Cane – Page 3 – Femdom Resource

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Today’s post brings you a two year old story that isn’t femdom related. However, it was just so ludicrous that I couldn’t resist featuring it.

The story features a man accused of possessing tiger bestiality porn. As a kink enthusiast I like some danger mixed in with my sex, but getting a tiger involved seems a touch extreme. I’m not sure they fully understand the concept of safe words. The police arrested him and took him to court, whereupon, as this newspaper articles describes…

The prosecution offered no evidence when it was accepted that the tiger in the clip was not real, and that it was all a joke.
It emerged in court that police and prosecutors had not previously listened to the film with the sound on.
Following the act, the tiger turned to the camera and roared: “That beats the Frosties advert!”.

It’s a story that raises some interesting questions. For a start, just how realistic was this tiger costume? Are some of the Pixar animators now getting involved in making bestiality videos on the side? I’ve never seen a pantomime animal outfit that’d be mistaken for the real thing even for a second. Either we’ve stumbled across the world’s greatest animal impersonator or the police were morons. Also, where did they think the tiger was from? Did they start phoning around local zoos? That must have been an interesting conversation – “Excuse me sir, but have you noticed anyone fucking your tiger recently?” And exactly who did the police think they were protecting in this case? I know bestiality raises the issues of consent and cruelty, but a tiger? I understand that no means no, but I also think that getting ripped limb from limb by a 600lb killing machine probably means no as well.

More seriously, it illustrates a point about dealing with the police in these situations. This was a guy who got sent a joke video-clip and ended up in court because the investigating officer couldn’t even be bother to turn his speakers up. Imagine the incredible stress and hassle involved, not to mention the embarrassment factor, only to have the police and prosecution go “Ooops, our bad. Have a nice day.” The police aren’t paid to be fair or to try and do the right thing. Their job is to get enough evidence to arrest someone, possibly you, for whatever they think they can get a conviction for.

I’m both amused and simultaneously depressed when I see sex workers using elaborate codes and euphemisms to try and avoid legal entanglement. Payment is always a tribute or a donation. Sometimes it’s in roses, and they’re given just for time spent, never sexual services. Don’t offer the money, just leave it visibly on the side. Some pro-dommes will even not tell you to get undressed, instead the coded request is just to ‘get ready’. I understand the thinking, but the cynic in me suspects it’s all wasted effort. If a cop has decided to go after a discrete and professional sex worker who isn’t bothering her neighbors, then he’s probably not going to let little details like what was actually said get in the way. It’ll be her word against his, and I’m sure the jury will hear whatever magic phrases are necessary to secure the conviction.

If you’ve never seen the talk by Professor James Duane entitled “Don’t talk to the police” then I highly recommend watching it. Hopefully none of my readers will ever find themselves needing it. Sadly, as the original story shows, you never know when the police might intersect with your life in unfortunate ways. I just hope that Michael Palin and Eric Idle don’t find themselves under investigation for theft of a leg.

Finding tiger related femdom images for this post proved difficult. I’m therefore going to go with the law enforcement theme. Here’s Cole Conners from Men In Pain extracting a confession from Plew. Let’s hope he keeps Professor Duane’s advice in mind while she’s caning his genitals.

Awaiting her moment

The cane flexing shot is a femdom porn cliche. It pops up all over the place, particularly with mistresses dressed in sexy authoritarian but non-fetish outfits (for example this, or this, or this, …) That’s not to say it doesn’t work. It’s a cliche for a reason. For a lot of submissive guys (including this one) it pushes buttons. However, I normally try and steer clear of the obvious femdom tropes on this blog. They are too easy to find in a hundred other places.

I liked this shot for doing something a little different with the idea. She’s not sneering down the camera lense, but looks to be lost in thought, flexing the cane as a reflex as she ponders the moment. There’s a nice ambiguity to it and it’s possible to imagine any number of storylines to accompany it.

I found it on the Poe’s Mistress (aka French Twist) tumblr. I believe it’s a shot by Ellen von Unwerth. She’s a fashion photographer who started life as a model before moving behind the camera. I suspect the image is therefore from a mainstream fashion shot of some sort.

Enthusiasm

This image comes courtesy of Otto’s Femdom spanking art. It’s a nicely executed drawing, with a pair of enthusiastic ladies providing all sorts of stimulation to their victims.

I always enjoy coming across obscure but fun drawings like this.The internet is full of talented amateurs writing stories, posting photographs, creating blogs, etc. But for some reason I find artwork particularly appealing. Seeing talent in someone else is always pleasurable, and artwork is a very immediate way to demonstrate it. There’s a quick hit of “Oh that’s hot, I like that” quickly followed by “And somebody out there created this from nothing.”

Playing footsie

I’m feeling a little sore right now. I’m also buzzed, floating, happy. Lady Lydia gave me a good working over with a variety of slappy, swishy and swingy things. There was one particularly evil device, a short heavy plastic/rubber cane, that had the biggest delay from impact to pain that I’ve ever experienced. It was a case of WHAP…wait…wait…make a coffee…phone a friend…do your taxes….wait…OWWW – fuck me that hurts. Particularly evil when applied quickly in succession so the pain radiates and spreads in layers over time.

Two good learning points. One is that somebody digging their nails into my thighs and then dragging them hard across a very red and bruised posterior gets a spectacular yell out of me. Two is that being beaten on the feet and then tickled on the soles is a truly evil combination. In honor of that second point I thought I’d feature a little bastinado as the image.

This is Lady Jenny, a pro-domme based in Hungarian. I found the image on the Whipping Mistress blog.

Safewords

Salon has an interesting and disturbing article about people ignoring the abuse of safewords within the BDSM scene. I’ve heard similar stories before and while it’s depressing, I’m not particularly surprised. Closing ranks and suppressing internal dissent is a common trait in groups that are, or perceive themselves as, persecuted minorities. I don’t play in ‘the scene’ or attend community events, so other than pointing people at the article, I really can’t add anything to that specific discussion. However, it did get me thinking about safewords in general, and my personal experiences with pro-dommes.

The usage of safewords was a shock to me when I first started playing for real. Not that people used them, but the fact that some people didn’t. The BDSM community has done such a good job of promoting the idea of safewords that they’ve entered into mainstream discourse. If you surveyed a random sample of non-kinky people I suspect you’d find that the majority would know about the idea of a safeword, despite never needing one themselves. It’s an idea that appeals on a intellectual level as a clever solution to a problem and on an emotional level as magical secret word. After all the idea of transforming a situation with a nonsensical but powerful word, like Abracadabra or ‘Open Sesame’, crops up again and again in stories. There’s something innately appealing about that concept.

Among the different pro-dommes I’ve played with, I’ve noticed three distinct approaches.

Pro-dommes that use a safeword.
Pro-dommes that don’t use a safeword and genuinely don’t need one.
Pro-dommes that don’t use a safeword and really should.

The first category is the most obvious one and, in my limited sample set, the commonest. You agree a word (red, pineapple, ouch, etc. ), and head off for kinky fun.

The second category is rarer but satisfying when you encounter it. I’ve never had a safeword when playing with Lydia and it has never been an issue. That doesn’t mean I’ve never stopped a scene because of cramping or some other significant problem, but it has always been easy to step away from the action and communicate normally. Lydia is also an expert at reading body language and subtle physical tells. I’m always amazed when we deconstruct a scene after the fact and she describes the little touches and glances she used to figure out where I was at mentally and physically. She’d make a hell of a poker player.

The final category is of course the problematic one. It actually manifests itself in two different ways. The obvious issue is of pushing something too far and putting the submissive in a situation where he’s withdrawn consent but can’t communicate that. The other more subtle problem is of going to the other extreme and constantly checking in with the submissive. It becomes impossible to relax into the moment if every action triggers a “Is that OK?”. Repeatedly being asked to regulate the scene intensity is not conducive to a submissive mindset. It feels like being forced into topping from the bottom.

In a strange way the dommes in this final category remind me of a problem I occasionally face when writing staff appraisals at work. Expressed coarsely it’s that idiots don’t know they’re idiots. Smart competent people have well developed critical analysis skills. Idiots, almost by definition, don’t. A good domme will choose either category 1 or 2 based on an honest self-assessment. A bad domme may confidently assume she’s category 2 when in fact she’s category 3.

As a result of this, despite my numerous good experiences playing without a safeword, I tend to think it’s wise to always insist on one when playing with someone new. If you’ve got domme who can genuinely run a scene without one, then you’ll not need to use it anyway. In time, as you get to know each other, it can be consigned to history. Alternatively, if you’re unlucky enough to find a domme whose critical self-assessment doesn’t align with reality, then you’ll probably end up very grateful you insisted on selecting one. I should also add that none of the pro-dommes I’ve ever named and written about here fall into this unfortunate third category.

If all else fails, and you find yourself needing out of a scene, then “lawsuit” is always a good backup option. Or, more boringly, simply “safeword” itself.

Original image is courtesy of Strict Miss and was captioned by Servitor. I like the caption and the brandished cane. Less keen on her outfit.

The secret ingredient

I’ve been entertaining myself recently by browsing various Japanese BDSM blogs. Since I don’t speak Japanese and online translation tools mostly suck, there’s a fairly large lottery element to the process. I randomly click anything that looks like a link and occasionally I end up somewhere interesting. On the plus side, I think I am slowly learning the Japanese term for ‘Next Page’ ( 次ページ).

One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of Japanese bloggers are far more interested in food than US bloggers. Or at least as far as I can tell just from the images they post. There will be a few posts on bondage and whipping, and then suddenly a picture of what looks like the ingredients for tomorrows dinner. It makes for a diverting if slightly incongruous image sequence.

This photograph manages to neatly combine both topics together. I’m not sure if he’s being punished for a mistake in the kitchen, or if it’s simply a way for her to enjoy herself while dinner cooks. I kind of hope the latter. Maybe he’s being caned until the water comes to a boil. That’d be a fun way to time the various periods in preparing a meal.

I found this on the 9ruikou blog. I believe it’s written by a Domina Ruiko, a pro-domme based in Tokyo (but I could well be wrong).

Where’s Waldo?

In my femdom artist gallery, that’s where.

I know. I know. Lazy, cheezy title. But sadly I couldn’t resist such an obvious hook. His work has been widely published on the web (including a past post here before I knew who it was), but hopefully he’ll be a new and interesting discovery for at least some readers.

Quirky Smile

This image is entitled ‘Thigh Caning’ which should tell you all you need to know about the reason for her smile. It looks like she’s thinking “Hmmm, he’s making some funny noises. I wonder if I should pull his arms a little higher or try beating him a little harder? Or perhaps both…..”

Although I suspect in that position his knees and feet will be hurting him almost as much as his thighs. Probably the cruelest thing she could do would be to leave him tied in position and simply watch as the pain slowly builds.

I found the image in this post on the Whipping Mistress blog (written in Japanese). It’s obviously originally from the Captive Male site.

Women are from heaven, men are from the pet shop

Servitor is the master of the captioned image, and this photograph (along with the post title) is stolen from one of his recent posts. I enjoyed all the images and captions in the post, but this one particularly caught my eye. There are a lot of things to appreciate in it – the metal penis stocks, the cane stripe marks, her tight leather pants – but what grabbed me was the draped jacket.

I always have fun mentally deconstructing a session after the event itself. I like to exactly understand how the domme manipulated me. A really great domme doesn’t simply string arbitrary activities together. Instead she builds a session layer on layer, making activities work together to create the right head space. In this case the jacket achieves three different effects. Firstly, it’s objectifying, making him into a simple pole to hang her clothes on. She doesn’t need to see him because his face isn’t important. Secondly, it creates sensory deprivation. His sight is removed and his hearing diminished. His focus is inevitably moved to his other senses. Finally, it’s a way of bringing him closer to her. Her scent is in the jacket. It may even still be warm from her body. He’s surrounded by her, diminished by her and focused on her. That’s a really smart bit of domination, achieved simply by hanging a jacket.

The original images source is OWK.

Smiles

My last post promoted a request for some happy dommes, so I had a hunt through my grab bag of collected images to see what I could find.

Personally I’m a big fan of being viciously attacked by a gleeful sadist. I suspect most non-kinky people assume that seeing a dominatrix involves lots of crawling around on the floor while she calls you a worthless dog who isn’t fit to lick her shoes. And that can be fun now and again. But the vast majority of my sessions feature laughter, jokes and a happy mistress. I find it much easier to make a connection and feel engaged with someone who appears to be enjoying our interaction. After all, if I’m going to give up my power to someone in a D/s sense, it’s nice to feel they appreciate the gift.

I found this first image on ‘The heart’s dark desire‘ tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t know where it’s originally from. The second image is an old shot from the Young Goddess site.