out the lab and into his local BDSM playspaces. I can guarantee his local dommes will have a wide collection of experimental subjects they can push into carefully controlled panic situations!

I’ll leave you with a shot of an item that is great for pushing my panic buttons – a hood. That tight enclosed feeling gets me every time.

Hood in vintage BDSM shot

I found this via the clitlickslut tumblr.

Intimate rope bondage

I’m feeling pretty buzzed right now from a great session with Lydia earlier this evening. I should have some photographs to share in a later post, but all I want to do right now is collapse on the couch with a glass of wine. Before I do that, I’ll leave you with a couple of very sweet bondage shots.

I found these on Natasha Gornik’s blog. She’s the photographer of choice for a lot of kinky people in NYC, and her blog features fetish/BDSM shots along with lots of photographs of food. Since those are two of my favorite subjects, it makes for a very enjoyable read from my perspective. The models are Erin Houdini and Athena. I loved the feeling of intimacy and affection between them. It’s nice to see bondage used in a sensual way, rather than the more typical restraint orientated S&M scenarios.

Erin and Athena, photographed by Natasha Gornik
Erin and Athena, photographed by Natasha Gornik

Aggression is sexy

Seeing this image made me realize how few femdom images show expressions of simple aggression. There are a lot of smiling sadists, haughty stares and dismissive sneers, but not a lot like this shot. Personally, while I’m not a fan of angry domination, I do enjoy seeing controlled aggression. It suggest an emotional engagement with the scene and activity, not simply someone going through the motions. In this case her expression, coupled with the black glove, rope leash and bowed submissive, create a nice sense of focused energy.

AggressionI found this image on the She Rules Me tumblr. The dominant looks really familiar – a West coast pro-domme I think – but I just can’t place her name. If you can help with an identity feel free to leave a comment.

Update: Thanks to my knowledgeable readers I can identify the lady in question as Mika Tan. Her name was on the tip of my tongue I swear!

Three days of brutality

Yesterday’s post cautioned against perceiving extreme scenes and edge players as being ‘better’ than others. Today’s post brings you a compelling description of a very extreme scene featuring an astonishing level of masochism. Possibly this lacks consistency, but as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.

It is true that the quality and the pleasure associated with a BDSM scene has no direct relationship to the severity of the scene. But for the audience in the peanut gallery, extreme behavior is often a compelling draw. In this case the scene is a three day long one, described at length in this post.

The following days were repeated … a pattern of freezing nights in the bunker, ice cold showers in the morning, sessions of brutal torture, beatings, and electrocution. Verbal abuse and no hope of mercy.
stevey from a post on Max Fisch

I found it a fascinating read, although it’s not something I’d ever want to do. I need a little love and care mixed in with my pain, and it sounds like there wasn’t much of that on offer.

The domme dishing out the pain was Madame Celeste de Monial and the scene unfolded at the Chalet of Pain located in Germany. As stevey describes, the location sounds like a smaller version of the infamous OWK. If your tastes run to iron fetters, imprisonment fantasies and serious mental and physical torment, then it sounds like a great place to check out. The image below shows the inside of its underground bunker, and you can see the entrance and descending stairs in this gallery.

Underground bunker at Chalet of Pain

First date

I hate first dates. Not dating itself. Just the starting part.  I dislike the carefully choreographed dance of over-thought emails needed to set-up a suitable meeting. I worry about how and if I should slide the topic of kink into the conversation. The cynical mathematician living in my brain computes the worldwide ratio of first dates to successful relationships and whispers that I’m probably wasting my time. Most of all, I hate the uncertainty of the end. Do we hug, kiss or fuck? Seeing as I’m British I sometimes settle for shaking hands, which might help explain why I’m still single.

I need to meet up with a few more ladies like the one in the drawing by Rodzo below. The man might not be all that comfortable. The whip might be painful. Oxygen could start to be an issue. But at least he doesn’t have to worry about that awkward moment on her doorstep at the end of the evening.

Femdom by Rodzo