Bondage – Page 53 – Femdom Resource

Surrender v’s Submission

Troy Orleans has a new blog post up where she talks a little about her blogging history and what motivates her to write. It also includes an ask for interesting questions for her to answer via the blog. I’m kind of surprised that some readers see her blog as a source of wank material, and simply ask to have scenes described. Given the vast flood of porn available online, with an almost infinite supply of images and fiction, a pro-domme blog seems an odd place to try and elicit material to bash the bishop to. Clearly I have too high a respect for my fellow man. I guess there’s a first time for everything.

I didn’t realize she had had a formspring account for questions, and I enjoyed browsing back through it. One particular comment caught my eye.

I sorta think that most of my play partners are fairly submissive to me, but their submission is something that I’ve earned over time and not “submission” in a fetishistic sense. I’m rarely asking my play partners to do things they don’t want to do or “forcing” them to “submit” to anything. Rather, it’s that they give themselves over to me out of trust and respect and a passion for the journey that comes with good, intense, highly skilled play. Throughout my practice, I’ve always maintained that what I seek is not submission, but surrender.
Troy Orleans

If you look up the dictionary definitions of ‘surrender’ and ‘submission’ they’re almost identical, and yet surrender resonates with me and the way I play much more than the idea of submission. To surrender feels like a voluntary act. When I’m in a session the mistress doesn’t need to be overtly dominant. I cooperate. Encourage even. I enjoy being a partial instrument in my own demise. In contrast the concept of submission seems to suggest a response to a forceful act of domination. The other term often used in this context is ‘bottom’, but that never quite aligns with me either. That loses too much of the power exchange component. After all you can be a dominant bottom. Perhaps I need to coin a new word. Surrenderist? Surrendission? Surrmission?

My ugly neologistic musings aside, if you’ve got an interesting question for one of the top NYC dommes, then I suggest firing it in Troy Orlean’s direction. Just don’t try and use it to pad your wank bank. In the meantime I’ll leave you with an impressive image of heavy bondage from her Salon d’Orleans.

Double your pleasure, double your agonizing torment

I’m safely back in Seattle after a fun few days in California. Normally blogging service (and email responses and comment replies) should now be resumed.

The night before I left San Francisco I had a very enjoyable but very intense double session with Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li. Like my earlier session with just Domina Yuki, we snapped a bunch of photographs, so hopefully I’ll have some good shots to share here. With any luck there might even be an attractive dominant woman in a few of them, rather than just my usual pale scrawny ass.

In the meantime here’s a nice photograph of a happy submissive and a couple of dominant women. Our session didn’t look a lot like this. There was a little less ear nibbling and little more vicious caning. Plus a fair amount of whimpering and non-macho screaming. A stoic silent masochist I am not. However, I do suspect at some points I had a similar happy dreamy smile to the man below.

I found this shot on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.

Relaxing on a bed

In yesterday’s post I talked a little about how much I enjoy playing on a bed. I like being able to relax into a scene, not having to worry about cramping from strange positions or numbness from extreme bondage. Being bound spread-eagled and have the domme lie alongside me – twisting, tweaking and pinching as she wants – is a great way to play. It creates a sense of intimacy, which I find particularly attractive when mixed with heavy sadism.

Thinking about this type of play sent me scurrying into my picture archives for illustrative shots. Here’s one I particularly like, even though I’m not sure it really shows the kind of intimate and sensual domination I originally had in mind. Maybe it’s the nipple clamps, maybe it’s the tight cock bondage, or maybe it’s the flogger being applied to his balls, but something tells me he’s not all that relaxed, despite the bed. On the other hand it does definitely check the heavy sadism box, so it’s at least partially what I was looking for.

I found this on The Heart’s Dark Desire tumblr (aka women with whips).

A delightfully wrapped package

After yesterday’s rather tetchy post and extreme image, here’s something a little lighter. The rope bondage looks pretty but also seems effective. I like to imagine the dominant is about to lean in and bite some tender and enticing patch of exposed flesh.

This is from the beauty of submission tumblr. If you’re a fan of F/f images then it’s a tumblr well worth taking a look through.

Screw the roses

I really hate Valentines Day. This is not because I’m a miserable curmudgeon (that’s just a coincidence), and I certainly don’t dislike a romantic gesture at the right time. But Valentines Day is amateur hour. If you need a special day as a reminder to buy some flowers, or champagne or whatever tickles the fancy of your romantic significant other, then you probably have other issues to address. What’s particularly annoying from my personal perspective is the restaurant situation. They cram in extra tables, only offer a fixed menu and charge extra. Add in harried waitstaff and a lot of new customers who expect special treatment on their rare night out, and you’ve got a real zoo. I never go out on Valentines Day if I can avoid it, whatever my relationship status.

Unfortunately this week I’m traveling and solo. I’m therefore going to be forced into my starring role of bitter grumpy man in restaurant. This will be swiftly followed by my encore presentation of drunk grumpy man in restaurant. In the meantime I’ll leave you with the least romantic image I could find on my computer. This is from the always extreme EmmaS.

With apologies to my readers

I’m sorry about posting this image, I really am. It’s pretty fucked up.

It has been lurking on my hard drive for months now. I could never decide what to do with it. It’s a little like that bottle of viciously strong but heinous tasting liquor that gets left after a party. You can’t image any situation where you’d want to drink it, but also can’t quite bring yourself to throw it away. In this case, having just put up a post about guns and girls, I figured it was now or never. So here it is.

The reason I considered posting it at all was my odd reaction to it. It’s an image where my mental backstory makes a significant difference to how I perceive it. If I imagine that the gun is empty, and it’s all just a massive headtrip they’re running on the slave, then I think it’s a very hot image. The two women engrossed in each other, together with their extreme mental cruelty to the bound man, is arousing. Albeit in a twisted fucked up way (my favorite kind). On the other hand, if I imagine the gun is loaded, and he’s about to be shot in the head, then I hate it with a passion. That’s twisted at a level I just can’t get my head around. I can’t think of any other images that I’ve had such an extreme reaction to, based on how I project into them.

I believe the artist for this goes under the handle of Tink. His (or her) work has featured here in the past (this for example), but I’ve never tracked down any biographical information or a good hosting site for his/her images.

Why so serious?

Just a short post tonight. I’m packing for a trip, and posting may be a little erratic over the coming week.

In the meantime I’ll leave you to ponder this picture and what exactly the young gentleman is so concerned about. Most men confronted by an attractive young lady taking her pants off would be somewhat enthralled. Clearly the evening is not unfolding as he was expecting. Perhaps he has a purity ring? I’m going to guess it might be about to get a little tarnished.

I’m afraid I don’t know the artist. Feel free to leave a comment if you can help with attribution.

Grabbing the goodies

It’s sometimes interesting to follow the path of an image on tumblr. I’ve seen this one pop up repeatedly in different variations. I think it’s a great image. I love the way he’s restrained and yet open. She can tantalize him with a gentle kiss or squeeze her hand to inflict a little pain. As far as I can tell this is the original format format from elements studio (although I can’t find it on their site). Yet I’ve seen it in black and white, or with the logo surgically removed or in various cropped forms that alter the focus and overall composition. I’ve no idea why this particular image has been tweaked so often, as it works wonderfully as is.

Beautiful red lines

While I’m on a whipping theme, here’s an ‘after’ shot courtesy of Mistress Simone Kross (on the left). The whips aren’t quite as fearsome as the one from yesterday, but they certainly seem to have done an effective job on this slave.

I love having marks like this. I’ll inspect them immediately after a session, and then every morning and night as I’m changing. There’s something very satisfying about them, particularly if they raise the skin and I can actually run my hand across the surface to feel them. Partly it’s the reminder they give me of the session. The intensity of that moment. Partly it’s a sense of pride. I took it all without quitting. But mostly I think it’s the sense of connection. They’re the marks the dominant chose to give me. It’s a very personal gift and I’m always sad when they fade.

Update: Thanks to a comment from Jim I can supply a little additional background. This is a shot from ClubDom and the mistress on the right is Goddess Deanna of Boston.

Site Updates

I spent a little time this weekend cleaning up links and adding new ones. In no particular order, some of the changes included…

Adding Domina Liza’s blog to the pro-domme section of my blogroll. It’s a new blog but I’m confident it’ll be an interesting one. She already has a post up about the bed of nails I referenced in an earlier post of my own.

Adding Princess Annie Domine‘s blog to the femdom section of my blogroll. It’s also relatively new, but I’m hoping her writing on how she finds her way into the real life D/s world will be of interest to both dominants and submissives.

Adding links to the Submissive Guide and Clarisse Thorn’s blog to the BDSM articles page. Both have a lot of good background reading if you’ve never encountered them before.

Adding some links to James Pendergrass’s fiction to the Femdom Fiction page. Check out his free fiction at SM Tales if you’re looking for some new femdom stories.

Adding the following tumblr sites to my Femdom Image page: Alternative Femdom, CBSteve, Littleman Rayburn’s Captions, Rue Montorgueil, Women Power and Worshiping Women.

Hopefully there’ll be a little something for everyone to enjoy in those new links. The image for this post comes from one of the new tumblrs, Alternative Femdom. I’m not sure of its original source, or exactly what the context is, but I do enjoy their two expressions. And, as they say, you can solve anything with duct tape.