Tag: F

A Call to Perverts

As a complementary article to yesterday’s post on the failed UK porn verification system, may I direct your attention to this article – Perverts, It’s Time For Unity. It was written by Eris Martinet back in 2017 when the bill was originally being proposed. Obviously in some aspects it’s a little out of date, but its basic point is a good one.

When a man buys femdom from the big companies, he is eventually paying men. When he watches on PornHub for free, he is supporting a corporation ran by men.

Mindgeek is the company behind sites like Pornhub, RedTube and YouPorn. It was founded and run by a bunch of guys who have stolen and profited from the work of female performers. They’re a parasite on the adult industry and every click you give them makes them fatter.

Obviously I’m not saying you should be able to trace the production history of every porn clip and image you consume. There’s inevitably a wide variety of people involved between the production set and your laptop screen. But if you regularly consume femdom porn, then it’s very easy to find a lot of quality content being sold by the women who created it. Just search for a domme or producer you like and follow their site or social media links to their clips. You don’t have to buy everything you watch, but at least buy or subscribe to something. Be a net positive to the femdom creators out there.

This is Eris Martinet, taken from her twitter feed. I’d like to think this disapproving look is for everyone who doesn’t contribute back to Femdom content creators. You can find her own clips for sale here and here.

Swing and a Miss

The kinky segment of my NYC trip hasn’t gotten off to the smoothest of starts sadly. I was due to play with someone new (to me) today, but unfortunately something cropped up and she couldn’t make it. These things happen occasionally, so c’est la vie. Hopefully our paths will cross again in the future and it’ll be my only unexpected hiccup on this trip.

On the plus side, we’re into the fall season (aka Autumn), which is the prime season for wearing boots. That is a look I can totally get behind, and NYC is a great and fashionable place to appreciate it. Here’s Mistress Iris modelling a particularly striking pair (from this tweet).

This is taken in Fernando Boots in Berlin. If you’d like to see more great shots of Mistress Iris, her very regularly updated patreon is here.

Interlude

I had a fabulous session on Friday night that I wanted to write about and share photographs from. Anyone who follows my twitter feed might have already seen a shot from it pop up already. Unfortunately, this evening has gotten away from me, and I’ve absolutely no time to put a proper post together. So thinks as this rather lovely image as an interlude between more weighty postings.

I’m not exactly sure of the context for this image. A reverse image search tells me it’s probably Yvonne Catterfeld, but nothing about who took the shot or why.

Scent of a Woman

There’s a dedicated site for buying used underwear. This is a thing I did not know. It’s called sofiagray and I found it via this article they published on sweat fetish. I’m not surprised that the market exists. I’ve seen enough dommes selling used clothing via twitter to know it must be a money spinner. I’m just surprised I’ve never seen anyone doing it via this site.

I particularly love this missions statement from their front page.

Now, our objectives have changed. We no longer want a to be a platform for used panties, we want to be THE platform for used panties. Our efforts are solely devoted to hosting the most efficient, friendly, and safe used underwear platform for both buyers and sellers alike.

That’s the kind of line that makes a developers resume stand out. Just below ‘Software Architect’ and above ‘Director of Engineering’, I’d love to have the bullet point ‘Built THE platform for used panties.’ You’d never get a boring interview with that on your resume.

This amusingly captioned image is from Contemplating the Divine, and features my favorite kind of caption – turning points. I’m not sure if this is a product that Amazon actually carries, but I have to admit that I’m too scared to check by searching for it. I don’t want to risk adverts for used panties following me around the internet for the next few weeks.

 

Life Coaching

BDSM isn’t therapy and a domme is not the same as a therapist. That said, BDSM can be a very positive influence in peoples lives and, as this Guardian article makes clear, a dominatrix can be an effective life coach.

The article is by Sofia Barrett-Ibarria and describes how she hired LA based pro-domme Justine Cross to bring some structure and direction to her life. Based on this account it seems to have worked. It’s not specifically a sexual dynamic and there’s no punishment spankings involved, but this quote does suggest a certain sexual frisson.

I do, however, enjoy being told what to do, which is something I’d always been somewhat ashamed to admit. I love mean, beautiful women, and I love when they boss me around.

It would seem she’s managed to hook into a certain dynamic that motivates her and used it to create a more productive daily life. I wonder if I could pull off a similar trick? Maybe tie my next session into finally clearing out my spare room and scrubbing the shower in the bathroom? Somehow that doesn’t sound quite as exciting as my previous plan of getting an attractive lady in latex to sit on my face and torture my nipples.

This is Mistress Justine Cross, possibly demonstrating where she puts people who don’t update their monthly planners on time.  This is from her social media feed. You can find her professional website here.

Spanking Tips

For anyone with an inclination towards spanking, I’d direct your attention to this post by Eris Martinet. It’s described as tips for beginners, but frankly I think it’s a useful refresher for anyone who likes administering a spanking. I’ve had a few sessions where a quick review of this beforehand would have brought benefits.

In particular I’d highlight the need for a good warm up. That often gets cut short. In corporal sessions I frequently find that spanking is generally treated as a warm up in itself. As Ms Martinet makes clear, even a straightforward hand spanking requires a proper warm up period to get the submissive into the right mental and physical space.

This image is from Eris Martinet’s twitter feed. It’s not a spanking specific one, but I love it for her stance, attitude and overall fabulous look. If you’d like to experience a spanking delivered by a real expert then her professional site is here.

Tease as the Core

The Porte-à-Vie site has published an insightful interview with Mistress Iris. It covers topics such as the definition of a dominatrix, the relationship between kink and daily life, the attraction of BDSM, etc. What really caught my eye was when Mistress Iris addressed the subject of her specialty…

Tease is at the core of my sexuality. What electrifies me is the exquisite expression of pure desperation. The moment a person can no longer compose their facade any longer– when their dignity, their sense of self goes out of the window and they begin to beg and plead– that’s when I have the most power over them. It’s orgasmic.

As someone lucky enough to have played with Mistress Iris in the past (for example here and here), I can attest to her skill at teasing. I think a lot of dommes treat tease as a path to intense physical activities. It’s a way to get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing before the nipple clamps and needles come out. Mistress Iris makes tease an end in itself and, as I wrote recently, I think tease and denial can be just as psychologically intense as any masochistic session.

When done expertly, teasing and edging can feel more out of control than simple pain. After all, one can always safeword out of pain. There’s no shame in stopping a heavy beating when you reach a limit. But how can you safeword out of not getting something? The whole point is that maybe, just maybe, if you stick with it, you’ll be rewarded (but probably not). Stopping doesn’t help you. Continuing makes it worse. It’s a truly beautiful dilemma.

This is from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here.

The Maths Checks Out

Last week I wrote a post claiming that London was probably ground zero for kinky submissives seeking pro-dommes. You can obviously have a fabulous time in any part of the world, but for a location with the greatest accessibility to the largest number of dommes, it is hard to beat London.

I thought about doing some maths to back up the theory, but ran into a seemingly insurmountable problem. Specifically the problem of me being lazy and that analysis requiring work. Fortunately, a very helpful comment from sobrinoir, pointed me at this post, which provides a list of countries ranked by the number of pro-dommes per capita.  As I suspected, the UK ranks right at the top, with 1 pro-domme per 105,000 people, significantly ahead of countries like Germany and the US.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that the science behind the ranking is more than a little shaky. It’s based on pro-domme counts just a single source – Domina Guide – and a casual inspection of their links show a lot that are dead or outdated. It’s also badly skewed towards Western countries. I find it hard to believe that Japan has just 14 pro-dommes, as the guide appears to claim. Yet despite those issues, I think it is interesting data. The fact that the UK has a roughly comparable number of pro-dommes listed as the US does, while being one sixth the size in population is kind of amazing.

This is the London based Mistress Miranda, with an image from her twitter feed. She’s an expert in bondage and heavy medical play, and her feed features images from some wonderfully intense looking scenes.

50 Shades of Lavender

Literally seconds after I read this Vice article on a new trend for cute BDSM toys and pastel colored fetish gear, the image below showed up in my twitter feed (via this tweet). I think that’s enough evidence to make it official. 2019 is the year of lavender whips, pink cuffs and beige harnesses. Anyone still going old school with black and red is like totally out of date. Until next month anyway.

In all seriousness, fashion designers often seem do a terrible job of adapting BDSM attire into their clothes. This outfit by Dion Lee, and the others featured in Lady Grace’s tweet, are a rather excellent exception. Elegant, with beautiful clean lines, but still retaining the BDSM aesthetic. They were created in collaboration with Fleet Ilya.