CBT – Page 5 – Femdom Resource

When no means yes

Ferns left me an interesting comment to my previous post on the use (or not) of safewords. You can read the whole thing here, but to excerpt a relevant part…

When I played, I pushed him to fall over into that space where his voice was unfiltered and when he was like that, he would say ‘no’ or ‘please stop’ or ‘I’ve had enough’. It was visceral and instinctual and he couldn’t stop it coming out, but he also *didn’t mean it*. He wasn’t role playing, everything in him was saying ‘no’, but he didn’t want me to stop.

I do think it is super hot when you get into that kind of space (as Ferns says), and her comment makes an excellent point, but I don’t think it changes my underlying idea. The goal is good communication, however that is achieved. If you’re role playing, or the kind of submissive who says no when you mean yes, then safewords are definitely for you. If you think you communicate more clearly without them, then I personally wouldn’t impose them unnecessarily.

Of course, in some ways it’s impossible not to have a safeword. If someone starts yelling ‘red’, ‘safeword’ or ‘vomit’ in the middle of a scene, I don’t think it really matters what you negotiated beforehand. The message is pretty clear. So in some ways picking a safeword is less about acquiring a way to stop the scene and more about negotiating away possible ways to stop it. Which is a kind of weird way to think about it.

This image has nothing to do with safewords. I just thought it was a hot and fun. I always love a happy domme. This is Miss Annalieza.

Pool Boy

This is a great concept that’s been horribly executed. Why is he wearing a chastity cage that’ll just offer him protection? And why is she playing pool in high heels, a silly outfit and sporting an enormous strap-on? Does that help with the aiming? And why are the balls still in the rack?

This’d be a great shot with a dark smoky room, a properly set-up table and two female pool hustlers sporting sharp suits. If they’d just thought of Paul Newman and Minnesota Fats for inspiration, rather than porn + pool, it would have been so much better.

This is obviously from the Divine Bitches site.

Prop 60 update

The recent general election may have not panned out the way I would have hoped, but there was some good news. California Proposition 60, which I covered in this post, did not get passed. It doesn’t balance out the bigger picture, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

I’ll leave you with a nice condom free CBT shot. I guess it’s actually nipple torture, anal play and CBT, but whatever. More is sometimes better.

pinch

Bring it on

I’m still on vacation, so blogging will continue to be erratic for the next few days. Lacking time to write anything intelligent, my default plan is always to lean on the talent’s of others. In this case it’s the great Yumine Guo. I love the attitude in this image. I never quite say anything as bold as “bring it on”, but sometimes that subtext lurks around my responses. That never ends well for me.

yumine Taken from this tumblr post, and inspired by this original gif.

Looking forward to fun

Regular and observant readers may have noticed that I haven’t blogged much about my personal play or any trips that I’ve taken. That would be because I’ve been having a very boring 2016. No travel and no kinky fun makes paltego a dull boy. Fortunately, that rather depressing state of affairs is going to be solved in the next few days. I’m heading down to San Francisco where I’ll be doing a couple of different sessions and visiting many excellent restaurants.

I’m looking forward to it and hopefully much fun will be had. There’s nothing quite like enjoying a nice glass of wine with an elegant meal while sitting on a well welted ass. While I head off to pack a bag, I’ll leave you with this happy lady. The ball torture isn’t really my thing, but the big smile while playing certainly is.

ballgrab1
ballgrab2

Coffee and Kink

My fellow Pacific Northwest dwellers may be interested to learn that Portland is gaining a kinky coffee shop. It’ll be called the MoonFyre Cafe and is being organized by Mistress Pixie Fyre. As well as the cafe part, it’ll also boast a space for classes, a play space and an aftercare space.

While combining sex, kink and coffee seems very quintessentially Portland, it’s not the first on the West Coast. Wicked Grounds in San Francisco has been around for many years now. The shot below shows Mistress Alice and Mistress Leila enjoying a coffee in that space. Apparently the gentleman they’re with is drinking his coffee via a straw while having his balls electrically zapped. Perhaps he just wasn’t getting the kind of caffeine high he wanted, and felt he needed to step it up a notch or two? It’s probably still more pleasant than drinking at Starbucks.

Torment in the Wicked Grounds cafe

Dick questions

The latest Dan Savage article has three questions all about dicks. I found the final one particularly interesting. The gentleman in question had decided to wear two condoms (probably not the smartest decision he ever made) and as a result had triggered a blowback on orgasm. It turns out that pinching closed the end of your dick while pumping up the pressure is not a good plan.

“We sometimes see a similar phenomenon occur with people who wear constriction bands or cock rings that are too tight and try to either urinate or ejaculate with the ring on,” said Dr. Newman. “The result is a traumatic stretch of the urethra and microscopic tears in the lining of the urethra (mucosa). This disruption in the lining allows for electrolytes in the urine (particularly potassium) to stimulate the nerves in the layer beneath the lining (submucosa), thereby creating a chronic dull ache, such as PPP describes.”

I mention this because playing with orgasms and ruining them in inventive ways is definitely a part of femdom play. I’ve had orgasms with sounds in the urethra, or electrical probes in the opening, or simply when the domme has palmed the head at the critical moment. I think it’s worth knowing what the potential side effects to that can be. In theory the urethra will heal fine, but if you want to avoid taking any chances, don’t block it during ejaculation.

Vice This image is from the Divine Bitches site.

The flames are all gone, but the pain lingers on.

I’m always a fan of doing duos or trios of associated posts. Normally they’re a common femdom theme, but this time I ran with a different approach based on the titles and the lyrics of a certain famous British band.

Technically in this image the flames are clearly not all gone, but I’ll give myself a pass, as I suspect the pain would definitely linger on. She’s certainly focused on pouring the heat onto a particularly delicate area.

HotWax This is by the artist Akira Kito.

For anyone confused on the titles for the past three posts I give you: Breathe, Hey You and Goodbye Blue Sky.

Bernard Montorgueil

Regular readers will know that I always try and attribute artwork appropriately and, where possibly, provide some background on the artist. However, when it comes to researching these things, I’m rank amateur compared to Bacchus over at ErosBlog. He’s been looking into one of the more obscure femdom artists – Bernard Montorgueil. I’ve had a short section on him in my artwork pages for years but this recent post by Bacchus is far more detailed. Admittedly, he hasn’t surfaced any new personal details on the artist, but it is an interesting dig through the history of his artwork and the snippets that have surfaced online over the years.

I was amazed to discover that four of his original books recently sold for almost $47,000 at auction. Apparently, in the words of famous auctioneers Christies, they showed signs of ‘light soiling’. I hope for the sake of the new owner that was down to storage issues and not over exuberance by a previous femdom fan.

Bernard Montorgueil I found this example of his work in this extensive gallery.

Tag: CBT