CFNM – Page 11 – Femdom Resource

Spot the kink

Many years ago, when I was still a child, there used to be a competition in my local paper called ‘Spot the ball’. They’d take a photograph of a moment in a football match (or soccer match for those of an American disposition) and edit out the ball. The competition was then to mark an X on the photograph on where you thought the ball actually was. The closest to the exact spot won. This image reminds me of that competition. There seems to be something fairly essential to the scene missing.

What is he looking so nervous about? What is she smiling at? Why is he in that posture? He looks like he’s bending over to be beaten, but I don’t see any implements to beat him with. Why are they in a men’s bathroom? Are watersports involved? Has he got to pee into the urinal without splashing anywhere? What particular kink am I looking at here? I feel I should be marking an X on where the missing second domme should stand in order to make the whole scene make sense.

Of course it’s possible she’s simply punishing him by making him go barefoot into a men’s bathroom. Given how disgusting the floors normally are in those, I think that’d be a pretty sadistic act in itself.

I found this on the LashKisser tumblr site.

Updated: Thanks to Moose I now have a link to the original divine bitches shoot that this is taken from. And the missing X factor turns out not to be another domme, but a guy who’s about to screw the poor unfortunate slave. Which does help explain the look of anguish on his face.

Don’t forget to tip your waiter

Here’s something for fans of the CFNM genre. These images struck me as a little out of the ordinary. Normally in these kind of scenes the men are either being deliberately ignored or ridiculed and humiliated. But in this case the young ladies seem somewhat taken by their naked waiter. They can’t keep their eyes or hands off him.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution. These come courtesy of the Femdom Proper tumblr site.

Warmth

Here’s an image chosen to very deliberately contrast with yesterday’s post. While that was all blacks and greys, this has a real sense of warmth and happiness. The artist hasn’t used a bright vivid palette but there’s a rich earthy feel to it. I like her smile and the way he’s hugging a pillow for comfort.

I’m afraid I don’t know the painter, but I do feel like I should know. I found it on the Women Supremacy tumblr site.

Frozen Moment

I’m not really sure what attracted me to this image initially. I don’t like public play, I don’t have a foot fetish and the CFNM thing isn’t a big deal to me. I’ve been the NM often enough that I’m not really bothered by it at all. Yet it was still an image that caught my attention. It seems nicely balanced and composed, with the shared blanket for the women emphasizing the nakedness of the male. And the falling shoe is a beautiful touch. It emphasizes the idea of a perfect moment in time.

In the past I’d have described this as public humiliation. But a comment from Old Man Equine I think sums it up better.

By the way, the act depicted in the picture is not “public humiliation” to me.
It is an act of “public worship”.

That seems a much nicer way to describe it.

I don’t have an original attribution for this. I found it on the Slaves of the Goddess tumblr site.

CBT done simply

The CBT post from a couple of days ago provoked a number of comments about the skill required to do it right and the fine line between pleasure and pain. Here’s a nice shot of a very attractive young lady who seems to have trampled right across that line and is marauding around on the far side of it. Assuming marauding is possible whilst wearing high heels. That looks like a fair amount of pressure she’s exerting. No need for fancy clamps, brushes or electrics here.

This shot actually reminded me of a recent session of mine, although I experienced it in a reversed form. In my case the domme (the devilishly inventive Lady Lydia) had my cock and balls tied into a neat package with thin cord and was using that to pull me onto my tiptoes in a standing position. With her hand still holding the cord taut she then stepped forward and stood on my toes with her high heel shoes. That creates a particularly tortuous position, without any good options to minimize the pain. She laughed of course, which then made me laugh despite the pain. Anyone watching us would have probably thought we were crazy, but a happy sadist always makes me a happy masochist. .

I found this on the femdom marriage tumblr site. It’s originally from the appropriately named Young Goddess site.

A firm grip on the situation

After the nipples and the cock of the last couple of posts, we get to the balls. In this case a pair of nicely squeezed balls. She certainly seems happy with her handful. Hopefully she has a hairbrush or rod in her other hand that can be judiciously applied.

This is another image I found on the cock torture tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Compare and Contrast

This post was triggered by a comment left by Dishevelled Domina (DD) on yesterday’s post. She wasn’t a fan of the image, either from a fashion or an erotic point of view. That wasn’t a surprising comment to me. I wasn’t a huge fan of it from those points of view either, although I did like heavy leather strop being brandished. I mainly posted it so I can rag on the fashion disasters that so often crop up in this kind of corporal punishment porn.

As way of contrast, DD also provided a pointer to an image she loved and thought was a turn on. I’ve posted it below and I have to agree that it’s a great image. I like her smile. I like his reaction, and the fact he’s properly restrained. They look like a couple having fun. If I could choose an image to show friends what femdom is about, to break the cliches of whips/chains/boots and show how real people play, this’d be a good candidate. If I could only post one of the two images on this blog, I’d pick this one over the previous one everytime.

But…..it doesn’t turn me on. It appeals on an intellectual level, but does nothing to my libido. I’d swap places with the guy in a heartbeat, but as a trigger for my imagination this doesn’t give me much. This is more documentary than fantasy, and if I want real life I can think back to my own scenes with wartenberg wheels.

There’s a lot wrong with the other image. It’s certainly not one I’d pick to get off to. The fashion choices are ugly. I don’t role play, so naught schoolboy fantasies do nothing for me. And the POV shot with the domme staring sternly into the camera has been done to death. Despite all that, there’s something about it that invites fantasy. It gives me a jumping off point that the other image lacks. Which I have to admit is weird, because in reality I’ve no doubt that my only response to a strict school mistress in this getup would be laughter.

There are plenty of ‘good’ cliched images out there. I’ll happily defend the beauty of this image or this image, despite the surfeit of femdom porn stereotypes. But I wonder how images are around that can combine the realism and energy of the shot below, with the kind of libido button pushing that makes submissive males reach for their credit cards?

Image was reblogged here by DD, originally posted on Fempower.

Humpty Dumpty

The comments on my earlier post entitled ‘Femdom doesn’t exist‘ got me thinking a little more about definitions and categories. This isn’t new ground for me, as I’ve pondered BDSM labels in the past. This time I thought I’d come at it from a different angle, and rather than start with the existing labels, I’d try and define new categories based on what I’ve observed. I can then see how (or if) my groupings map back into the well known labels people regularly throw around. The two dimensions I’m thinking about are masochism and submission, and it seems a lot of the complexity arises out of the latter.

Non-masochistic / Non-submissive
We all know about these people, as they make up the majority of the population. Vanilla. Boring. Let us speak of them no more.

Masochistic / Non-submissive
These people enjoy pain purely for the sake of the sensation. They want to be hurt and enjoy the associated adrenalin rush without necessarily giving up power. A well known subset of this is the Smart Ass Masochist (SAM), someone who likes deliberately teasing and provoking a domme in order to create a reason for punishment.

Masochistic / Sexual submissive
This defines someone who enjoys both pain and power exchange, but only in the context of ‘sexual’ play. This play might be a session in a dungeon, an event at a party or simply a couple having fun in the bedroom. But it’s essentially a bounded experience in time, where control is only temporarily relinquished. The stereotypical example of this would be the high powered CEO or hot shot lawyer who skips out of the office for a couple of hours so he can be tied-up and beaten by a pro-domme.

Masochistic / Lifestyle submissive
I suspect for a lot of readers of this blog, both male and female, this represents the most desirable category. It integrates a kinky sexuality within a female led relationship. This doesn’t necessarily imply a specific division of responsibility or a predefined assignment of roles in daily life. It simply means the D/s dynamics and power exchange shades daily interactions as well as specifically sexual ones.

Non-Masochistic / Service submissive
These people find satisfaction in performing tasks and being useful for the dominant. This might be something as simple as cleaning or cooking, or as elaborate as being turned into a human-pony and used to pull a buggy. Pain, if it’s employed at all, is a mechanism for punishment not pleasure.

Now having defined these anecdotally observed groupings, how do the common labels of bottom, slave, masochist and submissive map to them? I think the answer to that is ‘with difficulty’. Three of the five feature some type of submission, and three of the five feature masochism. Slave certainly maps to the last group, but arguably also applies to the lifestyle category. And I think the term bottom could be equally applied to both non-submissive and sexually submissive masochists. It’s therefore not really surprising that confusion and misunderstandings frequently occur when writing about femdom. The basic vocabulary we’re using is woeful inadequate and imprecise. And to make it worse, people frequently use the terms as if they were well defined and universally agreed.

I guess at this point I should really propose a solution to the problem. Perhaps the paltego labeling system of Mas/NonSub, Mas/SexSub, Mas/LifeSub and NonMas/ServSub? Or maybe some kinky equivalent to the geek code (if that doesn’t already exist)? There’s already the hanky code of course, but that’s mainly concerned with specific activities rather than models of interaction. It’s also hard to take a code seriously where a few wash cycles can change your sexual preferences from anal sex, into uniforms, into oral sex, into aquaphilia (dark blue, medium blue, light blue and aqua respectively). Lets at least shoot for something that’s machine washable in future.

One additional point of interest is the categories I decided to omit from this list, namely the non-masochistic versions of sexually submissive and lifestyle submissive. This isn’t to say people in those groups don’t exist. It’s just that I wonder if they would actually define themselves as kinky. A non-masochistic sexual submissive would be someone who enjoys receiving pleasure and letting their partner take control during sex. In many ways that seems more a sexual preference or style, rather than a kinky activity.

Finally, after all that random musing from me, I think a little eye candy is in order. The picture has no real relationship to the text, I just found it (on Domenique von Sternenberg’s tumblr site) and enjoyed it.

Oh, and for anyone that has made it this far, and is still wondering about the title of the post, it’s a reference to one of my favorite parts in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

`The question is,’ said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

`The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master – – that’s all.’

So I’m a lamp. Want to fight about it?

While I’m on the forniphilia theme, here’s an image in that genre that made me laugh. The foot stool and picture look suitably cowed and submissive, but the lamp has a far more belligerent stance. It looks like at any moment he’s expecting aspersions to be cast on the quality of his lampshade, or his light throwing ability, and he’s ready to punch the person concerned. I can picture him standing guard outside a nightclub doorway, the lampshade still on his head, just daring a drunk idiot to make a comment about it.

The image comes from InerMiss on deviantART (free deviantART account required to view). The domme is Goddess Magdalena and the photograph was from the Secret Boudoir photography studio (and not the mature escort site with a similar name in the UK that turned up at the top of the search results!)

Caption Required

This is an image that cries out for a caption done in the style of the letter she’s writing. Perhaps something like “…and in other news, John has been making himself useful around the house recently. After losing his CEO job he probably sees his new duties as a small step down in responsibility, but I like him to feel he’s still making a contribution to the household.”

I like the kneepads and the hood. The former is practical and suggests a lengthy time in position, while the latter is nicely objectifying. I’m less keen on her dress. The fetish nature of it kind of clashes with the ‘normality’ (in femdom world at least) of the activity.

I found this on Awesome Femdom.