CFNM – Page 6 – Femdom Resource

Most men appreciate a few more inches

The French have apparently scientifically proven that men are attracted to women in high heels. This study wasn’t done by the Institute of the Incredibly Bleeding Obvious, but by the Universite de Bretagne-Sud for the journal “Archives of Sexual Behaviour”. They used female volunteers with a variety of heel heights to see how ‘helpful’ male strangers were in different situations.

One situation involved a woman asking passers-by: “Excuse me, sir. We are currently conducting a survey on gender equality. Would you agree to answer our questionnaire?” Flat heels got a 46.7% answer rate, medium heels a 63% rate and the highest heels a whopping 83% success rate from the men.

The overall results don’t surprise me at all, although I hope the experimental set-up was more thoughtful than that simply description suggests. The aspect of high heels that does always surprise me is how many men complain about their women wearing them. Specifically, how many complain about having to drive or take cabs because their partners don’t feel like walking miles through dark badly maintained urban streets on them. I think if you’re heading out for drinks and dinner, the least you can do is spring for a few dollars cab fare.

The most amusing example of this I saw was waiting in the taxi line at the Mandarin Oriental in Las Vegas. The couple in front of me were heading to the MGM Grand, which is a 10-15 minute walk in flats, and the man was complaining to the valet about the fact he had to take a cab because of his wife. She ripped off what looked like a very expensive high heeled shoe and brandished it in his face. Then, speaking loudly enough for the entire line to here, told him if he wanted to swap shoes with her she’d be happy to walk. Sadly she didn’t force him to take her heels, but he was quiet for the next few minutes until their cab arrived.

I found this on the Domination on My Terms tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Happiness and avoiding the ER

I’m very happy as I got to play with Lydia tonight. After my recent posts on medical issues and kink, I did have a fleeting thought that the Gods of coincidence and comedy might choose to screw with me, and target me for an emergency room trip. Fortunately Lydia is far too talented and careful for that to happen, so I got to enjoy some sensory deprivation and heavy bondage with no ill effects.

I’ve joked with dommes in the past that if I do wind up in ER, I’m going to be the one moaning quietly to myself on a hospital trolley, while they’ll be out front explaining exactly what perverse sexual practices landed us there. However, I also have a mental picture of it playing out like the overdose scene in trainspotting. I’d get poured into a cab with a twenty in my top pocket, and end up unconscious in front of the local ER. That would be a terrible way to end a session, but great fodder for an X-rated Bob Newhart* style comedy sketch. I picture a calm but slight puzzled doctor phoning my next-of-kin to try and figure out how he should diagnose a naked and collared man with an electrified buttplug at one end and a dreamy smile at the other.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with the gentleman in this picture, but at least he has no shortage of helpful nurses to try and diagnose the issue. Unfortunately I don’t have a source for the image

* If you’re unaware of Bob Newhart’s comedy then I’d suggest checking out his sketch Defusing a Bomb. That should give you a good idea of what you’ve been missing.

Fall has arrived

The weather in Seattle seems to have finally turned. Warm summer days lingered into October, but the cold and the rain is now with us. The leaves are definitely falling, and it seems only appropriate to mark the occasion with an autumnal photograph. She has a lovely outfit, although his looks like it might be a little chilly.

If you’d like to see some more fetish focused fall shots, including a couple more from the above sequence, then I’d recommend this post from hmp.

CFNM Trio

CFNM isn’t typically my thing. Yet somehow this image manages to be oddly appealing. I think it’s because everyone in it looks so comfortable. The guys appear happy and confident being naked, while she seems relaxed and enjoying being the centre of attention. It looks like everyone is having fun with it.

I’d guess this is the work of an independent photographer, but I haven’t tracked down the original source. I found it on the because you are mine tumblr.

Ethical erotica (cont)

After my last post I realized it would be remiss of me to discuss ethical erotica and not mention Pandora Blake. She could be a poster woman for the movement. In the past she’s written posts on fairtrade porn, feminist porn, ethical porn and the censorship of them all. She’s covered how to make it yourself, how to sell it yourself and what can happen when you do that. She even gave away material that her credit card processing company wouldn’t handle.

Her main site is called Dreams of Spanking and, as the title suggests, features much spanking. There’s a variety of gender combinations which I think makes for a pleasant change. Personally I can admire all manner of well reddened bottoms. There’s also a tumblr, which is where I found the image below.

You can see another image from this scene here, along with the original version of this image here. The full scene is available here.

Ethical erotica

I was amused when I first spotted this image. I couldn’t tell if I should file it under CFNM or WTF. I was less amused when I discovered it was shot by the Reality Kings site. Their parent company is D&E Media, which owns a bunch of porn sites. Unfortunately their reputation in the industry is less than stellar. They have a bad reputation with performers, and have been accused of using under age actresses. The one decisions Belle Knox (the Duke student who made the news for starring in porn) said that she’d take back was shooting for one of their sites. While there’s nothing definitively proven one way or another, I’d certainly feel uncomfortable sending any of my dollars in their direction.

It reminded me me of this old post from Eros Blog on researching the background of the porn you buy. Femdom material is particularly easy in that respect, as there are so many independent women producing it. Just off my blogroll I can point to the wonderful Mistress T, the English Mansion of Mistress Sidonia, Lady Annisa’s Medial Fetish clips and the Femme Fatale Films of Mistress Eleise de Lacy. All these producers write about their work and lives, as well as offer great femdom material. There’s also a huge number of independent pro-dommes offering clips for sale. For example – Irene Boss, Cybill Troy, Goddess Cheyenne and Elena De Luca. It’s easy to find testimonials from submissives who have played with and shot for these dommes.

I’m not suggesting that before reblogging a tumblr image you need the life story of all the models, technical crew and the guy who made them coffee. But if you’re going to buy porn (and it doesn’t get magically created for free), then why not send the money to the people you know are creating it ethically and conscientiously? They’re not hard to find in the femdom genre.

I originally found this image on the Beautiful CFNM tumblr.

Mixing work and pleasure

I’ve featured unusual scientific research on pain in past posts. A recent article from io9 continues this theme with details of 1933 experiment that lovers of CBT may find familiar. I’m proud to say it featured a couple of British scientists, whose names have sadly not entered history alongside other greats like Newton, Faraday and Darwin.

They were researching referred pain, a strange phenomena where damage to one part of the body manifests as pain in an entirely different part. They needed an easy way of causing pain and, being men, immediately turned to the idea of squeezing testicles. Also being good scientists, rather than the evil crazy kind, they experimented on themselves, using weights to apply controlled pressure. Presumably the Nut Crusher had yet to be invented. Their conclusion was that testicular pain also manifested in the torso, on the same side as the squeezed testicle. Perhaps my male readers can confirm or deny the truth of this finding? Or maybe try a repeat run? It’s not kinky, it’s just good old fashioned research.

Apparently the originally published paper doesn’t list who inflicted the pain on who. Personally I wonder if they persuaded an attractive medical student to do the job. You know, for science.

This couple appear to be conducting an experiment of their own. I’m not sure if it’s under controlled conditions, but she’s certainly generating a statistically significant amount of pain. I found the image on the Innocence is Bliss tumblr. I believe it’s originally from the Female Dom site.

Less is more

I had an unusual session with Lydia last night. It was mostly focused on piercing, which certainly isn’t unusual, as anyone who has read my past session posts will know. What was different about this one was that no bondage was involved. I don’t think I can remember the last time that happened. We typically don’t make bondage a focus, but it’s almost always in the mix somewhere. In this case I was lying, sitting and standing at different times, but never restrained.

The psychological effect it created surprised me. It made our play feel more intimate. Practically speaking, based on what got stuck into which body parts, it was no different to many past sessions. It wasn’t like we were physically closer than usual, or interacted particularly differently. Yet it seems that bondage has a much stronger objectifying aspect than I’d previously realized. Someone tied down is being acted on, even if they agreed to be there. Being free to move but choosing not to triggered a sense of cooperation, which in turn created togetherness and intimacy.

This may be old news to many of you, but it was a surprising revelation to me. I always thought bondage was a fun addition to a scene. I never realized that taking it away could also add to the experience.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image. There’s no bondage, but I always find being grabbed by the throat is a very intimate yet controlling act.

Poised and posed

Here’s an image for fans of the CFNM kink. It’s by Ben Hill photography and taken from a series of images called ‘One Side Life, the Other Side Death‘. In the words of the photographer it “…is a collection of shots designed to illustrate our collective paths from conception to our final rest.”

I originally stumbled across this via a cropped version that’s floating around on the tumblers. Typically images get cropped to remove watermarks. In this case it appears to have been done to simply make the image a squarer and more tumblr friendly shape. I’m glad I tracked down the original, as this version seems a far superior composition.

Ban Bossy

Sheryl Sandberg (the Facebook COO) has launched a campaign to ban the use of the word ‘bossy’. There’s a website and a video that features famous women such as Beyoncé and Condoleezza Rice. The reaction from the press has been varied, with a few positive articles (like this one), but a much larger number of negative ones. Some of those have been reasonable, and instead wanted to reclaim the word, others have been so stupid I think I killed braincells just reading them.

Personally I like the campaign. Although I don’t think it matters if the word gets shunned or reclaimed. History has shown plenty of successful examples of both cases. I just like the fact that it’s being discussed and people may become more thoughtful of how language can shape expectations or behavior. In my part of the business world, even ‘boss’ doesn’t really get used these days, except perhaps occasionally in an ironic context. People are described as managers or leaders, all words with positive associations. The word ‘boss’ has a negative edge, and the word ‘bossy’ is both negative and highly gendered.

Of course, wearing my kinky hat (handkerchief? handcuffs?), I’m a big fan of the type of woman that might occasionally get labeled today as bossy. Anytime I hear someone describe a female friend as bossy my ears perk up and I start making subtle inquiries into her dating and relationship status. It’s up there with feisty, aggressive and intelligent as great trigger words to pitch to me on any attempted blind date set-up.

This forceful and articulate woman, shown here demonstrating a strong leadership role in her relationship, is from the Subby Hubby site. I originally found the image on the CFNM classics tumblr.