The beauty of dominant women
Something simple for this post. A devilish look from Mistress Madeline, captured shooting for kink.com.
I post a lot of sessions here that feature fancy bondage equipment or intense sensation play. But frankly, none of that matters if the right dynamic isn’t created. The activities are all in service of that connection. And this is the kind of gleeful expression that I strive for when looking for that. Happy female sadists are my greatest joy in life.
Random thought of the day: The veil is the least fetishized item of women’s clothing. It’s very rare you see them in any kind of kinky scene. Which is kind of odd. I’d imagine that the heavier full face ones would work well in a sci-fi or medical roleplay. The lighter more fashionable ones – the kind sported by Mistress Adrienne below – would work in a femme fatale or black window roleplay. This would be a great look for a tease and breathplay scene featuring a soon to be late husband whose about to realize the importance of those documents he just signed.
This shot of the beautiful and very fashionable Mistress Adrienne is from this tweet.
This twitter thread – featuring a man complaining to Dan Savage about the prices charged by pro-dommes – blew up big on my feed. Unsurprisingly a lot of dommes were unimpressed with his suggestion that they drop their rates to suit him. Dan summarized a collection of the responses in his column.
I’m not going to rehash the primary question. I think the answer to that was covered pretty extensively in the thread. I will say that I love his subconscious thought process that led to it. Presumably it went something like this: I want to be dominated. I can’t afford a pro-domme. That fact can’t possibly be my fault. It’s therefore a problem with the pro-dommes in my area. They obviously don’t understand how to run their business. Amazing that all of them are making the same mistake. I shall now write to the world to tell everyone of my insight!
Ironically, if it’s true that all the professional in his area are charging $250 an hour, then he’s actually getting a bit of a bargain. That was the average rate when I started playing almost a decade ago. These days it’s usually $300 and up, rising to $400+ in expensive areas like Manhattan or San Francisco.
In an effort to produce something positive from his letter, and aid anyone thinking of seeing a pro-domme for the first time, it might be worth clarifying the subject of tribute. He seems somewhat confused by the word. Possibly due to hanging out on social media with too many fin dommes.
Tribute is simply the fancy industry term for an hourly rate. If you’re playing with an independent domme, then you simply tribute for the length of session you desire. A small number of dommes do charge extra for certain equipment (e.g. single use medical supplies) or for certain activities (e.g. full toilet), but that’s relatively rare and those extras should all be announced and agreed upfront. Tips and gifts are obviously gratefully received, but never required *.
In the very unlikely event that you find yourself in a situation where fees are being negotiated mid-session, or you’re being upsold activities after starting play, or there’s not a clear understanding ahead of time of the total cost, then don’t walk away. Run as fast as possible. I’ve never had this happen to me. No competent professional will ever do it. But I have heard of it happening, particularly when dealing with escorts who offer domination services, and it’s a big red flag **.
I found this Tribute inspired T-Shirt available for sale here.
* This applies to independent dommes. For playing at a house dungeon, where the domme works as an independent contractor for the commerical dungeon, then you should always tip the domme.
** This applies to conventional BDSM sessions. If you’re mixing financial domination into your play, then obviously different rules may apply.
As I’ve written in the past, I like to mix up my kinky play when travelling. I want to play with people I know to continue to build a rapport, but also play with people I’ve not met before to explore new dynamics and expand my kinky horizons. It’s not an algorithm that scales all that well, but it is fun to try.
For my recent Chicago trip, in the former category was Mistress Mara Mayhem, who I’ve known since 2016. In the latter category I was lucky enough to get some time with Olivia Black. She has an outstanding reputation as a talented and creative domme. After doing just one session with her, I can say that it’s thoroughly deserved.
We did a nice mix of caning, bondage and torturing my delicate parts (TDP), all delivered with the kind of caring sensual sadism that really pushes my buttons. I particularly enjoyed the trick of leaning in for a hug after attaching clothespins to my chest. There’s something attractively devilish about using a moment of closeness and contact to spike the pain levels by dragging against the pins. It’s a heady mix of pain and pleasure, where the boundaries between the two become very blurred.
This is Olivia Black shot by photographer Alejandra Gguerrero. If you’re in the Chicago area and interested in scheduling a session, you can find Olivia’s professional site here. Her instagram is available here.
Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. My Chicago hotel, whilst excellent in many aspects, was sadly lacking in terms of a reliable internet connection. They had zero connectivity for 3+ days and I didn’t have the time to schlep my laptop to a coffee shop to blog. I’m now back in Seattle, so normal service should be resumed.
Although I had some good kinky fun in Chicago, I sadly didn’t get any photographs to share. I had two great sessions with Mistress Mara Mayhem, who made me growl with nipple clamps, moan with clothespins and laugh a lot with an ice cube. I think an unexpected shock of cold to the nape of my nape provoked a stronger reaction than a needle through the nipple did.
I don’t get to see Mistress Mara as often I’d like, but it’s always a pleasure when our paths cross and we can renew our play together. Although we’re both serious about kink, that doesn’t mean sessions have to entirely serious, and it’s nice to intersperse laughter between the moans and yells. It is called ‘play’ after all.
This is Mistress Mara looking serious in an image from her professional site. You can find links to her OnlyFans, NiteFlirt and Clips Store here, or follow her on twitter.
I’m a big fan of pulp novel covers from the 60’s and 70’s. They’re the perfect example of selling the sizzle rather than the steak. The book contents might consistently disappoint, but there was always the hope that the next one might live up to the erotic delights promised by its cover. An endless sequence of the triumph of hope over experience.
This example, courtesy of this tweet by the Pulp Librarian, features a severe looking nurse, a glimpse of stocking and a cane. Admittedly, a cane makes absolutely no sense for a nurse to be brandishing, but pulp illustrators never let a silly thing like logic get in the way of a sexy cover. As far as I can tell from the Wikipedia page on the novel itself, there’s also nothing in the book about nurses, corporal punishment or kink. Anyone buying this book based on the cover probably knew that was the case, but still let their little brain override the big one.
My final kinky experience of my NYC trip was a session with Empress Wu. We had not played together before, so this was a getting to know each other exploratory scene. I’m always a fan of easing into new dynamics rather than trying to bounce off limits in the first hour or two. I’d rather leave buzzed, floaty and imaging how we could evolve in the future, rather than staggering out shell-shocked and wandering what the hell just happened.
One of the nice things about being somewhat omnivorous in my kinky appetites, and being lucky enough to play with different dommes, is the opportunity to do different types of scenes. I always try to skew towards activities dommes call out as favorites, and in Empress Wu’s case this gave us a really fun scene heavy in spitting, pissing, scentplay, breathplay, gagging and CBT. As a general rule, letting a domme riff on some of her preferred activities is never bad way to do a first scene, and that was certainly true here. It was a great scene and an ideal way to end my NYC trip.
One particularly interesting aspect was the breathplay we did. There was some of the ‘regular kind’ featuring smothering, hand to face and a plastic bag over the head. However, Empress Wu also did some breathing exercises that I’d typically associate more with yoga or meditation. She talked me through breathing patterns, allowing me just to sit and be in the moment, following her voice. That’s really unusually in a pro-domme session – a first for me – and it was a really interesting dynamic. I was floaty from the more intense physical play we’d done, still in a D/s mindset, and it was almost hypnotic to follow her voice and try to let my thoughts go.
We didn’t shoot too many photographs, but I did think this was a fun one featuring a bit gag and some nipple clamps. Bit gags are always good for drooling and the chain pulling the head down just enhances that.
This rather striking selfie shot was from Empress Wu’s twitter feed. If you’re in the New York area and would like to schedule a professional session, then her site is here. For anyone further afield, then you can subscribe to her OnlyFans here.
Should I run such things, this image would make for a great caption competition. I can imagine it as both a before or after shot. Obviously, with a look this disarming, the whipping itself will be a brutal one. But is this the before look of someone who has been gently coaxed into giving BDSM a try, and whose partner is about to discover that one should be careful what one wishes for? Or is the after look of someone who might have just got a little bit carried away, and is now wondering if the neighbors heard the screams?
As a complementary article to yesterday’s post on the failed UK porn verification system, may I direct your attention to this article – Perverts, It’s Time For Unity. It was written by Eris Martinet back in 2017 when the bill was originally being proposed. Obviously in some aspects it’s a little out of date, but its basic point is a good one.
When a man buys femdom from the big companies, he is eventually paying men. When he watches on PornHub for free, he is supporting a corporation ran by men.
Mindgeek is the company behind sites like Pornhub, RedTube and YouPorn. It was founded and run by a bunch of guys who have stolen and profited from the work of female performers. They’re a parasite on the adult industry and every click you give them makes them fatter.
Obviously I’m not saying you should be able to trace the production history of every porn clip and image you consume. There’s inevitably a wide variety of people involved between the production set and your laptop screen. But if you regularly consume femdom porn, then it’s very easy to find a lot of quality content being sold by the women who created it. Just search for a domme or producer you like and follow their site or social media links to their clips. You don’t have to buy everything you watch, but at least buy or subscribe to something. Be a net positive to the femdom creators out there.
This is Eris Martinet, taken from her twitter feed. I’d like to think this disapproving look is for everyone who doesn’t contribute back to Femdom content creators. You can find her own clips for sale here and here.
The kinky segment of my NYC trip hasn’t gotten off to the smoothest of starts sadly. I was due to play with someone new (to me) today, but unfortunately something cropped up and she couldn’t make it. These things happen occasionally, so c’est la vie. Hopefully our paths will cross again in the future and it’ll be my only unexpected hiccup on this trip.
On the plus side, we’re into the fall season (aka Autumn), which is the prime season for wearing boots. That is a look I can totally get behind, and NYC is a great and fashionable place to appreciate it. Here’s Mistress Iris modelling a particularly striking pair (from this tweet).
This is taken in Fernando Boots in Berlin. If you’d like to see more great shots of Mistress Iris, her very regularly updated patreon is here.
