Tag: F

The Hits Keep on Coming

Last week Germany’s Studio Avalon announced it was closing after nearly 23 years. I’ve featured the space in past posts and visiting it was high on my kinky bucket list. Sadly for me and kinksters all over the world, it seems our opportunity has gone.

This week it’s the turn of NYC’s Parthenon. Queen Ariana Chevalier has announced that it’ll be closing at the end of the year. It has been a fixture of the BDSM scene in NYC for 17 years. I think the comments on the twitter thread and posts like this one from Vinyl Queen testify how widely used and appreciated the space was. I played their just once, visiting last year with Empress Wu, and would have loved to return.

I covered a fundraiser back in June for the Parthenon. Given its location in Manhattan, home to some of the richest people in the world, I find its closure particularly depressing. How many wealthy Wall St. types have had the balls crushed or backsides blistered inside that space? With the markets hitting record highs, could none of them step up to help out until the Covid vaccines come through next year? We’re going to return to ‘normal’ in 2021 and discover it’s going to take years to rebuild we lost in 2020.

This is Mistress Ariana Chevalier in an image sourced via this tweet.

Professor and Dominatrix

The Daily Beast has put up an interesting if somewhat depressing interview with a Mistress Snow. If that name is familiar, you might have seen an article she wrote last year in The Chronicle of Higher Education. That detailed her experience of working in academia as an adjunct professor while earning money as a pro-domme and what happened when she told her academic mentor about her sex work side gig. In short, her mentor reacted with horror and vindictively withdrew critical letters of recommendation. The Daily Beast article is a follow-up that provides more details on what happened and why a professor would need to earn money swinging a whip.

I initially described it as interesting but depressing, and re-reading it again only deepens that impression. It costs a ridiculous amount to go to college in the US and as a result there’s a terrible student debt problem. Yet adjunct professors, who make up over 50% of all US college professors, are earning an average of a little less than $24K a year. That’s less than a Starbucks barista and with much worse benefits. Yet when Mistress Snow supplements her income with a pro-domme gig, the tenured academic world reacts with horror and tries to screw her career. It takes a really special kind of system to rip-off both students and their teachers while punishing anyone who won’t conform to it. I think this quote from the article really highlights the craziness…

I make way more money per hour playing a professor in the dungeon than being one in real life.

Note this image is not of Mistress Snow. I don’t have an attribution, but I’d suspect it’s from one of the UK School Mistress themed sites.

Also I should point out that Mistress Snow of academia (twitter here) is not the same as Goddess Alexandra Snow (twitter and pro-site) or Snow Mercy (twitter and pro-site).

Tis the Season

In the US we just celebrated Thanksgiving. It’s an important event on the calendar. Reaching it can mean only one thing – time to start shopping for Christmas! While the turkey roasting pan is still soaking in the sink, people are already hitting the (online) stores for gifts.

For kinksters looking for gift ideas then let me steer you in the direction of this post by Miss Pearl. She has a number of fine suggestions from the domme perspective.

Alternatively, for fans of corporal play, I’d suggest a perusal of the London Tanners site. Daddy An Li recently received a number of their toys and enthused at length about them in this video stream. Their equipment looks to be particularly fearsome and of a high quality.

This is Daddy An Li with a heavy leather cane from the London Tanners. Image sourced via this tweet.

Note: Anything I mention or link to comes with zero benefit to me and zero guarantees. I don’t carry ads and I don’t use affiliate links. I’m just sharing what I find interesting.

Ariel on OnlyFans

My friends have occasionally accused me of being lazy. I like to say I’m not lazy, I’m just an efficient time optimizer. Put off a task for long enough and it’ll often naturally resolve itself or cease to be important. Anything that does make it past a good healthy period of procrastination is probably important.

As an illustration of my method, I give you this rather silly article on OnlyFans by Louise Perry in the New Statesman. It was in my backlog to post about and throw stones at. Fortunately, while I was putting off doing that, Ariel Anderssen wrote this excellent response to it. She’s not only a smarter and a better writer than me but, as an OnlyFans creator, she can speak from a position of authority. So I saved time and my readers got a link to a much better analysis than the rubbish I was planning on writing.

The only thing I’ll tack on is a comment about the politics of the original piece. For those that have never heard of it, the New Stateman is a politically left magazine from the UK. I expect the right to be negative about sex work but I find it depressing how often it’s also attacked by the left.

The right’s objections are predictably based around morality, religion and enforcing social standards. They focus on the sex part, which should obviously be between a man and his wife, preferably in the missionary position with the lights out. The left typically object to the work part, suggesting that sex work is inherently exploitative, both for the seller and the buyer. There are no grey area for them. Formerly moderate lefties in other areas will turn into Marxists when sex enters the marketplace.

There also seems to be an underlying streak of puritanism in the left’s objections. Not the fake morality of the right, but more a sense that people enjoying themselves is somehow unfair. When reading the New Statesman article I couldn’t help thinking of the H. L. Mencken famous definition of puritanism  as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy”. In this particular case it seems to be a fear that someone might be happy and someone else might make a living from that fact. A truly terrible set of circumstances.


Ariel Anderssen is a  sub BDSM model, so most of her images aren’t well suited to this blog. However, I did think my foot loving readers might appreciate this one I found on her twitter feed. For anyone who does appreciate some beautifully done female submission, then her OnlyFans is available here.

Spooky Time

This is traditionally the time of the year when my social media feeds are full of kinky people in spooky outfits. I’m on record as not being a fan of Halloween, but I do enjoy the costumes. Sadly this year has been somewhat lacking in that regard. Not sure if that’s due to a Covid related lack of parties or if the upcoming US election has put too much stress on everyone.

While there might have been less Halloween dress-up overall, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been some great examples. My favorite is probably the shot below from Maya Midnight. It’s doesn’t feature a complicated outfit or fancy special effects, but it is a wonderfully moody and atmospheric shot. That’s the kind of Halloween I could get into.

Ms. Maya Midnight is a NYC based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here.

On Her Way to Work

Just a regular morning start for your typical busy dominatrix. On her way to work clutching her trusty single tail. Those slaves aren’t going to whip themselves.

I suspect the identity of this leather clad lady has been lost to history. All the references I could find simply say generic things like ‘vintage dominatrix’.  If you can help me attribute it then please leave me a comment. I’d love to rescue her from anonymity.

She’s Not Impressed

I’m never sure if it’s a blessing or a curse to find hotness in odd situations. Am I blessed to have an extra source of pleasure? Or cursed to be weird and out-of-step with the world?

Take for example the images below from Sienna Hunter.  I spotted them via this tweet she shared with the comment…

When he says he’s glad you didn’t dress in a sexy manner for the virtual date so he can focus on his thoughts

Now obviously she’s poking fun at a self-involved man with his foot very firmly lodged in his mouth. Also obviously, from what I can see, that is a very sexy outfit. However, I’m also blessed/cursed to find those expressions all sorts of hotness. It’s a heady blend of  bored, skeptical and “what kind of grade A bullshit is this?” I’d be mortified if someone I was with felt that way and couldn’t slap me about the head because of it, but love the idea of these expressions tied to a painful follow-up.

Sienna is a Toronto based professional companion. You can find her professional site here and her OnlyFans site here. She also creates a podcast called ‘The Escort: Deconstructed.’ I don’t see any indication she offers kinky services, although she clearly has a talent for subtle social humiliation.

Financial Blackmail

This post gives me an opportunity to pull together two of my recent themes – technology and financial domination. My path to this unholy union is via this Vice article on Mistress Harley. She’s a self-proclaimed Techdomme, dominating her clients via their dataspace. The information she gleans then feeds into kinks around humiliation, shame and consensual blackmail. Financial domination with a very sharp edge.

Personally, that kind of play scares the hell out of me, and not in a sexy way. It seems like extreme edge play. My data and computers are extensions of my brain and thoughts. Letting someone loose in them would feel like handing a amateur surgeon an ice pick and tell them to have a rummage in my perfrontal cortex. That’s not to kink shame, it’s just a very definite case of YKINMKBYKIOK.

That said, there are parts of the article that don’t seem quite so OK.

“I’ve definitely exposed people. I’ve posted dirty pictures of them on their Facebook or I’ve posted ‘I have a hot internet mistress’ along with a picture of myself.”

She’s also faked mental breakdowns on client’s profiles. She just starts with a simple post of “I’m not feeling well,” and as people respond in real time she begins to escalate up to something resembling schizophrenia.

That seems to violate rules around consent. Her client might have been OK with it, but what about the friends and family that see the pictures or get dragged into a fake  mental breakdown? Social media drama is bad enough, without later discovering that your friend is getting off on involving you in their fictional kinky storylines. Although if you begin to think about social media as being one huge humiliation scene, that does make a kind of sense.

If you are into financial and technical domination then Mistress Harley is clearly an expert. You can find her main site here, where she offers a wide variety of clips, customs and findomme options.

Looking Forward

A ten year anniversary seems like the perfect moment to a cast an eye to the future. What should I do with this site for the next decade? What exciting developments will be heading your way? Sadly, I have absolutely no idea.

Most blogs seem to peter out when their creators feel they’ve nothing new to say. The mixture of posts I use tends to reduce the risk of that. Occasionally personal posts are greatly outnumbered by those focusing on hot images, site links, funny articles, mainstream kinky coverage, etc. If I’d stuck to purely personal material I think I’d have been lucky to make it to year one, let alone year ten.

Given that flexibility of format and the vastness of the kinky world, I’m unlikely to run out of material. That makes my free time and interest level the primary limiting factors. The future of those two is hard to predict. I’m hoping that in the next few years I can retire early and create space for personal projects and travel. Maybe that’ll free up more time for kinky adventures and provide much blogging inspiration. Alternatively, maybe new projects will suck up my time and force me to make some hard choices about where I spend it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find a good balance.

In the meantime, barring technical disasters or unexpected life events, I’ve no plans to change what I’m doing here. However, if reader’s have any great suggestions or things they’d like to see, then feel free to let me know via a comment. I make no promises to adopt anything suggested, but I’m always open to new ideas or possible improvements.

I’ll leave you with a vision of the future from the movie Starcrash. This is Stellar Star – the best astro-pilot in the whole universe – as played by Caroline Munro. She’s the one on the right, sporting the standard pilot outfit of the future.

Looking Back

After a decade of blogging I thought it might be interesting to look back and see what has changed.

The obvious answer is that there are a lot less bloggers. I love and appreciate the people on my blogroll, but social media has sucked in a lot of people’s attention and creative output. That in turn has created some interesting knock on effects. When I started blogging I posted and linked to a lot of debates around femdom. They were centered on topics like the invisibility of the domme  in society, the negative perception of submissives, the distorting effect of professional dominance, cliches in femdom porn, etc. Sadly, I’m not sure we’ve improved from a cultural perspective in those areas, but there is less writing about those issues. I think the angst about it has moved to social media and that’s a far more ephemeral medium. It’s hard to capture a serious debate in 240 characters or less, particularly when they’re randomly mashed into a stream of thoughts from dozens of other people.

Another change has been a reduction in curated image and artwork sites. Artists and their fans used to create dedicated sites to collect artwork. Kinky porn companies used to shoot a lot of still imagery and publish galleries from scenes. Now most artists and fans publish via social media and kinky porn tends to focus on video only clips. For someone like myself, with a minor fetish for archiving and collating material, it’s somewhat frustrating. I’ve been less compelled to update my resource links, because there is less ‘permanent’ content to link to.

When I started blogging it felt like the dominant model of the internet was a library that anyone could donate a book to. Now it feels more like a big party house with endlessly swirling conversations, a lot of which feature bad faith actors and paid for guests. Much as I enjoy things like Twitter and Reddit, it doesn’t feel like a healthy change. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and yell at some kids to get off my lawn.

Birthday celebrations should usually be accompanied by cake, so here’s Lucy SweetKill serving one up. I’m not sure this approach is one Emily Post would recommend, but it works for me. Fittingly enough, given the contents of this post, I found this on twitter, via Lucy’s feed. It was photographed by JCPhotoMedia.